On Creative Resistance & Doing the Work

Creative resistance is really hard. Sometimes doing the work is really really hard. You might be a writer, you might be a painter, or a blogger, or you might sell handmade things on Etsy. Or you might have a dream of owning your own business, or be in college doing final exams to graduate in a subject you adore. But for some reason, even though you know exactly the steps you need to to do the work, you just can’t do them. Everything around you becomes SO much more appealing. Checking your email suddenly becomes the most urgent thing you need to do - wait, there’s a corner in the living room that needs tidying - oh and the dishes need to go away. And you might as well phone bank and sort out your debit card at the same time - and while you’re on the phone, it would be nice if you called your brother to see how he is.

Sound familiar?

You’re not alone.

Sitting there googling productivity hacks, or trying to work out how you can maximise you time isn’t going to work. It’s still a distraction. That’s not the issue.

Nor is over planning and completely getting stuck in your own head about what you need to do - this is me a million percent.

(But a lot of people want you to believe it is, because they have products, apps, everything to solve that. This is worth remembering.)

Chances are, you already know what works for you. You know how to get into your flow - you know what environment you like to work in, you know whether music does or doesn’t work for you, and you know what kind of work you need to do.

Your productivity skills, time management skills, and your organisational skills aren’t what this is about. They may play a role in it, but ultimately, that’s not what’s going on here.

So what's happening here?

I was talking this over with my fabulous friend last night, and today I woke up to this quote she sent me:

“The more important a call or action is to our soul’s evolution, the more Resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.”Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

And it’s all there. That’s it.

Chances are, you’re doing work that really matters and you’re scared of fucking up.

You’re scared of failure, scared that it might not turn out the way you want it to, scared of what will happen if you do do it, scared of what will happen if you don’t do it.

And that fear? It becomes paralysing and completely all-encompassing.  So of course you can’t create the work that you need to do from that place.

But you can’t fuck up if you started. We all learn so much from every creative endeavour we have. We’re putting faith into ourselves. We’re betting on ourselves. Even if it doesn’t get finished, we’re reinforcing that we believe in our own vision. And that right there, is really important shit.

The call to do the work isn’t going away anytime soon. And we’d be even more scared if it did.

Why am I talking about this today?

Because I’m finding it seriously hard to get work done. I’m finding it hard to sit and just do the work. Work that I LOVE, I should mention. Writing blog posts, creating online courses, writing e-books, editing show notes for future podcast episodes, writing newsletters, make art. All of it. I absolutely love it, but I’m seriously struggling.

And If you’re struggling too, chances are the work is really important to you. Or there is a chance you might be using that work as a distraction for not doing what you know if really important.

Right now, the only thing that’s stopping both me and you is the voice in our head that’s designed to make up whatever shit it can to stop us doing something outside our comfort zone.

And it always shows up when we take a risk, when we bet on ourselves, and when we sit down to make things reality and concrete.

So let’s both be a bit more gentle with ourselves.

Let’s try and accept this as part of the creative process. Let’s sit with the uncomfortableness and see what this is trying to teach us.

Instead of swearing at ourselves and getting trapped in a cyclone of blame and shame, thank that voice inside your head, but tell it you don’t need it right now.

Ask yourself what your best friend would tell you to do right now.That might be to walk away and take a break, to celebrate what you’ve already achieved or to sit with it a bit longer and trust in the process.

Find something that keeps you inspired. You could look to the people who inspire you, and acknowledge that they didn’t have some super secret. They did the work, pushed through and made it work.

Or read something that goes completely against what you’re trying to achieve, and use that to reinvigorate your enthusiasm for what you’re trying to achieve. 

And if this doesn’t work, stop worrying. Know we’re both going to get bored of the inane tasks and organising, and the cleaning we do to get away from doing the work. And that’s when the work will actually happen!

Resistance is completely normal, especially when it comes to creative work, and work that really matters.

Not every day is going to be productive, and that’s okay too. Have compassion for your work, and compassion for yourself, and see where that takes you.

From one creative soul to another - you've got this!

** I have a feeling you’re going to love the interview I did with Amber Thomas  for The Couragemakers Podcast where we talked all about creating from the margins, the creative process and creative resistance! She shares some really practical tips and advice that are helping me so much! The podcast launches on 29th February - you can keep updated here!

