7 Films to Warm Your Heart
Now, like most people, I enjoy a good Netflix binge. But sometimes, it’s so easy to start a series, put life on pause (even when you have too much to do and so little time) and just get stuck in. But other times we just need a bit of a lift and some inspiration, and […]
Now, like most people, I enjoy a good Netflix binge. But sometimes, it’s so easy to start a series, put life on pause (even when you have too much to do and so little time) and just get stuck in. But other times we just need a bit of a lift and some inspiration, and something to remind us that the world isn’t as bad as we think it is and that good things do happen. So this week, I thought I’d share with you my favourite films to watch to warm your heart. Some of them you’ll expect to see here, others are perhaps a bit more cult or need a bit more explanation. But my hope is that this list can provide you with a bit of hope, or a much needed laugh, inspiration and give you a couple of hours of escapism, without falling into the binging hole (and believe me, I’ve been there…many many times!)
Amelie
This is one of my all time favourite films - it warms my heart like nothing else, reminds me of the good and kindness of strangers and also just makes me so happy that creative people follow their dreams and create masterpieces that make unconventional and sensitive people like me and you feel more understood and give us inspiration.
Watch this when:you feel like the world is going to pieces, if you want to appreciate really good storytelling and if you want to be reminded of the beauty in the world.
Crazy, Stupid Love
Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone in one film? That’s a winner in my books. But seriously, this is one film that always puts a smile on my face and just makes me happy. It might be a chick flick of some variety, but the story is just so satisfying and it’s nice to get caught up in someone else’s drama for a while instead of your own.
Watch this when:You need a good laugh, when the drama in your own life feels too much and if you think chick flicks are stupid!
Whip It
Okay, maybe I was lying when I said Amelie was my favourite film. Whip It is all about embracing your individuality and rebellious nature, doing things that aren’t expected of you and putting a massive finger up to the status quo and choosing yourself instead. It’s also about female friendship, roller derby and giving yourself permission to follow the path that draws you in.
Watch this when:You’re doubting whether chasing your dreams are worth it, when you feel like you’re on your own and you don’t fit in and when you need a boost to choose yourself and embrace yourself for all your quirks.
The Help
When I think about changing the world, this film comes to mind. (The book is even better). Set in 1960s America, it explore the injustice faced by black Nannies and how owning your story and telling your story can start to change history, and what you have to gain and to lose along the way. /The Help/ reminds me of the bravery and the courage it takes to tell you story even when people won’t listen or don’t want to know, and how women can change the world.
Watch this when: You feel like one person alone can’t make a difference, when you feel like everything around you is falling apart and you can’t change history, and if you feel like you were born to do something much bigger than yourself.
The Perks Of Being a Wallflower
I’m a big believer in crying, for me, if I’m dealing with a lot of things and feel like I need a good cry but I can’t, this is the film I watch. There is something about this film that gives me tingles on my skin from the moment I put it on, and makes me well up every five minutes. Ultimately, it’s a story of incredible friendship and our profound resilience and ability to survive.
Watch this when: You need a good cry, when you believe things won’t get better and when you want to feel alive.
*Trigger warning: mental health/ and mentions of sexual abuse
Harry Potter (any of them but the third is my favourite)
Okay, okay, this one might be a bit cliched, but stick with me on this one. There’s something about the Harry Potter books and films that we all need. It’s about letting the light in, and believing that good does succeed evil.
Watch this when: You feel like the world is doomed, when you’re struggling to overcome your personal demons and dementors and when you feel disappointed that you didn’t get your Hogwarts letter.
Cemetery Junction
Now, I happen to think this is the most under-rated film of all time. I can’t explain it without it sounding shit, so please just watch the trailer *need link*. This film makes me feel alive, reminds me that there are so many paths not taken that we can choose, and that we’re not limited to what’s expected of us.
Watch this when:You want to pack a bag and go on an adventure, when you’re stuck wondering if this is it, and when you feel an urge to follow your crazy dreams but aren’t sure if you can.
I hope you enjoy these films as much as I do. I'd love to hear your favourite go-to films! Let me know in the comments!
11 Fun Ways to Build Your Self Confidence That You Won't Find In Cosmo
I’ve had quite a few confidence shattering experiences over the last five years. And there’s a notable difference between how I presented myself five years ago than now. Somewhere along the way though , I learned that it’s possible to love myself, that I’m much more introverted than I thought I was and that when […]
I've had quite a few confidence shattering experiences over the last five years. And there's a notable difference between how I presented myself five years ago than now. Somewhere along the way though , I learned that it's possible to love myself, that I'm much more introverted than I thought I was and that when you compare yourself to someone you once were, you're always going to see it with rose-tinted glasses.
I've been in soul sucking jobs, had managers that were vicious bullies, fallen out with friends, had people my life who made me feel like shit and other various experiences that I won't detail here because no matter how honest and vulnerably you share your life online, you have to have boundaries and draw a line in the sand somewhere.
These are tips you probably aren't going to read in Cosmo. And I'm guessing you're not a huge Cosmo addict because my site is pretty much as far away as you can get from it.
