An Announcement & A Commitment

So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed lately, but the online world is a pretty noisy place. I think along the way, people have become unsurprisingly pretty disillusioned. There’s always another webinar, another checklist that will CHANGE. YOUR. LIFE. There’s always another Facebook group that promises community over competition but quickly becomes about sneaky ways to promote your services.

If you’re on the receiving end, it can feel like you have twenty thousand people shouting at you all at once. If you’re on the creating end, it can feel like having to wade through mud, avoiding the bullshit and trying to find your people amongst all the people who are promising to sell happiness in a jar. And if like me -  you’re on both the creating and receiving end - you quickly pick up on just how high the levels of bullshit are.

Now, I’m very keen to not add to the bullshit.  

While I’ve been launching the Get Shit Done! Brigade, I’ve been very conscious of the fact that you get a lot of emails in your inbox and that most of these emails are pitching you products and services relentlessly.

And I really don’t want to add to the noise.

If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll have noticed that things are a bit different around here. I don’t see my ‘mailing list’ or my podcast as a ‘tool’ to get sales. I see a wonderful community of Couragemakers who I love writing to, having great conversations with, hearing from and forming a community with.

But my unwillingness to add to the noise sometimes means that I end up sabotaging both myself and the community.

I end up not telling you about the services that I’m offering because I don’t want to bombard you or make you feel pressured to buy. I end up staying quiet about the things I offer that my clients absolutely love that really change things for them. Instead of being loud and proud about finding a way of working that draws on both my superpowers and my client’s superpowers, I end up keeping myself small and end up keeping really helpful things to myself.

So I’ve decided that I’m going to do things my way and in a way that serves both of us. And that starts with an acknowledgement that feels pretty scary to type out loud (is that a thing?!)

That Hummingbird Life is both a community and a business.

Ultimately, I want to encourage as many couragemakers as possible to live a life only they can live, to put the things only they can do into the world and own, live and share their stories.  That’s what this is about. And I’m going to be continuing to do that in a way that aligns with my values and creates a sustainable income so I can do even more of this work.

Accessibility is one of my biggest values, and I am really passionate about That Hummingbird Life being as helpful as possible and not being behind a paywall. So I am always going to keep a big chunk of my work available and free (the blog, The Couragemakers Podcast, the weekly emails).

And as well as these things, I will also always have services that go deeper and take you on a journey (courses, products, online and offline experiences, coaching and mentoring) that will be sold.

Somewhere along the line, we were led to believe as heart-centred women that we had to choose between either making a change in the world or making a sustainable living.

And I think it’s time we archived that notion and put in a time capsule.

So, my commitment to you is that I am always going to be completely transparent about the process, and as as helpful as possible along the way.

When I’m launching products or services, I will create helpful and free blog posts and podcast episodes that will help you to start that journey. Obviously they won’t be diving as deep, but they’ll be great starter pieces if money is tight and as much as you would like to join, you simply can’t, or if you don’t have the time or have the inclination to dive deeper.

I will let you know exactly what is different about what I offer, who would and wouldn’t be a good fit, and I promise not to make you feel less than or use manipulative selling techniques (yuck). The things I sell will only ever be things I one hundred percent believe in and one hundred percent believe they will add value to your life.

So, in the spirit of starting as I mean to go on and also being more loud and proud about the wonderful services I offer:

here are my coaching and mentoring packages (The Epic Shit Sessions) which are all about helping you on each stage of the creative journey and doing what only you can do, and on 15th February I am starting the Get Shit Done! Brigade: 30 days of community, accountability, action and coaching to get your ideas of our your all-be-it beautiful notebooks into tangible things that exist in the world. You can find all the information about the brigade here!

Thank you for reading, thank you for allowing me (and encouraging me) to always be honest and thank you for being the most wonderful community I could hope for.

Meg

Reclaim Yourself: A Couragemaker's Guide To A Wholehearted 2018!

As long as I can remember, this whole New Year, New You shit has reduced me to rants. While the temptation to start anew is alluring, it’s just simply not possible. To paraphrase a piece on this subject I wrote a while ago, I don’t believe in reinventing yourself. To reinvent yourself is to dislocate yourself from past experiences, and  strengths and values that knowingly or not, have spent your life cultivating. But those things? They’re the very things that make you uniquely you.

Sure, some of those things you’d rather forget, habits you’d rather get rid of and experiences you wouldn’t choose to relive again, we all have them. But to image that you can just delete them as easily as pressing backspace on a keyboard and start the new year as A Completely Different And Refined Person is bollocks.

Now, I could easily go into full on rant mode, but I’m pretty sure I’m preaching to the choir. It seems this year more than ever, there are lots of us who are sick of the New Year, New Me message.

So today I want to flip the narrative and offer a practical solution:

What if instead of focusing on new shiny things, you focused on brushing off the dust and uncovering and returning to parts of yourself that have been forgotten?

As January comes around, it’s so easy to start thinking of the things we haven’t done before, new ventures and new habits. And while they’re a huge part of living a wholehearted life, they can quickly become overwhelming if we start thinking that we need to reinvent the wheel every time and that everything you do needs to be exciting, fresh and new.

In the process, we forget that we have a whole lifetime of experience that gives us clues as to what lights us up, what makes our lives better and what brings you joy.

You forget the little things that make you smile, what’s worked in the past and continues to work today.

In the age of life hacks and trying to outsmart yourself at every turn, it’s increasingly easy to overcomplicate things and get your knickers in a right twist.

So let’s go back to simple and start reclaiming who we are and uncovering parts of ourselves that got lost along the way of trying to hack the fuck out of a living a more creative, authentic and wholehearted life.

Here are some questions that have really helped me, and to help, I’ve included my answers below as examples.

Question 1: What did you used to enjoy as a child?

(I know, you’re sick of this question, but if you answer it properly once, it might give you some insights as to how to combine your passions and how to bring a whole lot more joy to your life)

Being loud and making a mess! I’ve always loved creating things whether it’s little books, or that period of creating Orlando Bloom stationary I went through. I loved singing at the top of my lungs, anything that involved making things with my hands and I also really loved nerding out and learning things. I also always had a book on the go, was a regular at my library and would often get lost in making up stories which looking back, were pretty philosophical!

Now, how can you bring some of that back into your life?

I think the main thing here is working with my hands. I started dabbling in mixed media last year, really enjoyed it, especially when creating for the fun of it. Maybe I can add a weekly creative night to my calendar and just enjoy getting mucky and playing. Singing wise, while living with Mr. Meg’s family, I have to be mindful that no everyone wants to hear me belt out ‘Jolene’ at the top of my lungs (and I mean belt out). But maybe in the period before we move out this year, I can start to sing in the shower more, and really make the most of times on my own where I can really belt it out! As for reading books, I really started to enjoy getting back into fiction last year, but ended up back on nonfiction again. I’ve just started re-reading the Harry Potter series, and maybe this year will be a great one for holding myself accountable to reading before bed and always trying to have a fiction book on the go! I forgot how satisfying (and recharging) reading is over watching Netflix.

What about you? How can you start to bring back the things you loved doing from your childhood? I bet the magic is still there!

Question 2: When you look back on last year, what do you wish you’d done more of?

Ahh the power of hindsight being 20:20. This one I’ve been thinking about a lot over the past week - I wish I had been more conscious of what I consumed rather than getting stuck into the time, energy and soul suck that comes with endless scrolling. There are so many interesting topics I want to learn more about, that I DO have the time to learn more about if I could get really picky about what I choose to read, the apps I open and the amount of time spent on busy work.

I also would have loved to have laughed and danced more. Last year felt like a pretty serious year, and fun definitely wasn’t a priority. There are few things I love more in life besides laughing until my belly aches and dancing until my feet feel like they might fall off. Sadly that didn’t happen much last year, so this will be a big priority this year!

I also wish I’d been on more walks in nature because I know how good they are for my creativity and my mental health and walk mean dogs, which means JOY!

How can you bring some of that back into your life?

I’m tempted to open my calendar and start to schedule everything out, but I know that will get overwhelming pretty quickly and a scheduled life for me isn’t a happy life.

I think putting a reminder somewhere might help the most. I’m going to write the following on a postcard and put it somewhere I can see it:

Make A Mess. Use Your Hands. Read. Consume Consciously. Laugh. Dance. Go for walks.

Question 3:  How can you add more of what you love to your life?

Now, by this time, you might find that your answers start to repeat yourself. That’s a good thing - it will help you to start spotting patterns and start figuring out the things that bring you most joy and will make the most difference to your life. Repeat yourself to your heart’s content, and start noticing what keeps coming up!

First start by listing your loves:

My loves in life - where do I begin?! Bright colours, a song with a great beat, Mr. Meg (of course!), my family, creating, art shops, stationary, getting lost in a good book, dogs, Macklemore, spoken word poetry, feeling the wind in my hair, getting out in nature, napping, learning new things, singing, dancing, laughing, deep conversations, helping people, brainstorming, thinking of new ideas, writing, designing, dreaming, daydreaming, birdsong, glitter, hot chocolates (or anything chocolate!), live gigs, meeting new people, making art.

Now what ideas do you have for adding the the things you love to your daily life? List them out!

Spend some time on Spotify discovering new music

Make sure my nails are always painted bright colours so I feel more like me

Keep a book on the go and keep a list of the books other people recommend to me

Have a lunch break! (I always forget and I’m not proud of it). Lunch break can be used for walks, listening to performance poetry and TED talks

Make time for daydreaming, it’s really important

Start looking for events that can bring more laughter, joy and dancing to my life

Get in a creative mess at least once a week - paint on my hands brings me back to myself like nothing else

What’s on your list?

Now, all of these things and these questions seem deceptively simple.

And that’s because they are.

Bringing more joy, more fun and more YOU to your life isn’t rocket science, because you have everything you need inside you already.

Get in the DeLorean and play Sherlock in your own life. Look for the clues, see what keeps coming up, and take notice.

Be the wonderfully odd version of yourself you have always been, and incorporate the things that have brought you joy in the past.

It’s not frivolous, it’s not selfish and it’s not silly.

It’s necessary for living an inspired and creative life that only you can live.

Creatives: Just Keep Baking Bread

This is a tale about making bread.

But it’s not really about making bread.

It’s about keeping going when you don’t feel like you’re making a difference, when you think that no one in the world cares about your work, when you’re not sure where you’re heading and you don’t think your work is good enough.

Bread?

Now, assuming you haven’t been living under a rock, you know roughly how to make bread even if you don’t do it, have never done it or just don’t really give a shit (count me in that third category).

