5 things to remember when all hope is lost

1. You can't compare your pain.

Yes the world is hurting right now, but that doesn't invalidate anything going on with your life. Try not to minimalize anything that's happening with you and get stuck in comparing your pain to what you're reading and seeing on TV. You are important.

2. A world without kindness is a dark place indeed.

It's really easy to lose hope. Sometimes it's a hell of a lot easier to believe that the world is an awful place than it is to trust there are good people out there and at times be proved wrong. Focus on the people around you - your family and friends, your neighbours and your community. There is more human kindness found in one small community than sometimes a heart has the capacity for. 

3. It is okay to not watch the news.

It doesn't make you ignorant. I think this tweet by Rae Earl some it all up:

If you find events trigger your mental health issues turn rolling news off. It doesn't mean you don't care. You're being responsible to you.

— Rae Earl (@RaeEarl) November 13, 2015

The news is designed to scare us. Our grandparents coped just fine without second by second news updates. Not keeping up with them doesn't make you a cruel person. It means you're protecting your own sanity. 

4.  Keep the media at a distance.

Unfortunately horrific things happen all the time, in the name of religion, money and power, but we don't hear about a lot of them. It's all politics. Instead of reading every news item you can find, hug someone you love. Ring someone who matters to you. Do something to celebrate the fact you're alive. 

5. Whatever you're feeling is whatever you're feeling.

There is no right and wrong. Try not to put emotions on a pedestal and beat yourself up for not feeling a certain way. Meet yourself where you are and give yourself the comfort you need.

And to borrow the words of my favourite poet, Shane Koyczan:

Go down to the store

Buy some light bulbs,

And when you run out, buy some more.

Because the light at the end of your tunnel needs to be maintained.

5 things to remember when you're exhausted

I'm gonna be honest with you - I am exhausted. Things have been pretty hard lately. I've moved house, started a new job and haven't had much time for rest.

Emotionally, and physically, I'm exhausted. 

So, I wanted to share with you some things to keep at the front of your mind when you're overcome with exhaustion and you need that final push.

1. Exhaustion happens to the best of us

It's not something that happens to the weak, and it's not a trophy of our hardworking nature. It's the result of having lots of things that take priority at the same time, and not having the proper time needed to have some quality downtime. It's human. (Now breathe!)

2. There is an end

It might not be in sight right now, but there is an end to the madness. In the meantime, do whatever you can to take breaks and remember that this will soon be a distant memory.

3. It's not the best time to make big decisions

Decisions are hard enough when things are calm, let alone when there's a storm brewing. Make the decisions you need to and park the rest for finer weather.

4. Celebrate your small wins

I'm gonna keep on saying this 'till the cows come home. Split tasks into manageable chunks and take note of progress and let yourself feel good about what you're doing.

And most importantly....

5. Remember your WHY

It's easy to lose sight of the big picture when you're stressed out, exhausted and overwhelmed. Have a one minute check-in. Close your eyes and think of the three biggest reasons why you're doing what you're doing. Then march ahead.

Go keep fighting and doing what you gotta do, but please remember, if you don't take care of yourself and make yourself a priority, it ain't gonna be pretty. 

Self care is hard

There's this myth out there that self care is eeeaasy. It's like this ridiculously simple thing that needs no attention. Simple as running a bath right?

It's not easy

If this whole self care thing was easy, we wouldn't end up burnt out, exhausted and coming down with colds after stressful weeks. If self care was easy, you wouldn't have travel agents trying to get you to buy a trip to some luxury beach resort for thousands of pounds, just so you could unwind.

No, self care is hard. Maybe the act of actually doing things that make us feel good isn't typically hard (say, cuddling a furry pet, getting lost in a good book, going for a walk), but actually getting around to it and noticing it as something that's as vital as a looming deadline is.

Our lives aren't simple

There are always conflicting priorities. There's caring responsibilities, ridiculous work hours/pressure, insanely cute children, just to begin the list. All of us have so many things going on in our lives that tug us in different direction.

And when there are a million of things you could be doing, and feel that you should be doing, sometimes it's pretty hard to lay the boundaries down hard.

It's hard to make the active decision to do something that makes you feel good, even though it's naturally is going to have a positive effect on the rest.

We all know that, but it doesn't make it any easier. Not when we're in the mindset, and the habitual behaviour that our needs come last, and there's always something more important than needs doing.

So this week, I give you this challenge

When you're feeling stressed, like you're being tugged in different directions, or even if you're in one of those