I don't write lists of 5 ways you can love yourself TODAY because I believe they're bullshit as much as I believe the sun is in the sky.
Instead these are small exercises and tiny and big actions you can take, that over a period of time and working on yourself, are going to help you build your confidence.
So if your confidence has been chipped, if you don't stand as tall as you once did, or if you never stood tall to begin with, I hope these can be valuable things you can do so you can greet the world in the eyes, to quote Macklemore, 'stare the world into its face' and claim your space in the world without apology.
1. Dress for the person you want to be
The idea of dressing for the job you want has been thrown around a lot lately. It's one of those pseudo empowerment, techniques that probably helps someone. While I think that leaves a lot to be desired, the idea of dressing for the person you want to be is a much better alternative.
I think we can all get into a habit with how we dress. Wearing stuff that is okay but doesn't really reflect who we are. Keeping to the same safe shapes, the same safe colours and not fully embracing who we are.
And I think that's especially true if you have your own issues around your body image. For me, I've put off buying clothes I LOVE for a long time, because I'm 'plus size'. I kept telling myself the quirky and beautiful clothes I want are attainable when I've lost the weight. But here's the thing. I've had an up and down relationship with my body for all of my life. I'm not suddenly going to drop all the weight, and even if I did, I deserve to have clothes I love NOW. In my head, the person I want to be dresses how I used to when I was thinner. Lots of colour, lots of accessories, and outrageous colour and pattern combinations. And I'm working to embrace that. When me and Mr. Meg go on our round the world adventure, we're going to need maximum versatility and clothes we love. I'm only taking a 45 litre rucksack, so the clothes I take, I need to love. Instead of buying loads of plain vests and leggings, I'm going to be rocking this killer dungaree flared skirt, this beautiful polka dot tea dress and glamming it up with one of these *gorgeous* vintage evening dresses (whenever I can decide on the print!)
How can you dress to be the person you want to be? Take a bit of time - what does she look like? Browse Pinterest, indulge yourself in finding clothes that reflect who you are as a person.
2. Look strangers in the eye
This can be pretty fucking terrifying. So many of us get hung up on worrying what other people think of us, but the truth is that most people are so concerned about themselves and having that same inner dialogue in their own head that they're probably not wondering why you bought that dress or how your stomach sticks out in your jeans.
And here's the fun bit. When you start to look people in the eye, you'll realise something. It's not as scary as you think. It doesn't kill you, you get a much better view. You get to see so much more than the pavement and pigeon shit.
And that has to be worth it in itself.
3. Go somewhere where no one recognises you
There's something so liberating about being somewhere that no one recognises you. There's a sense of freedom, that you probably won't see people you know, and that you probably won't see any of these people ever again. You can try out personas, walk with some serious swagger, dance and sing out loud to your favourite music, give people the eye and greet the world in the face. Of course you do this anywhere, but sometimes it helps to start in places completely familiar and build yourself up.
I love the George Bernard Shaw quote: "Life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself."
Explore who you can be. And have fun with it!
4. Take REALLY bad 'selfies'
My inside cringes at the word selfies, but there we go.
If you struggle with low self confidence, chances are you aren't best friends with the camera either.
I've got periods of my life where I have no pictures of myself. There are whole chunks of my life that remain visually undocumented because I hated the way I looked so much. And that's really sad. Because I didn't have any less of a story, and I was still living my life. I just hated myself to the point that I didn't think my face was worth documenting.
While you might never want to get to the stage where you're taking pictures of yourself and updating your profile picture every day, I think it's definitely worth starting to take photos of yourself and looking at them. We can become so disconnected with what we see in the mirror. The more you start to connect with your reflection, the greater chance of you finding things you love about your face.
I can say with joy that I love my eyes, my nose ring really makes me smile and I have a pretty hilariously big smile. And I can also tell you the things I don't like - the fat around my neck, my less than clear skin and my lack of dimples. But you know what? The things I love outweigh those negatives every day.
So start taking photos. Start with the ones that are so bad that they make you laugh. And somewhere along the way, I bet you'll start to find things you love too.
5. Start a Comfort Zone List
This is absolutely inspired by Anabel Roque Rodríguez and her own challenge that she shares on Couragemakers. Anabel and her friend both wanted to extend their comfort zones, so they came up with an amazing project to help them do it.
Every week, they would mail each other a couple of ways they were each going to challenge themselves to come out of their comfort zone. Sometimes it would be something as seemingly simple as talk to a stranger.
Why not start your own Comfort Zone List? By doing small actions every week and deliberately focusing on your comfort zone and how you're feeling, you're going to find yourself really proud of what you can achieve which will start to build your confidence in no time.
11 Fun Ways To Increase Your Self Confidence You Won't Find in Cosmo
6. Do something for you that is completely unrelated to your work or any goal
We're so busy that sometimes it can be really hard to justify doing things just for the fun of it. But I think there's something magical that happens when you do something just because you want to.
It makes you feel more in control of your own life, and reaffirms your subconscious that you do matter, and that your happiness is importance.