And unless you’re an artisanal baker that can debate the process of making bread for hours, I think we can all agree that there are four main stages to making bread (get the ingredients, remember the yeast, mix and bake)

But did you know there’s a fifth step? One that has has everything to do with the life of being a creative, putting yourself out into the world and keeping going?

Intrigued? Well, we’re going to get there soon, but first, to really understand it, we need to map the first four stages with the creative process:

Step One:

Assemble the ingredients (the basic things you need to create: your pen, your paints, your laptop, your modelling clay, your ukelele, your camera, your notebook - whatever you use.

Step Two:

Add yeast - the easiest thing to forget (when it comes to creating, the yeast is the thing that makes your work uniquely you: your stories, your experiences, your perspectives, your interpretations, your skills, your strengths, you preferences, your curiosity, your craft)

Step Three:

Mix everything together until it resembles dough (the bit you don’t like talking about quite so much: doing the damn work, sitting with an idea until it makes sense, the hard graft, getting our hands dirty and wondering if everything will ever come together)

Step Four:

Put it in a container inside the oven and let it cook (this is when your work starts to take its form - a story, book, poem, painting, sketch, photograph, model, patchwork quilt, song - and it starts to be ready to exist in the world as a thing that didn’t exist before

The fifth stage?

This is what happens to the bread once it has been baked. And it’s where things get interesting...

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An aside before we get to the deceiving fifth step - I know that the first four steps aren’t easy. Sometimes the hardest thing can be getting the motivation and the courage to start baking in the first place. Sometimes you’ll buy the ingredients but not bake bread for a while. Sometimes you’ll give up at the dough stage and put it in the bin, believing that it just isn’t going to come together. And sometimes you’ll go through the process and we forget the yeast and the bread won’t rise. I know this is hard. If you’re struggling with bread-making resistance or having the courage to start, you might want to have a read of this and this ).

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Now, back to our process and the the deceiving fifth step.

I mean, everything until then seems pretty simple. . The bread is baked, the hard work is done, there’s fresh bread on the table and life feels goooood.

Well, not so fast.

Introducing the little talked about last step:

Step Five: What happens when the bread is brought to life

Sometimes you get so focused on making the bread, that you forget that stage five can be the ultimate decider of whether you decide to bake ever again.

It can be the deciding factor of whether you let anyone taste your bread again, whether you put all of your ingredients in the bin and decide never to even try to make bread again, or come to the decision that your yeast will never be good enough and your bread won’t ever rise like you wanted it to so what even is the point?

Basically a shit tonne of things happen during this stage that we don’t really talk about as creatives.

Step five is ultimately about whether you continue creating. It’s about your life as a creative and it’s about whether you put the things only you can do into the world, or whether you convince yourself that the world doesn’t need what you have to offer.

(Spoiler alert: it really really does. We all need the things only you can do).

A LOT is at stake here.

There are a lot of things that can happen to bread once you’ve taken it out of the oven.

Maybe:

• Your bread is delicious, you eat it all yourself (and you thoroughly enjoy every mouthful).

• You decide that regardless of how the bread turns out, you are in LOVE with the process of making bread

• You share your bread with friends and they love it

• You put your bread in the bread bin and look forward to eating it later and feel satisfied knowing it’s there

• Your bread is so good that you get asked to make it for family and friends and start wondering whether it’s worth thinking about selling it at your local farmer’s market

• You bring your bread to an event and it and every breadcrumb is eaten

• You decide your bread is good but you’ve got ideas of how it can be even better and get started on making a new loaf straight away

• You share your bread often and start getting recognised as someone who makes good bread which makes you feel great

• You decide to put your bread in the freezer so you can enjoy it later and go back to it another time

These are the things you know you want deep down, and it takes courage to admit to them out loud. These things might actually prevent you from baking bread in the first place, because you’re so intent on making great bread that it just puts you off.

Or maybe (and I think it’s fair to say that you worry about these things the most):

• Your bread just doesn’t rise

• You share your bread with friends and they say they love it, but you know they’re not actually a huge fan

• You leave your bread in the oven for too long and it burns

• Your brain is just alright, nothing special, nothing to write home about

• You share your bread and no one eats it

• You put your bread in the bread bin

• You get your bread out of the oven and it hasn’t risen

• You take your bread to a party and never find out if anyone ate it or what they thought

• You bake bread for a special occasion and the reaction is underwhelming to say the least

• You put the bread in the bread bin, and forget it’s there and it goes stale

I mean, that list alone is enough to make anyone never bake bread again. But please, bare with me, don’t close the tab. It gets better, I promise..

What if you could take the pressure off, even a little bit?

What if you reframed the whole art of baking bread?

What if you decided that the process of making the bread was more important than the outcome?

What if you decided to focus less on the bread-eaters and take back some of that power?

What it making bread for yourself was the main aim and the rest was bonus?

What if you took your stale bread and used it to make something else (bread and butter pudding? croutons for soup?)

What if you took your burned bread and put it outside and gave it to the birds?

What if you decided that the people who need your bread will find it?

What if you decided that your recipe was special despite what bread-haters may have to say?

What if, instead of giving it one, two or three shots, you kept going, continually improving and believing that each loaf has a lesson to teach you?

Because here’s the thing, bread-makers. Listen up.

This is where you need to get that hard crust sorted.

Not all of your bread is going to be good. Sometimes it won’t rise, sometimes it won’t make it to the oven, sometimes you will forget about it and it will go mouldy, and sometimes people won’t like it.

Sometimes you’ll make the best loaf ever and find that you can’t replicate it. Sometimes you’ll repeat the process with surprising results. Sometimes you will wonder if you should bother baking at all.

Sometimes, the art of baking will set your soul on fire and you will know exactly why you bake, and know that regardless of how it comes out, you were born to bake.

Sometimes you will share your loaf and it will change your life and someone else’s life.

Sometimes you won’t know why you bake, but you’ll carry on anyway.

Sometimes you will forget just how much baking is part of you until you remember it again.

This is the life of a baker.

And here are some truths.

If you decide it’ll probably be shit before you’ve even begun, there’s a good chance it will be, because you’re not giving yourself the chance to let go. Explore what it could be and see what happens.

If your sole definition of success is whether people like your bread, then you will fail. You risk everything if you create just for the bread-eaters. You risk your integrity, you risk compromising your yeast and you risk losing yourself along the way. There will be people who simply can’t get enough of your bread and that’s great  - but remember, you don’t have to change the recipe for them.

You have to find a reason for baking bread beyond things that makes your ego feel good. And if you’re making bread, or even thinking of making bread in the first place, then you have a deeper reason. Go find it.

Finding it is what will keep you baking on the hard, lonely days when you feel like no one cares about your baking and you’re not making a difference.

Because you also won’t always get to see who eats your bread and who likes your bread

You won’t always get to see the breadcrumbs you leave and where they lead people.

You won’t get to see all of the lives you’ve changed - in big, small and medium ways.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

I know you’re practical, I know you want to always be able to see results, and I know you need evidence, but sometimes you have to take the most pragmatic part of your brain and shake it up a bit.

Because part of being a baker is trusting.

Trusting that if it doesn’t rise today, it will rise tomorrow.

Trusting if that people don’t like you bread, then maybe you’ve yet to find your people.

Trusting that no one can make bread the way you do

Trusting that you’re leaving behind breadcrumbs which are slowly changing the world.

Even if you take nothing else away from this very far fetching bread analogy, take this:

All you can do is keep making bread, keep putting it on the table and trust that the people who are hungry for the bread that you alone can make will come and grab a slice and leave crumbs along the way.

Keep mixing, keep baking, keep creating.

Whatever you do, just keep making the bread.

Because your bread? The way you bake it?

It changes the world even though you can’t always see it.

Make the bread. Put it on the table, and go make more dough.

That is the life of a baker.

“The art of bread making can become a consuming hobby, and no matter how often and how many kinds of bread one has made, there always seems to be something new to learn.” -- Julia Child

** The bread analogy was inspired by a wonderful conversation I had with Rebecca Thering for The Couragemakers Podcast on the topic of believing that you make a difference even if you can’t see the breadcrumbs you leave or who picks them up, and also the importance of taking the time to thank people who inspire you.

Fuck Dreamshitters: A Manifesto for Couragemakers

You do not owe anything to anyone, regardless of how they make you feel otherwise. You do not owe anyone an explanation for who you are or how you live your life. That decision is up to you alone.  

You will change. You will go through experiences that alter and develop the fundamentals of who you are. That’s life - that is how you grow and develop as the person only you can be.

It is not up to you to be the person you were ten years ago, five years ago or two years ago. It is not your role to be frozen in time like a snow globe. You will outgrow people, people will outgrow you, and that is the nature of life. Do not put yourself in the snow globe to keep other people happy. The people who want to keep you exactly as you were should buy a doll and keep it at the back of their closet.

It is not your job to make other people happy. End of.

You do not have to be polite. When you see the girl who made you feel about as big as a thimble from high school, you do not have to smile and make pleasantries. You get to walk away with your head held high or say what you wish you’d said back then (you know when you come up with the perfect response two years too late?!).

You do not have to engage with people who make you feel shit.

You get to keep your distance with or without explanation. You do not owe old friends a response, you do not owe your old boss your company for a round of drinks and you do not owe your time and energy to anyone who makes you feel like shit.

In fact, you do not owe anyone any part of you. Your time and energy are two of the most precious things you will ever have. Protect them. Fiercely.

You do not have to engage in keeping up with the Joneses with anyone. It is a futile exercise which wastes your precious energy, time or money on making yourself seem impressive.

Happiness cannot and never will be found in making other people feel less than or puffing your chest out and pretending like you are better than everyone else.

Accept that some people however do find so-called joy in belittling and stepping on other people.

Put a fucking continent between yourself and those people, because it will never end well. Remember,  it is not your responsibility to try to change them or make them see the light.

Some people are bitter and will not see the light, but will seek out company to join their bitter parade - misery loves company after all.

Sometimes your compassion will run out, and sometimes deservedly so. There’s only so much compassion you can have for someone who makes you feel less than, drains your energy and provides nothing positive in return. While some yogis would like you to feel compassion for every man and his dog, it’s just not possible. Don’t feel bad.

Some people will test your patience more than you ever thought possible. You do not need those people. Again, they are not personal pet projects to take on, especially when they show no signs of self-awareness or wanting to change.

You get to walk away from the people who drain your energy, intimidate you or make you feel bad. Sometimes ghosting someone is the only thing you can do to protecting your own sanity and stand up for yourself. Some people thrive from conflict, and sometimes silence is the loudest sound. Protect yourself.

When life seeks to hide your brightness, do what you can to keep your own candle lit.

In toxic situations, sing louder, stand taller - even if it’s only on the inside. No one can suck the soul out of you. There are people who will feel like dementors, but know that they need your permission to suck your soul out of you.

