018: On all or nothing thinking

Next time you’re beating yourself up because you missed a day of a new habit, or you’re tempted to throw a whole painting or a document away because it didn’t come out perfect, or because something didn’t work out the way you envisioned it, I want you to ask yourself this…

Episode transcript:

Good morning, Daily Peppers, and Happy Friday to you. The weekend is so nearly here. So I've been thinking a lot lately about the different things that hold us back when it comes to chasing our dreams and building a life you love. One of these things, I think is something we can all relate to. Getting caught in the trap of thinking that either we give something our all or we just face the fact that it will never happen. It's a bit like wanting to make art and deciding it's either going to be the best thing ever or you're not going to bother. Or deciding you're going to take up a new type of exercise but you have to do it every single day or it's not even worth it. Or building a new daily habit, missing a day and just throwing in the towel.

And I know a lot of you can relate. We all can. I've lost count of the times I've done it and I want to take a couple of minutes today just to really focus on how ridiculous that is. Allow me to illustrate with a pizza metaphor. Of course. So you're going out for pizza with your friends. You're really looking forward to it. You haven't seen these friends in ages.

And also pepperoni pizza is your favourite. So it's gonna be a good day. Someone comes over to take your order and after you tell them what pizza you'd like, they tell you, sorry, we just don't have any pepperoni left. Do you automatically ask for a side salad instead? Do you storm out of the restaurant? Because, and I'm just saying, if you followed the all or nothing logic to its natural conclusion, that's what you do. Now I know your answer is clearly no. Of course you're not going to ask for the side salad. There are so many other toppings, it's clearly not a huge issue and you can just order a different pizza. Maybe the pizza won't be as great as you hoped, but you're definitely not throwing it in the bin.

And let's face it, if you were to go around throwing an adult sized tantrum every time you ran out of pepperoni, well, life's going to be very frustrating indeed. But that is exactly what we're doing. When we apply an all or nothing mentality to our endeavors, our creativity and our lives, we apply such extreme thinking that either way, we're pretty much going to fall at the first hurdle. And when we do fall, we're going to beat ourselves up and we're less likely to try again in the future. Or if we do we'll maybe it'll take us a long time to even think about trying again, because this thinking doesn't even allow for a millimeter of nuance, and it blocks off so many eventualities that we don't even get to explore. We're not even going to learn the lessons along the way, we'll just write it off as a complete failure. I'm a firm believer that flexibility and adaptability are two of the biggest things we need to work on when it comes to building a wholehearted everyday life. Everything is always changing.

Things never go to plan, no matter how many different colors and variations of post it notes you have. So next time you're beating yourself up because you missed a day of a new habit, or you're tempted to throw a whole painting or document away because it didn't come out perfect, or because something just didn't work out the way you envisioned it, I want you to ask yourself, would you order a side salad or storm out of a pizza place if they ran out of pepperoni? No, of course you wouldn't. So don't get so stubborn in your own all or nothing mentality that you end up settling for the equivalent to life side salad or storm out on your own dreams. Because that is helpful for precisely no one. I hope you have a lovely weekend Daily Peppers I can't wait to see you back here on Monday. And remember, everything changes when you believe you matter.

Episode transcript automatically produced by Castmagic.io

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A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!

The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women. If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.

Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines

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