And it can be anything. Signing up to Borrow My Doggy and getting to know cute dogs in your neighbourhood, having a one person karaoke party, writing your own one person musical (this is on my 30 before 30 list and I'm still not sure how I'm going to pull it off!), or going outside in the pouring rain and let yourself get completely soaked. Or you could start a watercolour painting class, teach yourself to make your own shampoo or learn a new skill. Whatever appeals to you, even if you don't know why.
Whatever is fun for you - and you don't have to justify it, and it doesn't have to make sense to any one other than you - find time to do it. And enjoy it.
And if you don't know what you find fun - start exploring!
7. Stop apologising
I am a recovering chronic apologiser. I apologise for so much shit that has nothing to do with me.
Sorry [even though you bumped into me], sorry [for talking too much even though you asked me a question], sorry [for taking up my full seat on the train, that I have a right to sit in], sorry [for standing up for myself even if you did treat me like shit], sorry [for asking where my meal is even though I ordered half an hour ago], sorry [for interrupting you even though I told you I had to leave half an hour ago]. And the list goes on.
I might as well apologise for the sun fucking shining.
Jeez louise.
And here's the thing. It makes me feel like shit. Every time I do it, I then get annoyed at myself and then end up blaming myself and feeling stupid.
What a confidence crippling cycle.
So if you find yourself doing the same (because I know I'm definitely not alone in this), join me in challenging yourself not to apologise, unless you do something that really warrants it. Like accidentally poisoning your friend's cat, or being mean to someone you love.
You don't owe the world an apology for existing.
8. Get an outside perspective
This is something that's really helped me and it's much different (and better) than asking friends to name three good qualities about you, like so many places suggest.
Having a completely objective perspective can really make you view yourself, and your strengths in a way you didn't before.
In order to do this, I suggest three different online tests (in order of how helpful I think they are.
I found this one to be an absolute gamechanger. I'd thought of doing it for a while but resented having to pay (it's not very expensive - I did it by buying the kindle edition). But then I got chatting to Violeta Nedkova on Couragemakers about it, and decided it was worth giving a go.
And it SO was. After an extensive (but really fun) set of scenario based questions, you end the test with a breakdown of your top 5 skills (mine were activator, maximiser, connectedness, strategic and relator). Which is really cool in itself, but it gets better!
For each of your top five strengths, the test goes on to tell you how that strength helps you stand out, gives you questions, ideas for action *and* an action plan.
This test has really given me a new understanding of why I've really struggled with the jobs I've had. I can see that I needed to be working for progressive organisations, places where my creativity, strategic skills and leadership skills were valued and nurtured, and have the ability to really feedback my ideas on how to make the organisation a better place. And knowing that really helped heal some old wounds.
A lot of people find this test so transformative because it allows you to see what you thought were weaknesses, as strengths, and helps you see yourself in a completely different light.
This is another fun one, and again it's not free but I think there is a free quick version you can do here.
This quiz is all about how the world sees you, and while I didn't really discover anything new about myself, it was reaffirming and was a bit like a big accomplishment.
Something I did find however, is that it was SO helpful in understanding how Mr. Meg works. He did the test (yes, I made him!) and I now have such a better understanding of how his mind works and what motivates him.
And it turns out that not everybody works the same as me and is motivated by the same things. So that was a fun realisation!
And if you're wondering, my primary advantage was passion amd my secondary advantage was power which means my result is that I'm 'The People's Champion'.
Get ready to have a new epic name to call yourself after taking this test!
Free Personality Test Based on Myers Briggs* (it isn't THE Myers Briggs test, but a free version that a lot of people take instead)
So if you've seen people have a seemingly random acronym in their Twitter bio, this personality test is probably the culprit.
It's pretty similar in style to the Strengths Finder Test, but instead of telling you your strengths, it assigns you to one of 16 personality types. And it's pretty fucking accurate. And slightly too creepily true.
It is designed to work out :
How you interact with the world - Introverted (I) or Extroverted (E) How you interpret things - Sensing (S) or Intuitive (I) How you make decisions - Thinking (T) or Feeling (F) How you deal with the outside world - Judging (J) or Perceiving (P)
And once you do the test, you get your acronym. There are 16 different combinations and each are completely different. And completely fascinating. And you end up with a long description that basically sums you up better than anything ever has.
If you're curious, I'm an INFP, and it seems like a lot of people I really relate with are as well!
These three tests are great at building confidence because they help give you a deeper understanding of you. And you might find yourself nodding along in agreement with some pretty incredible things about yourself.
9. Laugh for no reason
A random fact about myself, is that a couple of years ago, I trained as a laughter yoga instructor. If you're wondering what laughter yoga is (it's not some fantangled way of moving your body, it's mainly about breathing and the amazing health impacts laughter gives us), you can see it in practice here with Dr. Madan Kataria, who started the laughter yoga movement.
As well as laughing myself silly until I felt like I couldn't move, I learned so much about how laughter helps us in every day life. From how it helps boost our immune system, how it helps us connect with people, to how it helps us to build resilience.
And here's the best part of all.
