1009: Is it you, or is it an impossible setup?
Today I’m sharing an ah-ha! moment and a really helpful reflection to wrap up this week.
Episode transcript:
Good morning, Daily Peppers, and a very happy Friday to you. The weekend is nearly here. We have made it. And if you're being hard on yourself for what you did or didn't do this week, I want to round us off with some food for thought. So this week I was reading Emily McDowell's Substack. Now, she is a fabulous illustrator as well as a writer, and she has a brilliant series where she shares the truth about going mega viral. Now, there is so much good stuff in there, and I've put the link in the show notes if you want to check it out. But there's one part in particular that really stood out to me, and I think a lot of us can relate to, and it was a huge aha moment for me.
In it, she shares about some challenges she's going through and says it felt like a personal failing, not an impossible setup. And I really want to dive a bit into that today because how much of the time are we beating ourselves up about things that aren't actually our responsibility? Or beating ourselves up for being able to do an absolutely impossible task or meeting our own impossible expectations? A lot of us around here are recovering perfectionists, and we have collectively got a shitload of experience of setting some goals and then moving the goalposts every time we hit one. Or we expect ourselves to do something perfectly, even though we know intellectually that it is simply not possible. In general, especially as women, we are expected to have it all and be it all, and it is just not going to happen. And it is okay that that doesn't happen. And maybe actually we're doing enough, and instead of turning the blame back in on ourselves, we need to start critiquing the system. I'm not suggesting we completely abdicate all personal responsibility in every aspect of our lives, but I think there are a lot of things that we try to live up to that were never our idea, and they were probably never going to happen anyway. And we're doomed to fail in the first place because it is an impossible setup, like Emily McDowell says.
So as you're reflecting on this week and looking at what you did do, what you didn't do, and as a lot of us end up doing, beating yourself up about things. I just want you to take a moment's pause. Just look at whether it was realistic in the first place, and if you're taking on board impossible setup as a personal failure, and if you are, which I think a lot of us are, please don't use that as another reason to beat yourself up. I know many of us know the cycle of beating ourselves up about beating ourselves up only too well. But this Friday we are firmly saying it. So give yourself credit for what you did do, toot your horn and think about what you're actually proud of, and give yourself grace for operating within many impossible setups. I'll see you back here bright and early on Monday morning or on Sunday in your inbox. My Letters of Rebellion, where I share the real behind the scenes of what it looks like to build a life.
I love my struggles, the challenges, the lessons I'm learning along the way, and I would love you to be a part of that community if you're not already. And you can join by going to therebelrousers.com/letters have a good one. I hope you find some unexpected joy and remember that everything changes when you believe you matter.
Episode transcript automatically produced by Castmagic.io
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A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!
The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women. If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.
Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines.
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