I’d love to know how you deal with creative resistance - let me know in the comments!

13 things you'll gain from starting that big project

Today I'm sharing with you the big fuck off reminders life gives you when you're undertaking any big project. Whether you're writing a book, thinking of starting your own business, planning a wedding, or even thinking that you'd like a big project; there are so many great takeaways. Now, if you're anything like me, you like to take on big projects. Or the idea of taking on a big project. Over the last 3 months, I have completely overhauled That Hummingbird Life's website, and when I completed it, like most things in my life, I asked myself, what are the lessons in this?

Any big project will tell you a lot about yourself. Pursuing any big dream, and the hard graft that it takes to get there, will teach you invaluable lessons.

So whatever project you're working on, or even thinking of starting, hopefully these home truths will help and inspire you.

1. You find out what really matters to you

When we take on projects, of course we always have hopes and aspirations for the end result, but it's fair to say that a guaranteed and specific financial income isn't set in stone. Money might not even come into it, like many things in life we love. What that means is that so many of us are motivated by the things that matter to us. Fulfilment, working for a purpose,  happiness, connection.

Taking on a project is a chance to get to the root of what lights us up. It's an opportunity to remind ourselves of what really matters, what we're working towards, and keep us grounded and focused. And no matter where we are in life, it's a welcome and much needed reminder for all of us.

2. You gain so much more confidence and resilience

Something will always go wrong last minute. And it's usually something you don't plan for. But it's not a reason not to try in the first place. After all, by the time you're near completing your project, you've gained so much self trust and confidence, the thing that goes wrong usually comes as a surprise. And as a result of that, you deal with it. It's a great cycle that shows you that you're able to deal with anything life throws at you, and in turn increases your confidence further. Win win.

3. Everyone will have advice but you have all the answers

E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. It might be well meaning from someone you love, it might be someone manipulating where you're at to sell you something (buy this book to write a BESTSELLING novel). Everyone loves to give out free advice. But somewhere in between starting out and really getting stuck in, you'll realise how much knowledge you already have. And how much listening to your gut tells you. And that's pretty fucking powerful stuff.

4. You realise you can't please everyone, and that's OK

The same way as everyone always has advice, everyone always has an opinion. And they'll give it to you, unsolicited at a moment's notice. If you have a friend/partner that you trust to tell you the truth (in a loving way), use them as a sounding board. But what many famous writers have advised around not telling everyone the whole story until it's done? I think there's some leg room in that. It's not your job to please everyone - it's an impossible goal, and you'll just end up feeling shite. But you'll learn that along the way, and that is pretty fucking powerful.

5. You have to trust in yourself, that you will be able to bring your vision to life

Putting your idea into words is hard. Explaining it can be even harder. Even with the most elaborate Pinterest boards or deck of notecards, it's hard to show other people your vision before it's come to life. But just because you can't find the right words, or other people seem confused as to what it is you're aiming for, doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. And it certainly doesn't mean your ideas are silly, or too big. In the moment when you're faced with fear and self doubt, remember that you had the idea. You have what it takes to bring it to life. And if people aren't understanding it just yet, it's more likely to be because you've tapped into something special, instead of your idea being intangible.

6. You'll accumulate a ridiculous amount of skills

You get such a larger set of skills by starting a project that sets your heart of fire, instead of starting out to just learn a skill. Instead of starting by trawling through technical details, you start with what makes you excited, and pick the skills you need up on the way. Research and development are two of the most essential parts when it comes to working on a project, and it's always worth writing a quick list of skills you accumulated after it's done. I guarantee you'll be surprised.

7. You have to start before you're ready

While research is important, it also functions as a defence mechanism against fear. When I was a teenager, I spent years buying writing magazines instead of just putting pen to paper. There's something safe about learning more about doing something, without actually doing anything. One thing starting a project shows you is that you'll never be 100% ready. There will always be something else you could have looked up, or something else you could have spent money on. But when you get that urge just to start already? That's an image that's going to stay in your head and motivate and inspire you for a long time to come.

8. You'll find courage you didn't know was there

Starting before you're ready takes a lot of fucking courage. And throughout all of the twists and turns of whatever you're working on, you'll find courage that you didn't even know existed. Courage to tell the outside world what you're doing. Courage to share yourself with the world, and courage to feel the fear and keep on going.