Your body and mind don't know the difference between fake laughing and real laughing. So you get the exact same outcomes from making yourself fake laugh as you do when you have a really good laugh with a friend.
Now, this might take a bit of getting used to, and feel downright bizarre when you first start, but once you've got over that first hiccup, you'll find that it can have great effects on your mood and confidence.
So try it out. I recommend starting with a simple breathing technique 'Ho, ho, ha, ha, ha' and taking it from there.
Believe me, it works, and it's a lot of fun!
10. Do something that really scares you, that you wrote off as something you might do ONE DAY
I think it's really easy to divide the world into things we want to do that are in the realm of possibility and the things we'd love to do that we'll probably never do.
And I think there's a massive amount of confidence that can be gained by making those things that are bucket list items, or things that we think we'll do one day into reality.
And those things can be the big scary things, and they can also be tiny things. Because what's big and scary for you, might be easy to someone else, and what's piss-easy for you might be a huge deal to someone else.
But the main difference is doing them instead of thinking about them. Recruit a friend, set yourself a challenge, take the leap and trust the net will be there to catch you.
Because life is here to be lived. And you have the power to make that happen.
11. Show Up
My last tip is the biggest and probably the hardest. And it encapsulated a lot of what I've already spoken about.
And that's to show up, claim your motherfucking right to exist, and dare to do the things that make you happy.
Because you have every right to show up. And sometimes we all need the reminder that we're not here to shrink away, keep our thoughts to ourselves and look at the ground. We're not here to apologise for taking up space, to hide our brilliance and to shy away from what makes us unique.
You have so many things that make you stand out. And you have a combination of skills, strengths and personal quirks that no one else has.
You don't have any competition, because no one can do what you do in the way you do it.
And that's pretty fucking special.
I hope this list has given you some inspiration and practical ways to start building your own confidence.
Stop apologising for existing, start laughing, embrace your personality, smile at strangers, and stand a bit taller.
Surprise yourself.
You have so much to give the world and the world needs to hear your story.
And anyone who has made you think any different, can quite frankly shove it.
I would love to know any fun ways you've used to build your confidence, or how you got on trying these ideas out for yourself! Let me know in the comments!
Thank you to the lovely Tiffany Pratt for letting me use this beautiful photo. Credit for interior design and styling goes to Tiffany Pratt and photography rights go to Tara McMullen.
Pep Talk: Stop Judging Yourself & Other People
This post was going to be something entirely different, but it turns out sometimes life happens and the story has to pan out before the main point becomes clear. Let me back up. I recently went to a 3 day country music festival and was in my absolute element. Seriously, if anything makes me feel […]
This post was going to be something entirely different, but it turns out sometimes life happens and the story has to pan out before the main point becomes clear. Let me back up. I recently went to a 3 day country music festival and was in my absolute element. Seriously, if anything makes me feel like my heart is on fire and like I’m truly alive, it’s dancing, singing and foot stomping to my favourite songs. And that's exactly what I did. (Well, it wasn't quite that easy, but that's another post).
So it's coming to the last 3 songs of Carrie Underwood’s set and people are leaving. They're grabbing their bags, and heading out of the arena to avoid queues. (did I mention it was the most popular arena in the world?) And I'm thinking WHY?!
At this point, I've got an entire blog post written in my head ready to put on paper, about leaving before shit gets real, giving yourself excuses to miss the main event and missing out on epic parts of life because something more convenient came up. And I’m feeling pretty good about it.
Well.
That was until the last night. When I had to leave early to make my last train and ended up missing out on the finale of Eric Church’s gig (cue sad face). And I thought holy shit:
A. I’m a hypocrite
B. Life isn't that fucking simple
I’d made all these presumptions about the people who had left the day before, and then it happened to me.
And it got me thinking a lot about how we judge other people without knowing their whole story and situation. Especially how we treat people when they don’t work to achieve their dreams in the way we’d approach them, or if they abandon their dreams.
When we’re in our own heads, it’s easy to make up stories and get on our dream chasing high horse, even if we’re not meaning to.
For most people, including me and you, chasing your dreams is really bloody complicated. There are SO many factors involved, there are so many different elements that go into making a decision, and choosing what path to follow.
And some elements aren’t chosen by us. Each of us have our own unique set of challenges.
We all have things in our lives that make it extremely difficult to get the work done, to find what it is we feel like we’re meant to do, and to follow our dreams.
And all of our challenges vary, and most of them are completely hidden, or at least not very obvious. (And it’s not up to us or for other people to make them completely visible.)
We don’t always have to explain ourselves to others. We’re allowed to struggle in the dark if we want to.
It may be that someone is paralysed by fear, that they don’t think they can see it all the way through. It may be that they’ve never finished anything and have yet to find the tools they need to get them over than final hurdle. Maybe they have children and balancing childcare and dream chasing is tough. Maybe they get 90% the way through and their budget is blown. Maybe the car breaks down and the savings went. Maybe they’re in poverty and savings were never an option. Perhaps someone became ill and priorities change. Perhaps the project was never serving them in the first place and they were doing it because of guilt. Maybe they have mental health problems and sometimes the biggest achievement of the day is managing to get out of bed. Maybe they have a having a chronic illness and are dealing with the daily struggles and ups and downs that comes with that. Or another one of the 986,746,735,361 other situations I could have thought up.