Find the things that feed your soul and do them regularly. Don’t worry what other people would think about them - if standing on one leg singing Auld Lang Syne is your jam, bloody do it. It’s your life. Nourish yourself, feed your soul and know that you have the power and the strength to keep your own light lit.

Know that everyone and their pet dog will have an opinion on every aspect of your life.

You get to say Fuck That and ignore them. You get to decide what you do and don’t listen to.

Some people will never understand you.They will never understand your motivations, your quirks or the things that make your heart beat faster. That is okay. Do what you can to find like-minded people and keep them close.

Do not pander to the people who want to put you into a box. And don’t apologise for not fitting into a box. Don’t feel bad and simplify yourself to make yourself understandable to others. Cast aside the mould and embrace your complexities, knowing that your whole being will never be able to fit into one word, one image or one glance.

You have opinions, you have experiences, you have stories that have shaped who you are. You get to tell those stories. You get to tell them how you want to tell them, and you get to keep the bits you don’t want to share.

Your story is important and needed in the world.

Do not dumb down your story or skip over the messy bits to make people feel comfortable. It is not your responsibility to make people comfortable or reassured.

Some truths are fucking ugly. Some life experiences are ugly.  You do not have to paint a pretty picture. Your picture gets to be as messy as you fucking well like it. It is not up to you to make your life seem comfortable to spare other people’s feelings.

You also get to keep the parts you’d rather not share to yourself. In life, there are some stories aren’t yours to tell and that’s okay too. Don’t burn bridges when you’re angry and never send that email when blood is pulsing through your veins. Sleep on it is a saying for a reason.

Don’t play down your strengths and talents to make other people feel better. Own and hone what you’re good at and accept compliments with grace.

Your work is important, whatever the form that work takes. If you’re a creative, your art form and how you express yourself is your work. If you’re unemployed or aren’t able to work due to health issues, know that employment is only one form of work, and is not a source of life-validation.

Celebrate the shit out of your small wins.

You do not have to be a ‘good’ woman. You get to take up space.

You get to play big. You do not have to keep yourself small. You do not have to be quiet about your opinions or stay apolitical. Be loud and proud about what you believe and why.

You are you. There is only one of you. That is really fucking amazing and the world needs what only you can bring to it.

Chase your dreams and drown out the bullshit.

And fuck dreamshitters.

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Like what you just read?  Every Sunday I send a free weekly Pep Talks to hundreds of like-minded Rebel Rousers packed full of more encouragement than you can shake a stick at. Click here to find out more and join us!

An Open Letter To All Creatives Struggling With Self-Doubt

Okay, Couragemakers who struggle with self-doubt, listen up. Sometimes on this creative and dream chasing journey, we all need reminders which are a bit more of a kick up the ass.

Today is one of those days.

So here’s the thing:

If you are looking for evidence that you’re shit, you’re going to find it. 

If you're looking for evidence that you should just stop and not bother, again, you’re going to find it. If you’re looking for evidence that you have nothing to say and you’re a fraud, you’re going to find it.

If you’re looking for a reason not to write another word, paint another stroke or create another community event or whatever brilliant shit you do - you, my friend, are going to find it.

But here’s the really important thing. That doesn’t mean it’s actually there, or it’s real.

Self-doubts are a bunch of pernicious little fuckers.

They worm their way into each crack. They find a way to get in even with a million rolls of duct tape covering the hole. They do everything they can in their power to try to stop you writing another word, stop you from showing your work to the world and putting yourself out there.

Truth, by the way, doesn’t come into it when it comes to self-doubt.

They exist in order for your brain to try to keep you safe from danger and not take risks. But we’re not cave people anymore.

Unless you’re taking a Wild inspired trip alone, chances are that you’re not being hunted and your brain can calm the fuck down a little.

I know, I know, that’s easier said than done.

But let’s take a step back, okay? And instead let’s focus on imagination instead - your wonderful imagination.

Your ability to create stories, your ability to paint the world with your experiences, ideas and your memories.

And those things are incredible. However, as Ben Parker tells us in Spiderman, ‘with great power comes great responsibilities’.

Yes, you can create things only you can do that make the world a brighter place, but the flip side of your wonderful creative brain is your refined skill of being able to conjure up some pretty nasty hypothetical situations, that keep you down.

It’s amazing if you think about it - your imagination gives you the ability to try to predict the words that will come out of other people’s mouths before the topic of conversation even exists. You can picture yourself failing before you’ve even started.

So let’s go back to that responsibilities bit. The bit where you have responsibilities to yourself.

Because, my friend - if you focus your attention to possibility instead of failure, you’re going to find a huge heap of completely contrary evidence.

If you take those same critical skills and start looking for the polar opposite, you’re going to find a mountain of good shit.

And that’s your responsibility:

To find and create the stories where you find the evidence that in fact you can do it, and you should keep going.

To flip the narrative and give self-doubt the middle finger.

I know fear feels scary. I know that feeling of putting yourself on trial for being a fraud. I know that the stories feel very real indeed.

But they’re only as real as you let them be.

So go grab Watson and go get serious about finding the evidence that you can do it, that you’re uniquely qualified to do the work you do, and that you have something to say.

And like any good detective, record every single piece of evidence you find, no matter how small. Write yourself a note when you’re working on a project and feel like you’re on fire, take screenshots of any great feedback you receive and take time to check your evidence regularly.

Couragemaker - the world needs what you have to say.

And I happen to know that you have a hell of a lot to say.

I'd love to know how you deal with self-doubt! Let me know in the comments!

What If? Flipping Fear On Its Head & Telling Self-Doubt to Fuck Off

When I was 22, I watched something that made me feel understood in a way that I had never felt understood before that moment. It was a two-part documentary on young people who were living and struggling with OCD -  just like me. The series focused on an OCD bootcamp, with participants coming out of their comfort zones and seeing if treatment could be beneficial.  

But there was one scene in particular that has stuck with me.

In this scene, the group are sat around a bonfire, and the leader hands everyone a temporary tattoo to wear on their wrist. The tattoo is question mark and the point is this: remind yourself regularly, what If?

Now, if you know someone who has OCD or if you’ve struggled/struggle with OCD, you’ll know the level of creativity and thought that goes into thinking of worse case scenarios, imagining how wrong things could end up and how relentless those thoughts could be.

So at the time, this whole tattoo thing sounded pretty counter-intuitive and a bit fucking cruel.

But then I started to see it the other way.

There’s a flip side of the question. A flip side that asks you to engage in the tantalising idea of something actually working out and actually happening for the better.

A flip side that I hadn’t even considered. What if something bad didn’t happen? What if something great happened?

Mind. Blown.

Over the years, my OCD has ebbed and flowed in its severity and its relentlessness, and I’ve started to see this What If question in a much larger context than just me and my OCD.

One I’m sure you can relate to.

A context of putting yourself out in the world, saying your dreams out loud, creating things and trying to make the world a brighter place.

And here’s what I started to realise.

Everyone gets scared when it comes to trying or even wanting to put good shit into the world - especially when it includes a huge dollop of you.

As a creative doer, maker and world shaker, you have a huge imagination. A huge far-reaching imagination that can conjure up all types of scenarios where you think you could really fuck up.

You ask yourself, what if it fails? What if it doesn’t work out? What if it isn’t good enough? What if everyone hates me? What if I hear crickets? What if I’m not good enough? What if I fail? What if I have to start over?

What if, what if, what if.

So today I invite you to the other side.

Let’s leave the fear of

the Death Eaters and join

the hope of Dumbledore’s

Army instead.

What if you are good enough? What if you are the only person who can really do this? What if you do have something incredibly valuable to say?

What if you create the thing that the world needs? What if you succeed? What if people turn up because you’re saying the exact thing they need to hear? What if your dreams could happen and you started to chase them?

What if instead of falling flat on your face, you fly? What if your vision comes alive? What if the work you so long to do could make you a sustainable living? What if there’s more to life and you’ve been right all along? What if you can find a way to balance your limitations with what really lights you up?

What if you could make the world a brighter place? What if you could face the self-doubt and stand tall? What if that tribe you’ve always wanted could exist?

What if?

It all starts with those two deceptively simple words.

Taking them to heart with a bit of self belief and really intentionally asking yourself, what if?

It all starts with a new lens and a scoop of courage.

And it all starts with you.

What if, my friend. What if?

When Dream Chasing Goes Wonky

I wrote a lot about dream chasing before me and Mr. Meg left for our three-month trip around the US. About the big pause, about the not so glamorous side of dream chasing and about the need to write your own adventure story.

Now it’s time to talk about when dreams becomes reality and when dream chasing goes wonky.

I’m sharing this because I’ve always been truthful, even if it’s been hard to say.  I’ve felt embarrassed (I’ve got over that) and struggled with the feeling that this is self-indulgent shit and I should just shut up and be grateful.  But I think we really do gloss over aspects of dream chasing, especially the taboo of what happens when things don’t go as planned. And I’m hoping that in sharing my struggles, there might be something in here that helps you.

I’ve been putting off finishing it and publishing it because I’ve been waiting for some kind of life lesson to emerge, some kind of resolution, some sort of ‘ta-da’ moment. But there isn’t. On a recent Couragemakers podcast episode Meaghan Gallant talked about the damage of not seeing the stories of failure and instead only seeing the stories of people who’ve struggled when they reached the other side.

So this, friends, is my inbetween-ness. 

Right Now

I’ve been back from the US for just under a three months now, and now feels like a good time to sit down and reflect on our trip and  what dream chasing has looked like along the way. My hope is that this bullshit-free look at dream chasing and what happens when things go wonky will inspire you to chase down your dreams and hold on tight, because I can tell you, no matter what dream you’re chasing, it will be one hell of a ride.

Right now I should be enjoying exploring Vietnam with Mr. Meg. After our three-month trip around the US, we were scheduled to spend the next six months travelling around South East Asia: India, Thailand, Vietnam, Laos and Cambodia, ending in Bali.

Instead I’m back in London with a very much drained bank account, and staying put until at least July while we’re figuring out our next steps. I really missed working on That Hummingbird Life while I was away and I’m really looking forward to the time I have to focus on the work that lights me up, getting things more set up and being more creative.

But obviously, I am gutted that I’m not in Asia right now, but I’m learning that slow and steady is the way to go, even when the future looks completely uncertain.

We can get it wrong

I’ve learned a shitload in the last four months. About dream-chasing, about myself, about humanity, how to sleep in a room with beetles pinned to a canvas to name a few.

But the biggest thing I’ve learned is that we can want things as much as a human possibly could ever want something, and we can get it and be completely confused.