9. While everyone will marvel at what you've done, not many people will see the blood, sweat & tears

Dealing with other people's reactions is an important one. People will wonder where you found the time, where you found the energy and where the talent came from. It's always worth remembering that jealousy and admiration can be sides of the same coin, and the bitter ones? The words they speak say more about themselves than what you're doing. We're increasingly living in a world where people produce the latest shiny things as if it's as easy as taking a shit. They don't show you the messy bits, the late nights, the tears of frustration. They want to be seen as having it all figured out. 1) No one has it all figured out and 2) Seeing the messy bits shows that you're human. That you didn't come out of the womb dressed in a tutu and with an iPhone.

10. You learn that it's okay to take a break

You can only have so many sleepless nights, stare at the computer for so long, or read the same paragraph so many times. At some point, you're going to realise that, like it or not, you really need a break. Then you realise that when you're rested, you can get so much more done and it starts becoming fun again.There's nothing like tiredness and exhaustion to suck all the fun and enthusiasm out of your life like a dementor. When you learn that your mind and your body needs a break, and it's often the best thing you can do, life gets a hell of a lot easier.

11. Deadlines increase your ability to make decisions

When you have no timeframe, it's so easy to get caught up in analysis paralysis. Decisions can take days and it just gets really frustrating. But when you've got a big project and you set yourself deadlines, it can be a different story. Decisions that might have taken you a week to make? You don't want to stall the project for too long, so they're made much quicker. And you end up trusting your own judgement so much more. And self trust? That's something you're not going to find on Amazon.

12.  There is no right feeling when you've finished

This is a big one for me. When you finish a project, it's a whole mixed bag of emotions. We can put too much pressure on ourselves to feel over the moon and enthusiastic. For me, right when I finish a project, exhaustion sweeps over me. Any sort of pride, or ability to give a fuck goes. Then a couple of days it all catches up with me and I get a huge boost. Whatever you're feeling, your feelings are legitimate. Just remember to mark it/celebrate it in some way!

13. You learn to manage your own expectations

Starting a big project can do wonders for managing your own expectations. We tend to downplay the things we're great at, simultaneously giving ourselves huge goals that aren't always attainable. Somewhere in the process, you start working out your own definition of success and managing your own expectations to something that makes you feel great.

Everyone's experiences are different, but I know one thing for absolutely certain. Starting a big project gets you closer to where you want to be. Whatever the motivating factor, the main thing is that you start.

Because once you start? The world is your oyster. You have so much genius only you can put into the world, and the world needs to see it! Wrestle those fears!

I'm looking forward to writing more posts on starting and planning projects.

I'd love to know any questions you'd love me to answer, or any experiences you've had in the comment box below!

What a noisy hamster can teach you about escaping

I’ve been looking after my sister’s hamster for the last week. While being a zippy little thing and quite cute, she also has a problem. All she's been focused on is escaping.

And I mean that’s all she wants to do. I’ve had hamsters before, and yeah, they’ve all chewed the bars and driven me mad in the middle of the night in their squeaky wheels in what looks like an effort to get the heck out of there as fast as they can. But nothing like this little thing.

And she’s so nearly there! She knows where to pull the bars to get the door open, she’s just missing it by one bar!

In between wanting to open the cage and let her out myself because the noise is so infuriating, I started thinking.

We all want to escape at times

Whether it’s a job you don’t like, a need for a holiday now! or simply needing to get out and get some space to breathe.

And sometimes, like the hamster, we just miss an opportunity, or we’re not poking in the right place.

Sometimes we get so close and it just doesn’t work out.

Here’s my thinking - if you want to escape bad enough, you probably could. I mean, the ways you could go about it might not be a choice that you'd choose to make, but there are probably options.

But sometimes, like the furry thing, we spend so much time trying to change things in a way that just doesn’t work. 

We can see it’s not working, but if we try hard enough, it’s going to work out, dammit. Right?

No.

At some point we need to change strategy.

Sometimes we need to change our tactics. Sometimes we need to take a risk and trust things will work out.

Exercise

So, if you’re struggling with needing to escape right now, get out a pen and paper and do a spider diagram of everything you can think of to change the situation/get out of the situation.