There are a billion reasons why people do things or don’t do things.
And you might be the most empathetic person in the world, but you’ll never know what it’s like to walk in someone else’s shoes.
Because you only have your own frame of reference to go by. And often, our individual frames of references can’t even begin to think of what it would look like for someone else. We make assumptions, we think about what we’d do if we were in that situation and even if our interests come from a really kind place, we end up judging.
Whatever our circumstances are, they’re all different.
And I think we can all relate this back to ourselves.
We judge ourselves all the fucking time because we don’t take into account our own challenges.
Instead, we beat ourselves up, we tell ourselves we should be doing better and we call ourselves lazy. We convince ourselves we can’t follow things through, and wonder what the point was in the first place.
We become our own harshest critics, and then wonder why we can’t create, why we can’t follow our dreams when we’re in a place of complete self sabotage.
So this is your reminder to give yourself a break and give others a break. We won’t always know the rhyme or reason. We won’t always understand what motivates others or what stops them in their tracks. It’s hard enough to do that for ourselves
We all have challenges. And they’re complicated, messy and often uncomfortable.
Welcome to the joys of being a human.
I’d love to know what you’re doing to be kinder to yourself and how you’re giving yourself a break. Let me know in the comments!
The Epic Guide to Celebrating the Shit Out of Your Small Wins
I talk a lot about celebrating the shit out of your small wins. I mean a lot. Celebrating your small wins helps you to propel you to doing things you thought you wouldn’t be able to, helps you to take a chance on yourself and helps you to find new opportunities. It’s also the difference […]
I talk a lot about celebrating the shit out of your small wins. I mean a lot. Celebrating your small wins helps you to propel you to doing things you thought you wouldn’t be able to, helps you to take a chance on yourself and helps you to find new opportunities. It’s also the difference between starting to work towards your dreams and staying stuck because everything feels so scary.
But one thing I haven’t spoken much about is how to celebrate the shit out of your small wins. And it’s about time that happened!
We’re unconventional folk around here, and the traditional ways of doing things don’t always work or sound appealing.
For most people, celebrating something fits into a specific narrow category and involves one or more of the following:
Going out for a meal
Buying yourself or someone else buying you something luxurious/more expensive than normal
Going out for drinks
An all-nighter that you can’t quite remember in the morning
A party
Inviting a bunch of people over
And there’s one thing that most of those things have in common - they typically involve either celebrating someone else’s achievements and the decision to celebrate is made by someone else.
And those are okay for some things. But they don't really fit with celebrating the small things.
And you know what I’m going to say, right?
Fuck that shit.
That’s not how we do it around here. Because it is perfectly legitimate to celebrate yourself. It’s perfectly legitimate to plan how you’re going to celebrate, and not just reserve the party poppers (metaphorical or real) for big events.
So I want to start by sharing my three truths when it comes to celebrating the shit out of your small wins:
1. Celebrating alone doesn’t make you a loser
Far from it. Sometimes we need the solitude to really reflect and be proud of ourselves. Sometimes when we share our small wins with others, we don’t get the reaction we’d love and the bubble pops or we have no one around us who would get it. So celebrating by yourself doesn’t make you a loser. What it does mean is that you have faith in yourself and you value yourself enough to celebrate. That’s epic shit right there.
2. Nothing is too small to be celebrated
Life is a strange thing. Sometimes you’ll achieve things you never thought you could and other days, getting out of bed and having a shower will be something you’re really fucking proud of.
3. Celebrating yourself is revolutionary, not conceited
If you’re having any thoughts that this sounds really conceited, I kindly ask you to leave them at the door for now. It’s not about being arrogant or being too big for your boots (or boobs as I nearly typed). Instead it’s about recognising that life is hard, that you have your own back and you’re a pretty incredible person with a combination of skills, strengths and abilities unique to you.
So now that we’ve busted those myths, let’s talk about the most important bit. (Or the duh! moment).
With the risk of sounding like I’m running an AA meeting, the most essential thing when it comes to celebrating the shit out of your small wins is to actually acknowledge them.
I know what you’re thinking I know this Meg, get a move on.
But let’s just stay here for a couple of seconds longer. It’s not as obvious as it sounds.
We spend so much of our lives on autopilot and see what we need to do as these huge tasks. It’s rare that we actually break things into manageable chunks and small things. And when we do, the focus is on getting them done and moving on to the next thing. Not celebrating them.
Think about these two things.
What was the last thing you celebrated?
When was the last time you celebrated yourself?
See my point?
We go around doing all of these things, thinking about what’s left to do and how far behind we are. We rarely stop to acknowledge just how much we do, or how much guts it often takes.
And on days where we’re not feeling it, or we’re stressed, or if we deal with pain on a regular basis, we don’t really stop to celebrate the things that feel impossible.
Like deciding to give something another try. Leaving the house when we feel we really can’t. Getting out of bed when depression kicks in. Deciding that enough is enough and we need to rest.
