443: You do not have to earn compassion

It doesn't matter how much you have or haven't done, you don't need to 'earn' compassion, and we're diving into why today.

Episode transcript:

Good morning, Daily Peppers, and a very Happy Thursday to you. Now yesterday here on the daily pep, we were diving into how rest is not a transaction is not something that needs to be earned. And it is not something you simply reward yourself with after you get shit done because you get to rest anyway. And today I want to take a similar approach with compassion. Now around here, we talk a lot about how much we beat ourselves up, and how much we need to be gentler and kinder with ourselves. And while I know that can sound great on an intellectual level, and in theory, it can be so hard to practice. And one of the reasons I think it can be so difficult is because a bit like rest, we've been brought up to think that we can be kind to ourselves, after we've achieved a certain amount of things.

We can give ourselves a break when we have pushed through this thing that we really want to do what we have to get done. And then we get to listen to all those quotes about talking to yourself the same way as you would your best friend. But the truth is, compassion is neutral. Compassion is not about how much you did or didn't do, no matter how much you're in a dream shattered tells you otherwise. And it's a muscle that we build every day in every situation, rather than when we get to the point where we think, okay, maybe I need to be a bit kinder to myself. And let's face it, around here, that tipping point, when we realise we need to be kinder to ourselves, we've probably got to the point where we have pushed ourselves so hard, because we're so used to being so hard on ourselves that is normal, that when we realise we need to be a bit gentler. We know that perhaps we haven't been the kindest to ourselves. And we've treated ourselves in a way that we would not dream of treating anybody else. I think one of the fears that we can have around self compassion is that it can feel a bit like a tightrope, we can worry about giving ourselves so much compassion, that we let ourselves off the hook. And we become this lazy person, which feeds into one of the biggest things our inner critic can tell us, but it is simply not true. Because you are definitely not lazy. So let's just own it right now this shit is hard. It is really hard to be compassionate towards yourself. And it is really hard not to reserve that compassion for when you've really pushed yourself. But see it as one of these things that you have a right to every single day in your everyday life.

Compassion is not a pat on the back. It is not something that we have to be worthy for or we need to fight for. We get to be compassionate with ourselves regardless of how well we're doing, how we're feeling, what we're getting done, what we're not getting done. And when we realise that life becomes a whole lot more fulfilling, and also enjoyable. So here's to building your compassion muscle. Here's knowing that it is going to take time because we are unravelling, well established patterns that have been in place for years. And here's to go back to that basic question. Would you treat your best friend how you're treating yourself right now? And if the answer is no, adjust accordingly. Have a fabulous Thursday and remember that everything changes when you believe you matter.

Episode transcript produced by Castmagic.io

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A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!

The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women.

If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.

Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines

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