(The second biggest lesson is that I’m learning every day in new ways every day is that life never goes as planned and life has a way of throwing you surprises at every turn. A lesson that I thought I learned before but keeps coming back to bite me.)

We can decide that our life is going to be a certain way, be 254% sure that it’s going to be the right choice for us and what will ultimately make us happy, and we can be wrong.

If you asked me six months ago how my life would look, I would have looked you straight in the eye and told you without a hesitation of certainty that I would definitely be spending the next five years of my life travelling. I would have told you that travelling would be my way of life, that I never wanted to live out of anything bigger than a backpack and that stability is overrated.

Skip forward, and despite having a drained bank account and a very empty itinerary which makes our Asia trip impossible at the moment, my answer would be very different.

Instead, I would tell you (over a hot chocolate, of course):

• The reality of doing a three month trip around the US followed by a six month trip to Asia back to back and ENJOYING it would have been ridiculous. While fun, travelling, being on the move and being aware of your surroundings at all times is exhausting.

• Travelling around the US soley by public transport is mentally and physically draining, and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who had dreams of a roadtrip. Unless you wanted an average day on that road trip to include helping a drunk man off the floor of a bus and having the whole bus stop while you have to fill out a ‘Passenger Witness Statement’.

• From a UK stance, we only get to see the great bits of the US on the TV, and the reality is very much different. Ignoring politics and gun laws, the levels of inequality, poverty and homelessness are astounding and horrific. You see so much more when you’re not ferried around in a car.

• The novelty and romanticism of living just in Bnbs wears off, especially when you just want to guilt-fee veg out and cook a huge meal without being judged.

• Huge rucksacks and buses do not mix. At least not in the States. People will look at you you came via a spaceship.

• Being a public spectacle everywhere you go isn’t fun. Especially when you’re eating pasta from a plastic container standing outside TJ Maxx because a) you can’t find a bench and b) you can’t afford to eat at a restaurant because you’re on such a low budget.

• Some people think it’s okay to hang a home made canvas with HUGE beetles pinned (like a pin board!!) to it in a room they let on Air bnb. I STILL haven’t got over this one.
• Scam artists sometimes tell you to go fuck yourself if you don’t return their high five.

But I wouldn’t know any of those things if I didn’t chase down my first dream of going to the US.

And I wouldn’t know these incredible truths:

• You can spend every day for 3 months with your best friend and love of your life (same person, folks), getting into weird as shit situations, getting on the wrong bus, jumping into lakes that smell of dog shit and returning closer than ever

• That to me, one of the most exciting things about New York is their INCREDIBLE dog park in Madison Square Park.

• I have the courage to jump into a pool topless and not knock myself out with my knockers

• Most people are very kind and want to help you. Even if the news acts like everyone is monsters

• Wandering into a karaoke night in a dodgy dive bar full of locals on the top of a mountain and proceeding to sing Shakira will get you very weird looks.

• If you go a gig with an audience of less than 1000 people in Vegas and Busta Rhymes shows up and you don’t know any of his songs, it's pretty fucking awkward

• Shouting I love you to the only second runner to Mr Meg (Sal from Impractical Jokers) works and is reciprocated (ahhh!)

And this list could be a hell of a lot longer. And each item on that list makes me really happy.

But here’s an even bigger truth:

Dream chasing is always going to be wonky because we’re presupposing how we’re going to feel, what we’re going to want and how things are going to go.

And the scariest thing about dream chasing is that ultimately, we don’t know how we’re going to feel when we get there.

The problem is that when we’re working our asses off trying to make our dreams a reality, we take huge risks, make huge sacrifices, and the outcome is the most important thing.

It’s the thing that keeps us going. It’s our purpose, our reason. And we spend so much time fantasising and day dreaming that it’s absolutely natural that we built up a picture in our head of how it’s going to be.

We have to believe that it’s going to be worth it. We have to believe that the end result is going to look like it does in our heads. We have to believe that it’s going to happen, come thunder or lightning.

And when it doesn’t, we have to deal with the reality of our expectations. And that’s pretty fucking tough.

The difference between expectation and intention

I read (most) of a great book while I was away called The Intention Generation by Makenna Johnston. In it, Makenna talks about the differences been expectations and intentions, and how, if we focus on our intentions instead, we’re more likely to be happy with an outcome, not disappointed.

And that’s certainly a part of it. Had I gone to the US with the intention of having adventures, coming back with stories to tell and some really random photos, then I’d have achieved every intention I set out to.

But instead I went with a huge rucksack of expectation. I expected it to be like everything I’ve ever seen that involved a road trip. I expected to find like-minded people along the way. I expected America to look how it does on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. I expected to find myself and learn the meaning of life. I expected to be addicted to living on the road and never want to do anything else ever. I expected to feel alive.

I expected it to go someway towards achieving that feeling we’re all feeling when we get wanderlust. And so much more.

But I’ve come back feeling empty, feeling pretty disillusioned and more lost than ever. None of those expectations, my friends, were met. And I am filled with such sadness that I have put off writing and publishing this post since I got back.

Grief

The only way I can come to understanding what I’m going through now and working through it, is to see it for what it is.

And that’s grief.

Grieving the loss of a huge dream. Grieving the loss of an identity. Grieving the picture in my head that didn’t play out. Grieving all of the things I sacrificed for The Big Dream and wondering if they were worth it.

So, this my friend is where I’m at right now.

While it’s easy to feel like I’m back at square 1, I know I’m not. And I’m trying not to judge myself too harshly. Because we all really are our own harshest critics

Instead I’m giving myself space for more dreams to emerge, giving myself time to make That Hummingbird Life everything I know it can be, and starting to take my future as seriously as my fears.

I don’t know what the future looks like in my personal life, I don’t know much, but I hope that some day this will all make a lot more sense than it does right now.

But here's what I do know

While dream-chasing isn’t glamourous, it often goes wonky and certainly isn’t predictable, it’s really fucking important.

It’s important to go after the things you want with your whole heart. It’s important even if it doesn’t work out. And it’s important to feel all the fears and do it anyway. Because without dreams, we’re missing out on a lifetime of memories, opportunities and experiences that we don’t even know are out there.

And we need to have more open and honest conversations about the reality of dream chasing and the struggles that come along for the ride.

There are too many books about how to have your dream life and how to accomplish your dreams, and how to be happy in 1,2,3. And not enough about what happens when things don’t go according to plan.

So here’s to filling that void!

And here’s to living, not merely existing, no matter how hard that might be.

I’d love to know about how dream chasing looks in your own life. Let me know in the comments below!

This is the scariest thing about dream-chasing

While I’ve been in the US, I’ve really learned how huge Halloween is over here. The decorations vary from pretty to over the top, the candy looks delicious and there’s definitely something in the air. I’ve definitely seen my fair share of scary skeletons, but I think there’s definitely something a lot scarier that none of us talk about, at any time of the year:

How scary life is, when it is full of chances you didn’t take, words you didn’t write, things you didn’t try and dreams you never chased.

I get it, I really do. I get the fear, the courage it takes to put yourself out there, the vulnerability in being seen, the chance of failure and the overwhelming feeling that you can’t do it.

But I think sometimes we don’t think of the actual consequences apart from the here and now of how impossible something feels, and what bad things could happen as a result of trying.

And that’s this idea of the life unlived. Not just the one thing you didn’t have the courage to do, but how they add up over a period of time, depriving you (and the world) of the amazing things you have to give and create. How they accumulate and you end up creating a life that doesn’t reflect the person you are, or the dreams and wishes you dare to dream late at night when no one’s around.

It’s a bit like ordering cheese (I don’t know why I picked cheese, I don’t know that many cheeses, but bare with me on this).

Imagine you’re a cheese connoisseur and you go up to a counter of delicious cheeses and you hand over your money,and in return, you get given the really shit cheese that comes in a tube. Even though you can see all of these fancy mature cheeses that have you salivate, you’re stuck with the one that comes in a tube for goodness sake.

While perhaps a bizarre metaphor, I think you get what I’m saying here. We have all these amazing things inside of us and yet sometimes we end up settling and getting a shit deal of it.

You would be gutted if you were a cheese connoisseur and you got tube cheese, the same way as you’d be gutted if one day you realised the fantastic person you are and how you settled for the lesser option.

Because here’s the thing: you are not tube cheese.

You are the real fucking deal. And perhaps if you can allow yourself to believe that for just a second, things could change.

I want what you have to give to the world to be in the world. I want to read your words, see your art, hear your message, watch you shine brightly as you know deep down you can.

And the world wants it to. There might be 7 billion people in the world right now, but there is only one you. And you have a shit tonne more than you could ever imagine to give the world.

And you might not know what that is yet, but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth exploring.

We all have dreams, we all have wishes, and we all have a vision for ourselves that we sometimes dare to think of. But that doesn’t mean only the lucky ones get to achieve their dreams or live the life they want to. Of course, priviledge plays a factor in everything, but convincing ourselves that only the special ones get to live the life they have in their head is dangerous. And really fucking scary.

So, this Halloween, think about the life unlived, and then think of all the possibilities of the life lived instead.

Be the girl that lived.

And if you got that Harry Potter reference, I think we need to be BFFS.

What's one thing you've been to scared to do that you're going to try? Let me know in the comments!

Dreamshitters, Standing Up For Yourself & Losing People Along The Way

There's something people don't tell you when you start to stand up for yourselves and following the beat of your drum. And that's this: often you'll lose someone along the way. Somewhere between finding your voice and dealing with dreamshitters, something changes.

You stand taller. You talk with conviction. You start to lose your people pleasing tendencies (don't worry, I'm 100% with you on this!) and you start to believe.

Believe you've got something to say. Believe you've got something to give the world. Believe that you matter. Believe that you deserve to be treated a certain way.

And that is AMAZING. Believe me.

But something else shifts as well. And that's your tolerance forbullshit.

Your eyes start to open to the people who take you for granted, the people who belittle you, and the people who don't like this new 'you'. (Except it isn't really new, that bold courageous version of you has been right in there, hiding for some time).

Some people just aren't going to be there for the ride. And sometimes those people who aren't going to be on the journey with you are the exact people you always assumed would be there.

When we start to live with our eyes open, embrace a wholehearted life and start saying yes to the dreams that scare us, we unknowingly force other people to take a long hard look at themselves.

Sometimes they don't like what they see. And they take it out on you.

So I want to assure you:

Everyone has their own shit to deal with. And every now and then, people will throw their shit at you. And it will hurt. But that doesn't mean you need to take it.

You are not responsible for the world's shit.

And no one has the right to make you feel small, or stupid, like your dreams are too big, or anything less than the fucking rockstar you are.