So step number 1, is acknowledging every you do and that small wins happen all the time.
Step 2 is celebrating the shit out of those small wins.
So for those of you who were waiting for a list of things you can do to celebrate the shit out of your small wins, here it is!
Some of these things might seem small. They might not be as epic as you might have wanted them to be. But there’s a reason for that.
So many of us struggle to make time for the things we love. We feel like we have to justify doing something nice for ourselves. It might not seem like the world’s grandest list, but have a look at the list and work out when the last time you did some of them were.
You might be surprised.
And I think there really is something to be said about trying something new as a way of celebrating the shit out of your small wins.
While you’re riding on that wave of feeling good about yourself, use it to expand your comfort zone a bit more. Use your faith in yourself to propel yourself.
There is one thing I’ve missed off that list.
And that is to do nothing, just bask in it.
Sit with it, feel proud and give yourself some space to do nothing.
Because there are so many things you do in your life that you don’t stop to think about. There are so many small accomplishments that we make that we pass off like they’re nothing.
But they’re not nothing.
They’re something.
And if we’re looking at the big picture of our lives, they’re a pretty big fucking something.
All of those small things you do? They add up. And the small steps you take towards doing something that scares you, that light you up, that move you closer towards your dream?
They really are the huge ones. And you’re pretty fucking brave.
So find something to celebrate right now (because there’s something that needs celebrating right this minute), and celebrate the shit out of it.
26 Ways-to-Celebrate-the-Shit-out-of-your-small-wins
I'd love to know any ways you celebrate your small wins! Let me know in the comments below!
You are enough!
You are enough. Everything that you’ve done, everything that you’ve been through – they make up a story of who you are, sat here, right now reading this. Some of those things will have been great, some of those things will have been downright shit, but they make up the person you are right now at […]
You are enough. Everything that you've done, everything that you've been through - they make up a story of who you are, sat here, right now reading this.
Some of those things will have been great, some of those things will have been downright shit, but they make up the person you are right now at this moment.
And let me tell you - you are a fucking amazing person who has so much to give to the world.
You're not regular Joe from the status quo. You don't live your life with a fill in the blank narrative - you're choosing your own path and you're hitting the ball out of the park. And that is brave, really brave.
And sometimes people are going to criticise you. They're gonna try to shit on your dreams because they don't understand you and they think they know better and what's in your best interest. But they don't. Because you and only you, are the only one certified to write the bible of your life. You have more wisdom than you know and you are able to make good decisions.
You don't need to change who you are. You really don't. Anyone who says you do has their own agenda - one that benefits them and doesn't benefit you. You can either spend your whole life trying to change who you are and feeling like you'll never be enough, or you can try believing that you're enough and start living a life from that place instead.
You don't need to do what's expected of you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to life - you get to do it your way and light that beacon of nonconformity to other people. And sometimes life isn't going to go the way you plan, and sometimes there's going to be bad bits. But we all have bad bits, and sometimes sharing your bad bits with other people is going to make them feel less alone, and let them see that they too are enough.
It's your life - you get to create your own adventures. You get to make your own stories and you get to be the central character. And you're a pretty awesome heroine. (But I think you know that already...)
You are enough, and you matter.
50 ways to show yourself you matter
No matter who you are, where you live and what you do, I don’t think anyone can have too many reminders that you matter. That being said, as passionate and compassionate women, I think often we spend so much time boosting other people up, and not enough time making ourselves feel valued. That’s why I […]
No matter who you are, where you live and what you do, I don't think anyone can have too many reminders that you matter. That being said, as passionate and compassionate women, I think often we spend so much time boosting other people up, and not enough time making ourselves feel valued.
That's why I wrote a list of 50 ways to show yourself you matter. Because sometimes, it's hard to give ourselves that boost. Sometimes we lack inspiration, and sometimes it slips our mind completely. Use this list as a checklist, print it off and keep it somewhere you can see it or write you own!
Remember, you matter just as much as the people you're looking to help and inspire. You matter just as much the causes you're fighting for. You matter. Period.