Include the ridiculous, include the downright impossible, because these might just hold or hint to the solution you’ve been looking for.

Include everything, and once you’ve got a wide range of options, only cross off what is physically impossible (including things you wish you could do, but can’t do right now because it would jeopardise your health, say for example taking on more hours when you’re at your limit).

Once you’ve done that, properly think on all of the ideas you have left. Do it with a friend, do it with a family member. Don’t cross off anything until you’re 120% sure it won’t work.

See what comes up for you, and you might just find that escape plan you’ve been looking for. 

I'd love to hear how you get on in the comments!

What cutting my hair taught me about motivation

I had a dream. No, not the Martin Luther King type.

The type where something happens in your dream and you wake up thinking, hey, I’m gonna try that right now.

Hold your horses, it’s not that exciting (and it’s definitely not raunchy), but it’s worth a blog post at least.

I don’t know where I was in my dream, I don’t have any idea who was in it (not Ryan Gosling, I can tell you that much), but I do remember taking matters into my own hands and cutting my own hair.

For all of you hair experts, I know this isn’t a huge. But for someone who’s pretty picky about who cuts their hair, and can’t even draw a line with a ruler, it was a bit of a big deal.

Acting on my dream

So, I wake up, reinvigorated, ready for a hair cut. I am motivated. Nope, I’m not going to go to my usual salon - as lovely as it is - I’ve got a stubborn determination to do it myself.

(An aside: I dyed my hair blue four weeks prior and really embraced ‘I don’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks’ ,so I wasn’t that worried about screwing up my hair. My main concern was giving myself a bowl cut and looking like this guy).

I quickly googled and youtubed how to cut your hair, put in a fringe and add layers and take what my partner lovingly tells me are hairdressing scissors (I’m still dubious), and then I went for it.

Remember I talked about hacking my garden bush before? This time wasn’t much better. But I roughly got the hang of it, and just figured I’d keep going.

Fast forward and I’ve finished my new hairstyle.

CUTTING MY HAIR WEB

The outcome

And it looks pretty good! Okay, maybe you can tell that the scissors were a little blunt but apart from that, I have layers, I don’t have a bowl cut and my hair has a bit more shape to it.

The lesson here?

Sometimes it’s about just going for it. Admitting you’re not an expert and trying it anyway.

What’s the worse that can happen, really?

[Tweet "We can spend our lives sitting on the sidelines, waiting for perfection, or we can just go for it and accept any mishaps."]

I know which I’d prefer.

What about you? I’d love to hear about any experiences you’ve had, or haircuts gone wrong!

Are you living with your eyes shut?

So many of us are walking through lives with our eyes shut. Tasks become automated, we can’t remember eating our breakfast though we can vaguely remember what we ate and everything starts to become a to-do list item.

Check. Cross Off. Leave for another day.

We end the day thinking about tomorrow. We start the next day already feeling behind.

I know I’ve spent days of my life with my eyes shut. I haven’t seen anyone I’ve passed. I’ve been so involved in creating the future that I’ve forgotten that the present is a work in progress.

We see everything on macro-level. We barely spend any time thinking about the bigger picture.

It’s said that the attention is in the detail. I care to disagree.

Stuck

When we get bogged down in the details, we often lose the purpose that led us there in the first place.

We get stuck in routines. We start to make excuses. We start to justify choices that neither serve us or make us happy.

It’s like the age old fear of waking up one day, wondering who took over your life and how you got there.

I know I don’t want that.I want to look back and think about the risks I took. I want to remember the bold moves I made. I want to reminisce and think, yeah, that was me.

So I want to take a stand right now for living with our eyes wide open. Let’s bask in the boring, let’s make joyful the things we do on autopilot, and let’s make decisions that pry open our vision and make us feel alive.

Go dance in the rain, get off the bus at the wrong stop, cancel all plans for the weekend and spend time with nature.

Go to a stranger’s wedding, get a tattoo, get to bed early and wake up for the sunrise.

Go make a thank you card for a friend, just because, go write out those crazy ideas for your solar panel range of dog coats, go take a cold shower.

[Tweet "Go do something you’ve been talking to people about wanting to do all your life."]

It’s only when we shake shit up that we start to open our eyes.