I get it, it's pretty scary losing people. It plays into a lot of our fears, like the fear of 'I'll never find someone else' and the fear of rejection that probably led to the person still being in your life.

So today, I want to give you a huge hug and tell you that cutting out the people in your life who make you feel like shit, might hurt at first, but you'll feel so much better afterwards.

And you'll get great new people in your life. People who see you as you are now, and root for you. People who lift you up and help you be the best version of yourself.

People who are worthy of you. 

And you might only be able to count those people on one hand. But that doesn't matter. Those people are one in a million, and it's those people to hold onto and never let go.

So let's raise our bowls of ice cream to the people who appreciate us for the fabulous people we already are.

On Dream-chasing: You have the right to feel happy

Yesterday  marked two weeks until me and Mr. Meg leave for our big adventure. Starting with three months in the US and then six months in Asia (budget permitting), we're going to be living a dream that we've thought about, obsessed about and planned for, for a very long time. I've been really honest about the process and about the not so glamorous side of dream chasing, but there's still been one thing nagging me at the back of my head. And that's this idea that I can't act too happy about it, or be too excited about it. And I think this idea of having to tone it down is huge when it comes to dream chasing. We get so bogged down with managing other people's reactions (often dreaming them up), and thinking about how other people are judging us, that when the good shit comes out way, we act like it's no big deal. (When it's a huge fucking deal).

So here's what's been going on in my head lately:

• I want to share about my adventure but I don't want to seem uber privileged and I've been really concerned about coming across like I've got everything sorted and my life is perfect. Because I don't and it's not.

• SO much stress and so much chaos but feeling like I can't talk about it because it would make me seem ungrateful

• I'm level 14757 excited, but I'm just not very good at showing it. I don't want to come across as sauntering all over the world without giving two pieces of flying monkey poo

We deserve to be happy. As creatives, as Type A or recovering Type A women, as people who are working really damn hard to put good shit in the world, we get to have happiness as well. I know so many of us work to make the world a brighter place for other people, but when something good happens, let's embrace ,

And here's the thing. We work really fucking hard to make our dreams happen. We deal with so much uncertainty, and sometimes life takes us in such a different direction that we think they're never going to happen.

And we make huge sacrifices for our dreams.

We often have to do things that break our hearts and go through periods which are really really scary.

All this is to say, when you get that bit closer to your dreams, or when you're starting to feel joy, don't be so concerned about making other people feel bad, or worrying what other people feel that you don't let yourself feel happy.

Quite frankly, the people in your life that can't be happy for you and are just shrouded with bitterness - they don't deserve to be a part of your big dream chasing adventure. You don't have to share everything with them, especially if they're dreamshitters. Find your own way to celebrate.

But if you're surrounded by people who support you, who love you and who want to see you fly, then share with them. They want to know! They want to join in the excitement with you.

I know I have such a loving and supportive community around That Hummingbird Life and The Couragemakers Podcast, and I'm excited to share my travels with you. I'm excited to share what I learn, how I grow, and all the things that I think are going to be helpful for you. I couldn't do this trip and not share it, because it's me and it's a huge dream I've been chasing for years.

So in the next week, I'm going to be sharing a really honest and detailed behind the scenes look at what it's taken to make this adventure a reality, how we've planned everything and what we've learned along the way.

You Are Not Alone: On Self Care & Being An Entrepreneur

I used to think self care was hard. Impossible even. That was until I started working for myself, started my career as a freelancers/entrepreneur/small business owner/whatever the name of the day is. Then I started to think that it was another ball game completely. Before we go any further, I want to just make sure we're on the right page here. In this post, I'm not going to be guilt tripping you about how you should be investing in yourself, and how clients can't trust you if you're not investing in yourself first. I'm not going to be telling you that you're The Worst Entrepreneur Ever if you're struggling with self care (and haven't showered in three days). And I'm certainly not going to be telling you to take a fucking bubble bath.

So breathe your sigh of relief and know you're not alone in this.

Not by a very very long shot. We're in this together, you and me. What I hope happens by the time you've finished reading this two part series , is that you feel less alone, that you have a few practical tools you can use to start to slow down those spinning plates and that you can start to quit giving yourself such a hard time.

Back when I had a steady 9-5 job, I struggled to look after myself and prioritise myself. I found it hard to switch off, I was taking so much emotional shit home from work and nothing filled my cup. There was no joy, there was no relaxing. Instead there were to-do lists, giving out my time like it was going out of fashion, and putting everyone's needs before my own.

So I started working some of that shit out, and started blogging about self care, burnout and saying no. And I started to enjoy life. I started to notice the little things again. I started to explore what makes me ridiculously happy (a good book, notebook shopping, laughing until my belly aches, long walks in the park) and I started to feel like myself.

And it felt really good.

And then things changed. I left my job, I found myself working as a self employed freelance graphic designer, started doing more work to build That Hummingbird Life into a business (in progress) and started a The Couragemakers Podcast

And life is very different.

While sometimes I catch myself feeling so grateful that Dolly Parton's 9-5 doesn't ring true, I've noticed that I'm getting caught up in so much shitty negativity. I've noticed that I'm not been very good boss to myself, that I work myself too hard, that I've gone back to putting everyone else's needs in front of my own, and that I still don't have the most realistic expectations of myself.

And I know I'm not alone in this.

You are not alone - on self care and being an entrepreneur

So many of us start working for ourselves because we want the freedom, the ability to make our own decisions and we feel that working for ourselves will allow us to contribute to the world so much more than we were before.

But for recovering Type As like me, it can be a complete and utter shit show for a while. Because while we like our lists (especially in fun notebooks), and our plans, and our schedules and our ambition, we also have huge expectations of ourselves (that we would never dream of putting onto someone else), perfectionist tendencies and we struggle to have any kind of resemblance of work-life balance.

We work until we're ill, we get ill and we don't tell our clients (if we have them) because we don't want to let them down and we get worse, more cranky and more stressed, and life becomes hell.

We continuously beat ourselves up for not being able to achieve everything we set out to do in one day, completely ignoring the fact that the list probably wasn't achievable in the first place.

We start to look around us and start to believe that we're the only ones struggling because everyone has these beautiful photos of their office, everyone seems to be making more money than us and everyone seems to have their shit together. (Spoiler alert, they definitely do not).

We start thinking that we have to work every minute of every day, we start to get cranky with our loved ones because they just don't understand and we have a never ending to do list running circles in our brains like a Rick Astley song.

And this ends up in a horrible, horrible cycle.

A cycle of pushing ourselves too hard, reaching exhaustion, feeling guilty and continuing to push ourselves even though we don't feel like we physically can.

And it's nothing like that idea we had in our head. The idea of being in a mode of endless creativity, joy and freedom. Taking breaks and being liberated from our desks.

And that makes us feel even worse. And like we've failed.

No, I'm not reading your brain, I'm just in the trenches with you. This is some really hard shit to deal with. And you are not alone.

In becoming your own boss, you no longer have a job. Whether you're a creative, a freelancer, or small business owner, you have to run the whole show. Even if you do outsource, you have to oversee everything and make sure everything's happening. And if you don't outsource and it's not a possibility for you right now (raising my hand high in the air), you have to become an expert at administrative tasks, marketing, social media, product development, client management, project management and about a million other things.

That's huge fucking responsibility. Especially when for the most part you have no one checking to make sure you've done everything and it's completely up to you. You're essentially juggling so many plates that it might be worth trying out for Cirque du Soleil.

Yet not many people get how hard you have to work.

They don't realise how much pressure you're under and how much you have to do.

So before I share some practical things in the next post, I want to talk real, person to person. Because I have a feeling you need to hear this today.

You are not on your own. Even though you might feel like you're drowning, you're not. You are working as hard as you can. Everything you want to achieve is possible, but the journey might be slightly different than you imagined. You have so many skills and you're doing a killer job at combining them. You are really really appreciated, even if you don't feel it right now. Your work matters. But more importantly, you matter. And because you matter, something has to give. You have everything inside you that you need to put your vision into the world. And you need to extend your compassion that you have for the world and for your clients to yourself. Because there's only one of you. And that makes you a pretty fucking precious human being. A human worth loving and taking care of.

So for part one, I want you to read that reminder as many times as you need to. And really take it in. Because you're doing great. And you deserve some compassion.

Even though it might feel like it, none of us have our shit together. So let's let our shit hang out together.

I look forward to seeing you in Part Two next week, where I'm going to be sharing LOTS of practical tips, things for you to try out and things that have helped me.

I'd love to know if this post resonated with you. Let me know in the comments and let's start getting some of this out in the open!

Dream Chasing & The Big Pause

Lately I've been getting really honest about the not so glamorous side of dream chasing, and how my life is changing now I'm actively seeking to be the woman who chases adventures instead of passively wanting to write about these women. And I want to touch upon something I've not really talked a huge amount about. And that's how the last year and a half, waiting for this dream of travelling the world to happen has been.

For this last year since I gave up my house with Mr. Meg and moved into our inlaws, I feel like I've been stuck on pause.

Waiting desperately for our time to come, counting down the months, wondering what we're going to do, planning this, researching that, and somewhere along the lines I forgot to live.

I decided that it was okay to bury myself in graphic design work because I need to save to be able to go. It was okay that I didn't go out and make loads of new friends in London because we're probably never going to be living here again. It was okay that me and Mr. Meg didn't do all of the things we wanted to do because we needed rest and time to recuperate after the stress of the last couple of years.

Preparing for Dream Chasing & The Big Pause

I often find myself thinking that it's been much needed solitutude and time for myself. Because the next year is going to be jam packed and personal space and solitude will be a rarity. And that I need this time right now to put my head down and just get on with it, in order to make my next year possible.

But another part of me think's that's bullshit.

That it's an excuse I've given myself. Because sometimes I'm really scared of the world. Because everything feels too much, and some days it's hard enough getting out of bed, let alone walking into a crowded room full of strangers.

And because I'm really fucking tired. I'm exhausted and somewhere along the line, I let my life become this never ending to-do list. And all the pressure I put on myself was down to me.

And that reality is hard to swallow.

In all honesty, partly because I feel ashamed. And another part of me feels shit scared about the year ahead when I think about the last year.  I  worry if I'll have the energy, if I'll be able to stay present, if I'll have fun - anything and everything.

I've been stuck in this notion that it's either A or B. I didn't stop to consider the other 24 letters of the english alphabet. Instead, I limited my life to two distinct and unhealthy scenarios. Fully on, or fully off.

And that's not possible. Because fully on 24/7 gets me burned out really quickly, and fully off sends me into the dark hole of depression.

And whether it's being burned out or depressed, I'm not good to anybody like that, let alone myself. It's not good for my health, my wellbeing, my creativity and it's not good for Mr. Meg, for my family, for my friends and for the work that I do.