1. Cook yourself your favourite meal
2. Buy/pick yourself a bunch of flowers
3. Watch re-runs of your favourite shows/ have a netflix binge
4. Schedule a nap
5. Keep a list of compliments people have given you
6. Send yourself a love letter
7. Buy yourself a new book
8. Watch your favourite film
9. Organise a date night for one
10. Start a gratitude diary
11. Bring affirmations into your life
12. Write yourself permission slips
13. Have a one person dance party
14. Write funny memories on post it notes and put them around your bed
15. Learn a new skill
16. Go on a day trip
17. Give yourself permission to daydream,
18. Have coffee with the people you love in your life
19. Take a book/podcast to a coffee shop and enjoy time on your own
20. Say no to unreasonable demands
21. Put your favourite song on repeat and sing like your life depends on it
22. Only say yes to things that light you up and make you feel good
23. Meditate
24. Wear that dress you've been saving for a special occasion
25. Bake a cake/buy yourself a nice pudding
26. Read your favourite childhood book
27. Watch your favourite childhood film
28. Make something
29. Send yourself a postcard
30. Watch the sunset
31. Watch the sunrise
32. Feed some ducks
33. Go for a walk and enjoy your own company
34. Write a letter to your younger self
35. Watch something funny/make yourself laugh
36. Write nice things about yourself on your mirror with lipstick
37. Think of 3 qualities that you like most about yourself
38. Write down your values
39. Step outside your comfort zone and trust in yourself
40. Savour a hot drink
41. Take yourself out for breakfast
42. Start a scrapbook
43. Write a list of things you've done that you're proud of
44. Frame a favourite photo & put it on your nightstand
45. Keep and feed a pretty plant or cactus
46. Write a list of things that make you feel alive, and schedule those things into the next week
47. Block off half-hour (minimum) every day just for yourself
48. Eat a bowl of fresh fruit
49. Start a blog/journal - capture your life and share your story
50. Write your life as a short story, with you as the badass heroine
51. BONUS start every week on a great note with my free Sunday Reminders straight to your inbox!
[et_bloom_inline optin_id="optin_4"]
Go on, go fall in love with yourself!
5 TED Talks to Increase Your Self Love
Anyone who’s been around me for more than twenty minutes knows that I’m a fan of surrounding myself with inspiring people. And then sharing those people with everyone around me! I live for things that give me the chance to see something from a different perspective, bring more joy to my life and the world, and […]
Anyone who's been around me for more than twenty minutes knows that I'm a fan of surrounding myself with inspiring people. And then sharing those people with everyone around me! I live for things that give me the chance to see something from a different perspective, bring more joy to my life and the world, and inspire creativity.
They could be people in my life, experiences or places I've been to. Or they could be the podcasts I listen to, books I read and the things I watch on the internet.
I find myself recommending similar things time and time again. If I see something I love, I have to share it. And a lot of those things are TED Talks.
So, I wanted to take some time today to share with you my all time favourite TED talks. Some of these are well know, some of the lesser known, but they all have one thing in common.
They share with us how to live a more truthful life, a life where we feel valued and a life where we're not afraid to love ourselves.
Watch them all at once, bookmark this page to come back to, take time to view them on a shitty day. Whatever works for you.
Today's the day to stand up and own who you are!
1. The Danger of a Single Story - Chimamanda Adichie
[Tweet "Self Love Reminder: Find your story, own your story, and share your story."]
https://youtu.be/D9Ihs241zeg?t=13s
2. The Power of Vulnerability - Brene Brown
[Tweet "Self Love Reminder: You are enough"]
https://youtu.be/iCvmsMzlF7o?t=15s
3. Want to be happy? Be grateful - David Steindl-Rast
[Tweet "Self Love Reminder: Every moment is an opportunity. Stop. Listen. Go."]
https://youtu.be/UtBsl3j0YRQ?t=12s
4. The Art of Asking - Amanda Palmer
[Tweet "Self Love Reminder: You are crazy badass & people will love you"]
https://youtu.be/xMj_P_6H69g?t=11s
5. Why Some of Us Don't Have One True Calling - Emilie Wapnick
[Tweet "Self Love Reminder: Own your awesomeness. You're not a misfit, you have a gift. "]
https://youtu.be/QJORi5VO1F8
As always, I'd love to hear from YOU! I'm always on the search for great talks, so if you have any recommendations, pop them in the comment box below or send me a tweet @megkissack :) <3
Why stepping outside of your comfort zone is like being in a dystopian novel
The other day I saw a card that read ‘stepping out of your comfort zone has never killed anyone’. At the time, I chuckled and kept on walking. I was on the way home from work and when you’re commuting in London, you don’t really stop, stare and think. (People will stand on you.) Stepping outside of your comfort […]
The other day I saw a card that read ‘stepping out of your comfort zone has never killed anyone’. At the time, I chuckled and kept on walking. I was on the way home from work and when you’re commuting in London, you don’t really stop, stare and think. (People will stand on you.)
Stepping outside of your comfort zone doesn’t mean auditioning for a Broadway Musical, or walking down your nearest high street stark bollocks naked. Though, if that’s your thing - go for it.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone is more about recognising where your comfort zone is, figuring out how often you step outside of it, and looking at the WHY.
It’s about and deciding that your desire to live life to the full is bigger than coming face to face with your fears. It’s about and seeing how far your potential stretches. It’s about knowing that you may fail, and doing it anyway.
It’s like dystopian novels, where the main character figures out the walls that they thought were built around them to protect them, restrain them.
They’ve become so afraid of what’s outside of the world, that it takes a long time to question the purpose of the wall.
They’re terrified of life outside the walls and it takes a while to see that life beyond the walls gives them more freedom, adventure and ability to be, than the walls that cage them.
Stepping outside of your comfort zone? It's learning that there’s more to life than the box we’ve built for ourselves.
Stepping outside of our comfort zone is about seeing if those wing you've been building for yourself will let you fly.
Learning to choose yourself over unrealistic expectations.
