001: The problem with other people’s advice
Today I'm sharing with you my top three lessons about other people's advice. This has definitely been that learned the hard way!
Episode transcript:
Good morning Daily Peppers and a happy Tuesday to you. You are listening to the Daily Pep, the only daily podcast for creative courage making brilliant and multi passionate women just like you. And I'm your host, Meg Kissack. I'm a coach, a writer and a professional rebel rouser. And today I'm feeling pretty fired up. Why? Because we are diving into all things dreamshitters. Now, if you've been around here a while, you will know how much I bang on about and how much I love talking about our internal and our external dreamshitters. So today we're diving right into the problem with other people's advice.
We've all had those people, whether they are well intentioned or not, they know exactly what we need to do with our lives. They know what we're doing wrong, they know what the answer is, they know the solution. And all we need to do is follow their advice. So today I'm going to share with you my top three secrets about other people's advice. That has definitely been learned the hard way. But it's three things that I think might just help if you are dealing with dream shitters in your own life or you're just getting advice thrown at you from every single angle. So number one, other people's advice is always biased. It's always biased on their own experiences, but it's also kind of got a bit of their agenda.
Maybe it is that they want to keep you safe and they want to look after you and protect you. Maybe it's that actually they'd be pretty jealous if you did that thing and it would actually reflect back on them what they are or what they're not doing in their own life and how much action or chances are inaction they're taking. Basically, advice never comes without strings and the strings are their experiences and the things they want for you. Whether they're telling it from the good of their own heart, whether it is no matter what situation they're telling you in, remember that it's always going to be biased. Number two, like it's steeped in their own experiences. People, people's advice generally is birthed out of their own fears, in their own things that haven't worked out for them or the things that they find too scary. Something that's definitely been true in my own life is that things that are done out of fear instead of hope are usually the things that we look back on and we wouldn't necessarily make the same decision again because it's coming from an entirely different place. So other people's advice is steeped in their own fears.
And those fears are going to be unique, as we all are. Advice comes with a lot of baggage. It comes with a lot of other people's stuff that actually has nothing to do with you. And that leads me onto the third one, and I think the most important one is that other people's advice is centered and grounded in their own values. And sometimes, maybe a lot of the time, if you feel like you're surrounded by people who just do not get who you are and what you do, maybe their values aren't the same. Maybe they value security over freedom. Maybe they value safety over adventure. That's not to say their values are wrong.
It's just that there might be a complete mismatch in values which is ultimately going to lead you to advice that simply isn't applicable to you. Why are we really digging into the problem with other people's advice? Well, because sometimes we're in a situation where everybody has the same piece of advice and none of it matches as to what we think we should do in the situation or what we think we could do in the situation. But because everybody's saying the same thing, we're like, maybe they're onto something and maybe that's what we should do. I want to encourage you to follow what you feel like you need to do regardless of what other people are thinking. Because other people's advice isn't about you. It is a projection of their own experiences, their own fears, their own worries. Really, your own situation has got nothing to do with it.
And because of that, their advice can be pretty dream shitting and sometimes unintentionally so. So know that you are the ultimate person who gets to decide what advice flies straight through one ear right at the other, and what advice you listen to, hold on to or what things you think. Okay, actually that part works. The rest is bullshit. But I'm going to keep on to that bit. I know as women sometimes we worry about being rude or we worry about other people's opinions too much. But here is the truth. It is your life, and you're the only one that can make the decisions.
And ultimately, just remember, you're the one that has to live with your decisions. They don't. I would love to know what you're thinking of the daily pep so far. Feel free to get in touch over on Instagram or Twitter. I am megkissack. Or if you are feeling in a generous mood, I would love it if you could go over to iTunes and leave a rating and a review. This is the way that other creative women like me and you find the show and find their daily dose of rebel rousing. So hop over to iTunes, let me know what you think. And I cannot wait to see you back here tomorrow.
Episode transcript automatically produced by Castmagic.io
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New episodes air every Monday - Friday 6AM GMT.
A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!
The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women.
If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.
Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser, Meg Kissack, helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines
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