And it’s a hard lesson to learn. And one I’m sure I’ll keep learning.

I know I’m far from alone in this situation. I think so many of us are so caught up in longing for something, longing to be that person, longing to have that adventure, that we miss out on the current adventure in our life.

Because life happens in the little moments. And not every moment is an adventure. But we do get to determine what some of those little moments look like.

It doesn’t have to be A or B, it can be a creative combination of a million different things. We don’t have to spend our days like we’re waiting for the bus, or in the hospital waiting room.

So here's to living, whatever that looks like. To some days saying fuck you to our comfort zones, and for other days to gently come to the edge and peek your head out to see if you can do it.

I'd love to know if you can relate in the comments!

The Not So Glamorous Side of Dream Chasing

A quick aside before I begin - I just want to say that I'm not meaning to sound ungrateful, or like I have a rod stuck up my ass. When I started That Hummingbird Life, I made a commitment to myself that I would always be honest (maybe sometimes a bit too honest) and this post is living proof of that. It only struck me lately, that I've been writing about dream-chasing for a long time here, and not really shared about my own right-at-this-minute experience of chasing my own dreams.

To provide an elevator length version of the background and where I'm at right now, it looks something like this:

In January 2015, me and Mr. Meg left our house in lovely house in Cardiff. I was in a job that sucked the soul out of me and left me a shell of who I was and Mr. Meg left a job that wasn't good for him at all. We attempted to give away and get rid of most of the things we own (we still have a storage unit that desperately needs attention!) and moved into Mr. Meg's parent's house to save up to go travelling. We leave in August (just less than three months) and will be away until next May. And for once, we don't have a plan of what our future is going to look like after that.

So, now we're all up to speed, I want to get really honest and vulnerable about how dream-chasing in action is looking right now.

Because I think a huge part missing out of the whole dream-chasing dialogue is how difficult it is and how you often feel terrified though logic tells you that you should be jumping up and down with excitement.

We've all read about the is-it-too-good-to-be-true? stories of dream chasing. And we've all read about the amazing experiences people have had and how it has helped them grow. But sometimes I think we deliberately gloss over the less glamorous/exciting parts because somehow it will burst this vision, or bubble we have that is keeping us motivated right now.

It would be SO easy to fill my Instagram feed with pictures of my rucksack (which is beautiful FYI, and I may have posted a picture of it the day I got it, but I certainly didn't flat-lay it!), excited faces, doodles of travel plans, screenshots of tickets booked, pre and post flight selfies, pretty cups of hot hot chocolates with travel books and journal pages about how happy I am.

And I could make it out that I have this amazing life that everyone in the world should be jealous of, and that I have my shit together, and that I'm happier than I've ever been.

And it would be SO easy.

But it would also be a huge lie.

And I'm not into the art of scamming people.

I would much rather post a picture of my unmade bed and my four-day old dry hair shampooed hair than a photo that paints my life as something it isn't.

So I want to let you in behind the scenes. It's not glamorous, you'll probably be a bit disappointed and you might judge me.

But I want to show the very real different sides of dream chasing and share my journey with you.

What I'm feeling right now

•  I am feeling completely overwhelmed. I have a lot of shit to do before I go. That includes, but certainly isn't limited to: editing 60 podcast episodes, managing my graphic design business and making sure we have enough money coming in for the trip, sorting out our possessions in London and having a good clear out of the things we have in storage, trying to see as much as I can of loved ones before we go, and trying to create a sustainable business plan for That Hummingbird Life which will allow me to do this (e.g what I love) full time.

• And I'm feeling bad about being overwhelmed (see below for the list of things I feel like I should be feeling!) and not ecstatic over the moon excited.

•  I'm beating myself up about not seeing my family and friends as much I'd like to before I go

•  I'm worrying about how I'm going to cope being away from them for so long, especially as my grandparents are very elderly and have unpredictable health challenges and I've always been there for my family.

• I'm getting annoyed at myself for not losing weight before I go and I'm seriously getting concerned about how comfortable I'm going to be on the flight (but let's face it, I don't think anyone is that comfortable). I'm freaking out about the possibility of having to sleep on the top bunk in a hostel and possibly crushing someone to death in their sleep (slight exaggeration, I hope?)

•  I'm anxious about money, whether we'll have enough of it, if we'll have to sacrifice parts of the trip and what that would mean. And slightly annoyed at the fact that I didn't budget for and our budget is £3,000 over what we thought. And I'm working out how that is going to happen.
• Finding nice people via couchsurfing. We're doing half Air B&B one one half of our US trip and half couch surfing for the other half, and I'm not going to lie, I'm slightly concerned that we will end up on a random park bench. Though I'm sure we won't...

• While I love the fact that we don't have a plan for when we get back, we also don't have a plan for when we get back. And that's pretty scary. And hard to explain to loved ones who just want to make sure we're safe.

• I'm equal parts worried and excited about taking work with me. Worried because I want to be as present as possible, and want to live the experience instead of get stuck in this 'to do list' loop in my head. And excited because being a digital nomad, or whatever they're calling it these days, plays to my ego and sounds very cool and adventurous. (I said I was being brutally honest!)

• I'm also worrying about my energy levels while I'm away. I've been feeling very lethargic lately, and have got used to working from home most days, so I'm used to planning my time out and scheduling the things that exhaust me.

• I'm also nervous about having my period while I'm away (TMI?).I 'm not worried about the US, but I do have concerns about travelling around Asia with a really heavy period.

• And to end the list of worries, I have an irrational fear of food poisoning, so yeah, that should be fun!

(Did I mention I'm a very skilled and experienced worrier?!)

What I think I should be feeling right now

• Happy. So much happiness that I'm randomly bursting into tears with the sheer joy of it all

• Not-able -to go-to-sleep excitement levels. And while this does happen when I stop worrying and think about the fact that this time in three months we'll be in San Francisco, I've convinced myself I should be pre-going-to-see-Macklemore level excitement every day. (Which I know isn't sustainable. At all).

• Prepared and feeling like it's happening. Because right now, it hasn't sunk in. At all. I feel we should have our plans sorted. And we don't.

• Raring to go - I feel like I should have my bag packed, a countdown on my phone and be ready to jump on a plane at a moment's notice. Truth be told, I'm working from 9am to 9pm most days, and I'm pretty fucking knackered

• Financially secure - can I just put LOL for that one?

• Really fucking grateful. Which I seriously am, but my ability to worry about every eventuality and over think things is getting in my way.

I'm writing this post because I want to challenge two myths.

Dream-chasing

Myth Number 1

When you start working towards your dreams, or when they become within an arm's reach life becomes this really easy, uncomplicated, wonderful place.

It doesn't. Like I said, I could only focus on the positives, an Instagrammable version, but I would be ignoring all of my values if I did that. And that's something I can't do.

I think often we're sold this myth, that if only we work X hard of make X amount of money that life is going to become this beautiful place full of rainbows.

And I think that's really dangerous, especially when so many of us put our hearts and souls into our dreams and we're desperate for them to happen.

We ignore the fact that there are still going to be hiccups, roadblocks and times of uncertainty .

Myth Number 2

You'll never achieve our dreams unless your life is perfect. You have to be rich or become this wonderful person that you only dream you could be.

Of course, it takes sacrifice, but most of your dreams are doable. You will have to have some trade ins, but you can make it happen.

We might have to wait longer than we thought, we might have to work harder than we ever thought possible, we might have to make some really hard decisions, but they can happen.

It is also some true scary shit, but that doesn't mean that we can't take a risk and go for it.

This isn't a call of action to not chase your dreams. The last thing I want to do is to put you off. I just want to be really honest.

I want to show the side of things you don't generally see.

But you know what? All of those things I'm worried about? All of the sacrifices I'm making?

They are ALL worth it. There have been hard decisions to make along the way, but I wouldn't have made another decision. Travelling the world, learning more about life and more about myself, getting to have new experiences and having so much more independence and freedom has always been something I've wanted to do.

And I wouldn't have it any other way. And I'm sure you feel the same about your dreams too :)

Pep Talk: Be The Heroine In Your Own Adventure Story

Here's a truth for you: I have spent my whole life wanting to write about women who go on adventures. Women who decide to choose themselves and follow their own path, wherever it takes them. Women who buy a one way plane ticket and greet life with a smile and a fuck it attitude. Women who go where the wind takes them find themselves. Women who go out and chase their dreams like their life depends on it. I've spent my whole life wanting to write about these women, but now something is different.

Instead of reading about these fictional heroines, I'm meeting them, chatting to them, interviewing them about their incredible journeys, about both the shit and the giggles and what it took to get them to where they are today.

And somewhere along the way, instead of writing about fictional characters who go on adventures to find themselves, I became a real life version.

And **shit ** is that equal parts terrifying and exciting at the same time.

I've spent so much of my life in a deep sense of longing. Longing to be someplace different, longing for a different life, longing for adventures and longing to be the fictional heroine who lives in my imagination.

And it's really hard to believe that I am becoming her.

In just over three months time, me and Mr. Meg will be leaving the UK to have our own adventure. We'll be spending three months in the US, dancing ourselves silly, eating our way around the country and sleeping on strangers couches in cities we've only dreamt of.. Then after a short visit back home, we'll be off to India, Thailand, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam and Indonesia for six months to see some of the most beautiful places in the world, massively expand our point of reference and really open our minds and our lives. And the future? It looks a little something like this:

I don't know what memories I'm going to make. I don't know what crazy stories I'm going to come back with. I don't know what's going to inspire me, and what I'm going to learn about myself.

But what I do know is this: In a year's time, when I'm thinking about writing about women who go and have their own adventures, it's going to be with a completely different set of references and experiences.

It's going to be from the point of view of someone who chose herself and chased after her dreams as well.

Because if I don't choose myself, it will never happen. I would have just been stuck longing and wondering over the what ifs. Those fictional characters in stories I've yet to write would get more developed, their dreams more real than mine ever could be and my dreams would be just that. A story that's waiting to be written, which might never have been written.

I'm slowly realising that I don't have to sit on the sidelines. I don't have to reserve these epic adventures, stories and memories. I can go and make my own. And you can too.

I'm realising that it's not about doing it after this, or when I'm this, or when this happens.

And it's not just reserved for other people.

We get to have our own adventures. We get to choose our own adventures.

And that feels pretty liberating to write for the first time.

And these adventures, these dreams? They're going to be different for each and every one of us.

And that's some pretty fucking epic shit right there.

So, take a bet on yourself, dare to believe in your dreams and chase them. And become a person who's autobiography you would love to read. Because deep down, you know what you want, and you can get there.

It takes a shitload of courage, but you can do it.

Let's do this together and commit to living the lives of our heroines, instead of writing them.

The 'secret' to getting creative work done and chasing your dreams

When I first started writing, at a very young age, I was obsessed by how other writers achieved success. What writing habits did they adopt? Where did they write? Did they type or hand write? How did they map their novels? What kind of pen were they using? I thought this knowledge was the secret to my own writing success. If only I could find something that sounded like it could work like me. If I kept researching their habits, reading interviews and trying to uncover their secrets, then I could achieve the same success. Or I could get out of my writer’s block (oh, the irony). Either way, I thought it was a bit of a magic hack to the success that I wanted to happen.

It took me years to work out that was bollocks.

(Hopefully you get that the title was ironic!)

But it didn’t feel like it at the time. It felt like the way to go about things. I thought I was doing the sensible thing. I thought it would make me feel more inspired and keen to get on with my own work.

It didn’t. It blocked me like a toilet at Glastonbury.

I was copying all these things famous authors were doing, but they weren’t working.

New pen. Check

New notebook. Check

Wake up early and write. Check

Wake up late and write. Check.

Attempt to plot novels on napkins. Nearly.

I was SO obsessed with having a routine and word count that I was writing a grand total of jack shit.

And when I did have an idea, I would obsess over whether it could work to the point that in my head the idea turned into this ridiculous thing that was never going to work out.

I didn’t write for a long time.

I bought new notebooks, like I could purchase hope and inspiration in cold hard cash. After the first page, they lay completely empty. A beautiful reminder of my inability to believe in myself.

That was until I started this blog. I didn’t even think about the fact that I was writing. I just let words tumble out onto the laptop, in a way that made sense to me.

I started to think more about life, and write about what I saw. I had so much to say that I knew someone needed to hear other than me.

And I left that world of authorship, obsessing and watching other writers become successful. Instead, I started to focus on what needed to come out of me. Because SHIT was there a lot of stuff.

And along the line I realised something.

There is no hack. There is no special habit or routine. There is no one way of going about it. JK Rowling started out just like me and you. An urge to put her shit into the world.

So there is no hack. But there is a difference.

And that lies in actually getting on with it and doing the work. 

Maybe that's the big secret.

The problem with looking to other highly successful creatives is that we don’t see the unpublished works. We don’t see the really bad first drafts. We don’t see the amount of paper or documents that got sent to the trash can.

And we don’t realise that they’re just doing something that they found works for them. They got to a point where they too were able to block off the noise and just do the work.

And they worked fucking hard.

To borrow the words of Macklemore:

The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint,

The greats were great cause they paint a lot

And when we look to other people, we get so sucked into what works for them that we completely forget what works for us.

And whether we realise it or not yet, we know a lot about what works for us.

Have a look at the following questions and you’ll be surprised that you know more than you think about what works for you

What time of the day do you feel more inspired?

What do you feel the urge to do? It doesn’t have to make sense

What motivates you?

Why do you want to do the work/create what you want?

Do you like typing or handwriting ideas?

Do you work better with music?

Does the environment make a difference to you? If so, what helps?

You have all the answers inside you. But first of all, it starts with doing the work and turning down the noise; the noise of what everyone else is doing, what they’re achieving, what their process looks like. Everything.

Focus on you.

Part of being a trailblazer is doing things because they make sense to you.

Start with that.

Whether you own an online business, design stationary, write books or want to do you own thing, whatever that looks like, what can you do RIGHT NOW to reduce the noise and listen to yourself?

Read this if you've ever felt like a fraud

I want to talk about something today that we don’t really like to talk about, or admit. We all feel like frauds.

Who am I to be doing this?

Why should someone pay me attention/money to do this? 

What if they find out that I feel like a mess and discover I’m a massive fraud?

Who do you think you are to do this? What makes you qualify to have a voice on this?

How long is it going to be until someone finds out, and then I’m done. I’m going to lose it all.

What if my boss/friend/client going to find out they chose the wrong person?

I’m not an expert!

I’ve had these thoughts, you’ve had these thoughts, and even John Green feels like a fraud and like he doesn’t know how to write a novel.

Sometimes it feels like a ‘guess what celebrity I am’ post it note stuck on your forehead that you’re desperately trying to hide.

(You can breathe a huge sigh of relief that you’re not alone now!)

And I think there’s a good reason many of us feel like frauds.

It comes from a place of good intention.

We’re mission driven, we want to help people, and our inner perfectionists want us to do the The Best Job Ever.

We’re given so many reasons to listen to the voice inside us that tells us we’re not good enough, that when we put something in the world, when we try something, our imposter voice comes out to keep us in check.

Because for so many of us, we don’t want to let people down, we don’t want to be seen as conceited, we don’t want to wave our expertise or our own strengths around like a bra at a Macklemore gig.

Instead, we worry like hell.

We worry that we’re not doing a good job, counter to what anyone else is telling us. We convince ourselves that the people who support us and encourage us don’t know our secret; the full story - the one where we’re a MASSIVE IMPOSTER.

(And sometimes, when things get really shitty, we can convince ourselves that people don’t mean their compliments, they’re doing it just to make us feel good, or because they pity us. Hello, crippling self-doubt!)

We all have our own fraud stories. Every single one of us. We’ve all had those thoughts, and we’ve all unintentionally and sometimes intentionally kept ourselves back because we feel like a massive fraud.

My own fraud story 

When I started That Hummingbird Life, it was primarily about recovering from burnout and self care. And I used to beat myself up so much about getting burnt out. Fucking hell did I give myself a hard time when I myself got burnt out.

When I first started, I’d just recovered from a couple of serious burnout episodes and had found things that helped me.

For the first time in my life, I saw the value in taking time for myself, the value in putting myself on my priority list, and I started to say no to things, do things that made my heart sing and generally remember that I am valued and I actually matter.

And I learned SO much from that process. It was a complicated, messy, human process and I shared a lot of it. I wanted to share my journey, share things I found invaluable, and share my struggle.

But it turns out it takes longer than a couple of years to un-do learned behaviours we’ve been repeating over and over again our entire lives (help everyone, say yes, just keep going, practice makes perfect).

So I would still burnout. But there was a difference. It wasn’t so hard, and it didn’t take me as long to bounce back. Each time was getting quicker, because I’d built resilience and tools that I know worked for me to help me deal with it.

But at the time, I wasn’t focusing on how I was doing. All I could feel when I did burnout was how much of a fraud I was, and I felt guilty. I thought it made me a hypocrite.

I thought I was an absolute fraud. And a failure. 

The thought that kept going round in my head was  who am I to think that I could help other people, if I still get trapped in the burnout cycle and struggle with self care.

And it really chipped at my confidence. I found it harder to blog and share things that had helped me because I felt like I wasn’t doing it 100% right myself.

I found it harder to blog and stopped offering coaching completely, even though I know I helped many people because of my experience and because I was good at what I did.

With The Couragemakers Podcast, the same familiar thoughts came back to me.

But something changed.

At some point down the line, I figured that everyone has these feelings, and they’re a safety mechanism to keep us in our comfort zones, and to keep us from thinking we’ve got ‘too big for our boots’.

That doesn’t mean to say I never feel like a fraud anymore. Far from it!

I even thought who am I to be writing about fraud? Several times through writing this.

If you’ve got passionate bones in your body, if you genuinely want to help people and put good shit in the world, you’re going to feel like a fraud at some point.

Not necessarily all the time, maybe it’s just fleeting. But we all feel it.

No matter what your work, your passion project - whatever it is you’re putting in the world - is, feeling like a fraud is a part of it.

But being human is even more a fundamental part of it.

If you’re doing something because you experienced it and found something that works for you and want to share it, then that is a completely valid way of helping people. (And it’s also worth remembering that we write what we most need to hear; we work on the things that heal us.)

Experience is a completely valid place to create from.

And experiences are never simple. There’s never a point A or a point B. There’s a couple of salsa steps forward then sliding backwards on your arse.

The fraud is the person who stands there and says they no have zero problems.

The fraud is the confidence coach who tells you they are now 110% completely happy in themselves, that they can establish effective boundaries for every single relationship they have and no longer struggle with self doubt, whatesoever anymore.

The fraud is the person who stands up with the fairy godmother transformation and preaches that they’ve completely figured it out and they don’t struggle anymore.

The fraud is the person that promises you unrealistic fantasies that they pass off as real life.

The fraud is the person that tells you their life used to be awful but now it’s the most amazing fucking thing they could ever fucking imagine.

The fraud is NOT YOU.

You feel like a fraud because we all do.

Because you care.

Because you know deep down you have something of immense value to add to the world, but your first instinct is to keep you safe (in the comfort zone).

You are anything, but alone.

On Dream-chasing: What would the world look like if we all spoke about our dreams?

How many people know your inner-most dreams?Not the ones that sound good when you're meeting new people, or the half-beat ones you tell your family. But the ones that you struggle to barely whisper to yourself. The ones you're too scared to say out loud.

The ones that sometimes you're too afraid to tell yourself. (If you don't know what these are, stay tuned for Thursday's post where I'm talking all about discovering and realising those dreams). 

I'm guessing hardly any, right? And that's true for most people.

We all go along, trying to chase whatever desires we have like it's no big deal, and shrug it off. And we don't talk about it in the office, in the supermarket, in the shopping mall, sometimes in our own homes. Instead, those conversations often only happen deep inside our heads in the middle of the night and often, with no one.

And when we do share them, they’re framed as goals. Socially acceptable goals - goals that people won’t laugh at you for, goals that are achievable so you don’t feel like a failure if they don’t work out (notice how we always plan for failure but never success?) and goals that fit in with the norm.

I find myself doing the same.

Sharing your dreams takes a shitload of bravery, just like creating something and putting it out there in the world does.

But for me, there's nothing more empowering than being with women who aren't only telling people their dreams, but sharing their journeys. The ups, the down, the whole lot. (If you’re craving this, check out The Couragemakers Podcast!).

Because we don’t have enough role models in this area. We don’t have enough women standing up, declaring their dreams, sharing their successes and failures while admitting it is some tough shit.

But sometimes you just have to go out on a branch, as Todd Henry would say, and fly the flag for yourself. And hope that in doing that, you’re inspiring someone else to do the same.

Because what is life if we’re all going to be so fucking polite about our dreams and desires?

If we never admit them, life becomes this ridiculous facade where everyone is too concerned about what other people think about them to take a risk.

Life becomes the grand total of to-do lists, paying bills, keeping up with the Joneses and the other bullshit all that entails. And I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live in a world like that.

So today, I want to leave a question:

What would the world look like if we all spoke about our dreams like the valid things they are?

Imagine for a second if people's dreams were used as their descriptors! So instead of Anne from IT, it would be Anne who dreams of owning a farm and having a sustainable and ethical jewellery business. Imagine how much it would tell us about each other, instead of the bullshit snippets we hear that say a grand total of zero.

And if that sounds a bit bloody ridiculous to you, then think how ridiculous it is that we don’t really know the people we work with, the people closest to us and how we subdue our dreams to protect ourselves.

My challenge for you this week is to go out on a limb and take a chance on yourself. Tell someone you know something you dream of that they don’t know.

It might feel uncomfortable (most of the important things in life do).

But I’d imagine you’ll be surprised by the support. And the connections.

Because going back to Anne in IT. What if in telling people about her ambitions, discovers that Molly in finance has a successful Etsy shop and is happy to help?

Give yourself the gift of telling someone you love about a dream you have. Because you never know who is willing to help, who can help you, and the connections you’ll make when you do.

Let go of that facade and hedge a bet on yourself.

And you never know, maybe it might even add a spring in your step.

(And for the people who just don't get it and are never going to be supportive, check out How to Deal with Dreamshitters).

I'd love to know in the comments how you think your life could change if you told other people your dreams.

You’re not Brené Brown, but you’ve still got a story

I just want to start by saying that I love Brené Brown. I’ve watched the TED talks, bought the books, didn’t buy the t-shirt because it was too expensive.And I love the ‘others’ too - you know who I mean. The big name people talking about big ideas and concepts in profound way.

I find them inspiring, their work definitely influences my work, and I love travelling or sitting in a coffee shop with Audible on, listening to their latest books.

But I think there’s been a shift.

There’s been a shift, in that if you’re thinking about, writing about or wanting a quote about vulnerability or shame, you google Brené Brown. If you want inspiration about creativity - you turn to Elizabeth Gilbert.

The great part is that vulnerability, creativity, shame and fear have become part of normal conversations.

The not so great part? It’s like we’ve stopped turning to our own stories, and our own narratives.

I get that there are experts in any industry and there are always people leading the field, but I think experts have been put on a pedestal so much that we’re forgetting ourselves and the contribution we have to make.

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder how helpful it is, that when we’re talking about huge, subjective, personal topics,  we immediately turn to the 'experts' instead of turning to ourselves, and the people in our own lives.

The way I see it, if you’re reading this right now, if you’re a human, you’re just as much an expert on vulnerability, shame, creativity, fear as anyone who might have a New York Times Bestseller.

All of our human experiences guarantee that.

And we’ve all found our own unique strategies and tools, our own memories, and experiences where they’ve come into play. And we all have our own stories, our own ah-ha moments, and our own ways we can help ourselves and others. 

And my fear that we're not turning to ourselves only increased when I started The Couragemakers Podcast. I started my podcast because I wanted to talk to everyday couragemakers about everyday courage. To have honest conversations with mission driven doers, makers and world shakers that might not necessarily be featured on Huffington Post, have written their own book or given a TED Talk.

I wanted to hear the stories of women all around the world who are using their own experiences, and their own strengths and values to put good shit into the world and make the world a brighter place than how we found it.

And believe me, I have. And the episodes are AMAZING. And the women? They are fucking phenomenal.

But when I started to reach out to women I knew, women who encourage and ispire me,  I started seeing a pattern emerging their responses. Their answers started with ‘I’d absolutely love to…” and finished with:

“When I’ve done more”

“When I’m at that level”

“But I don’t think I’m very interesting”

“But I don’t think I have anything to say”

It’s like we’ve all got used to only hearing successful, well regarded people on podcasts, listening to people who have given TED Talks, and only watching the people who look like they have it all.

And in the process, we’re silencing ourselves. We’re getting trapped in the ‘I’m not good enoughs’ and ‘I’m not important enoughs.' I’m truly devastated by the fact that there are people who don’t feel important enough to think they even have a story.

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Let me tell you - for every single interview I record, I am absolutely blown away. Blown away by the stories, by the courage and by the joy of sharing stories that are untold.

Most of all, I’m blown away by the fact that we all have so many different stories. For each guest, I know the interview could go a thousand different ways, depending on which part of their story or their lives we’re focusing on.

Because when it comes to vulnerability, fear, creativity, hope, wholeheartedness, bravery, anything - we've all got enough stories to stock that beautiful bookshop in You've Got Mailthree times over. 

And when people are asked about their lives, their struggles and what inspires them, they come out with stories and advice that are just as share-worthy and Pinterest board worthy as Brené Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert:

Asking for help is one of the best things you could do for your life. And letting people know life is a mess and life is really messy and it’s okay becauese we all are messy and nobody has it together -- Jordan Gage

Find something new you want to try and do it. That’s a gift to yourself -- Amber Thomas

Being a courage maker is when your inner light is stronger than the light out there -- Violeta Nedkova

We've all got our own narratives.

We've all got our own stories to tell. We each have a back catalogue of real life experiences. We each have our Greatest Hits and also that obscure album that no one's really listened to.

Trust yourself and stop googling, or believing that the experts can say what you're thinking, or your ideas better than yourself.

Because they can't.

** The Couragemakers Podcast will be released on 29th February. You can keep up to date with all the episodes here.

Pep talk: Give yourself permission to try

Waiting for a permission slip to do life, is like waiting for your Hogwarts letter.  It’s something you desperately wish you had, but something that isn’t going to happen.

It would be great if someone knocked on your door, told you that your plans are worthwhile and you’re the right person to execute them, but it doesn’t work that way.

And we both know that.

So then why are so many of us living like that? Like we’re waiting for a sign, waiting for the right moment, waiting to get everything right.

It’s not the right time, I’m too busy, I need to know more, I’m not an expert, I just need to invest in this one thing.

Sometimes this is true. Sometimes you do have too much going on in your life. Sometimes everything is too chaotic and it would be ridiculous to add more to the mix. Sometimes you do need invest in something (this was definitely true for Skype Recorder for my podcast). And sometimes you do need to learn more.

But sometimes they’re also just excuses. They’re ways of keeping within our comfort zones, ways of making us feel safe, but at the same time, keeping us level-headed, because, it’s going to happen. Right?

I’m going to be real.

The books I planned out in my head since I was about fifteen - they’ve never been written.

My podcast - it took a year longer than I thought to get started.

A lot of my creative plans - they’ve yet to see the light of day.

Why? Because I’ve been scared. My inner critic started to take over. All the usual shit started showing up:

I’m not good enough. What if no one takes any notice. Who am I to be doing this? I don’t know enough. They’re for other people, not for me. 

And I wanted validation. I wanted someone to tell me I was on the right path, and it would be wonderful. I wanted to not have to deal with the creative blocks, the resistance and the fear that it wouldn’t work out, or my work wouldn’t matter.

But here’s the thing. Your work does matter.

Your life matters. But it doesn’t matter if I think that, if Ryan Gosling thinks that or if your neighbour’s cat thinks that.

That doesn’t count for shit. What counts is that you believe that.

And that you’re able to give yourself your own permission slip. You’re the only one who has earned that right. And you’re the one that’s going to be most affected by it.

Because there are always going to be haters, nitpickers and naysayers. Just like there’s always going to be people doing similar shit to what you’re doing. And that fear and discomfort? That’s not going away either.

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But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t bother. It means you need to get creative. And start taking yourself seriously.

Let’s face it. How much time do you spend thinking about what you want to be doing? How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think, and what the reaction will be?

A lot of time, right?

So why not just use that time to just do it?

Why don’t we just use that time to create the things we want to create. Say the things we want to say. And just do the things we want to do.

Give yourself permission. 

Give yourself permission to try and succeed.

Give yourself permission to try and fail.

Just give yourself permission to stand up with your head tall and say:

"I fucking tried and do you know what, I learned something.I learned that I have courage, I have conviction, and I have something to say."

Dream Chasing: 30 things before 30

It's a couple of days after my 25th birthday and I've been thinking a lot lately about life. About how slow time goes now I'm not having the same mundane day over and over again working at a job I hated. About how I have so many goals but because I only keep them in my head, they end up feeling all over the place instead of exciting. And ultimately about how I need to take more risks and look fear in the face. So my 30 things to do before I'm 30 list started.

Why 30?

Because it sounded much more realistic than 101. And why before 30? Because I don't know where life is taking me, and that is EXCITING! For once, I don't have a 3 year plan and I'm not obsessing about the HOW but instead I'm focusing on the WHY.

If you'd asked the 21 year old me what my life goals were by 30, I'd probably have said to start my own charity, have children and and to have saved the world.My life looks a lot different now I've learned to manage my expectations and learn who I am and I couldn't be happier.

Because here's the truth of it.

I don't know what's going to happen. I certainly couldn't have predicted at 15 what I'd be doing at 25. I couldn't have predicted it at 20. Because so many weird and wonderful things have happened and so many opportunities have opened up as I've changed my perspective from a type a stress head to a recovering type a stress head!

So here goes with my list (in no particular order). It definitely feels pretty vulnerable putting it online! I'll be updating it as I go along and adding more things as I discover things I want to do that keep me up at night and keep my zest for life alive.

30 Things to Do Before I'm 30

(last updated August 2018, age 27, 2 and a bit years to go!)

1. Backpack across US DONE, India and South East Asia

2. Get tattoos

3. Ride/meet an elephant

4. Write a fictional novel

5. Finish my amazing patchwork throw made of fabrics I've collected on my travels

6. Create a big piece of art on canvas

7. Perform a live country gig

8. Become a spoken word poet and perform

9. Become location independent as a self employed person DONE!

10. Start and sustain a successful podcast DONE!

11. Speak in front of a live audience of 1,000 people

12. Publish a book (including self published)

13. Produce artwork & jewellery to sell

14. Edit and produce a magazine

15. Perform a stand up gig

16. Sustain and take That Hummingbird Life to the next level DONE!

17. Develop a better relationship with my body

18. Go to Nashville & dance my feet off DONE!

19. Actually pass my driving test

20. Write collection of short stories

21. Have a civil partnership with Mr. Meg and have the a festival wedding

22. Have my own line of stationery

23. Go to a silent disco, paint rave and colour festival

24. See Macklemore & Ryan Lewis live! DONE! TWICE - London & Vegas

25. Go on a creative retreat

26. Explore European cities including Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, eastern europe

27. Write a postcard to myself every week for the next 5 years

28. Write, direct and perform my own one person musical (even if only to family and friends.)

29. Go to CMA fest & C2C DONE! Went to C2C, not so bothered about CMA fest now!

30. Learn to cook GOOD Tapas, Thai, Indian and American southern food.

So here goes! 5 years of very exciting things! I'd LOVE to know if you have a bucket list or how you've recorded your goals! Let me know in the comments!