A lot of us set ourselves high expectations. Sometimes they’re not realistic, and we spend time beating ourselves up, full of self sabotage. That’s why I want to share my story of ‘failure’ with you today. A month ago, I wrote here on my blog about this year being the year to complete NaNoWriMo (50,000 […]
A lot of us set ourselves high expectations. Sometimes they're not realistic, and we spend time beating ourselves up, full of self sabotage. That's why I want to share my story of 'failure' with you today.
A month ago, I wrote here on my blog about this year being the year to complete NaNoWriMo (50,000 word novel in a month).
Well, it didn't happen.
I can officially say, I failed.
What actually happened?
Well, I got about a week in, got to just under 7,000 word and decided the pressure I was putting on myself just wasn't worth it.
I was starting to feel a sense of dread about writing every day; I knew it was unlikely that I would make the word count, and it even got to the point where I was starting to feel a bit nauseous and very stressed at just the idea because I've had so much else going on in November.
Because that's the thing about NaNoWriMo - you have to be willing to put most of your life on hold to complete it, and be able to completely 100% dedicate yourself to just your novel.
And you never know what will happen in a month.
Not to mention, that when you start off with a (very) vague plan and not much else, it's pretty hard. I mean, I didn't even have an outline of my story. I was a bit doomed from the outset to be honest.
Not that other people haven't managed it, but I for one didn't.
So I've officially failed.
But, what about unofficially?
Well, I'm fucking proud of myself.
I might not have finished but I made a great start. Writing aside, I was able to make the decision not to continue, instead of putting myself through the stress like I would have a couple of years ago. And I stopped when I was still enjoying myself, so I know it'll be a project I return to some day.
I had a good look at my expectations and chose myself.
I may have not been able to write a 50,000 word novel, but I've been blogging consistently, three times a week for the past three months (which works out to be about 30,000 words, with additional top secret side projects on the side). And that's no mean feat.
But it is not about the word count. It's about the fact that I've loved writing every single blog post.
I've got lists and lists of future post ideas, I feel really inspired, I feel confident with my writing and I'm enjoying it!
Isn't that the point?
You can apply this to any of your goals. Reframe the situation: you might not set out to achieve what you wanted to, but on the way, I'm sure you'll do things that you didn't think you would, and you'll find things that you've been wanting to do for a long time, that you're already doing without even realising it!
So I can officially say I'm ending 2014 without writing a novel, without achieving one of my dreams. But on the way, I collected more goals, that I have achieved and managed my expectations.
And they're worth their weight in Harry Potter books.
9 Life lessons from my house bunnies
Two years ago this month, I bought my two house bunnies, Harry and Gilby. Aside from providing eons of entertainment and cuteness, I think between them, they’ve modelled quite a few lessons about how to live a good – and very furry- life, which I’m going to share below like a proud mother: 1. Everyone […]
Two years ago this month, I bought my two house bunnies, Harry and Gilby. Aside from providing eons of entertainment and cuteness, I think between them, they’ve modelled quite a few lessons about how to live a good - and very furry- life, which I’m going to share below like a proud mother:
1. Everyone should binky with excitement.
** If you’ve never seen a rabbit binky, you have to check it out here. (It will make your day, or at least make you smile). **
As humans, generally speaking, we don’t randomly binky, or burst with excitement. Whether this is because we’re reserved, or we’re worried about being judged, I don’t know. But what I do know is that life would be a hell of a lot more fulfilling if we did show our excitement, and let loose once in a while! So next time you feel excited, or feel the random need to dance around, just go for it.
2. A good nap does a lot of good
Whether it’s mid morning, after lunch or late evening, Harry and Gilby LOVE a nap. Harold tends to lie like he’s impersonating roadkill, and Gilbert likes to flop on his side in the most dramatic manner possible.
The lesson here? Monitor your energy, and be OK with the times where there’s nothing you’d rather do than get back in bed with the duvet over your head and take a quick snooze. Nothing wrong with it, in fact, it’s quite cute. And we all like to be cute sometimes, don’t lie.
3. Boundaries are a good thing
Chances are, you probably don’t need to corner off parts of your house to stop yourself from eating cables, laptop charger wires, bank statements, the book you’re reading… you get the picture. (If you do, I can totally help you with this). But what you do need is to have healthy boundaries around your health, your relationships, your work and your time, to be able to take care of you and make sure you treat yourself, and others treat you in a way you like. So go corner off the parts of your life that you want to protect and put up good barriers to keep them clear.
4. Stomp like your life depends on it
When a rabbit in the wild is in danger, they stomp to alert other rabbits of the danger. When you have a house rabbit (that has no concept of real danger), they stomp when you don’t feed them on time, when they don’t like their hay, when they want attention, and when they want you to come downstairs in the middle of the night and think someone’s breaking in. When you have two house rabbits, they do all of the above, and set each other off and copy each other - no one tells you this when you decide to take the little bundles of fluff home. Short lesson here: put your foot down to things you don’t like, stand up for yourself, and expect to be treated in a way that is respectful. If not, stomp it like you mean it.
5. Staring into space helps
Gilby and Harry seem to find staring at the wall a leisurely activity. Apart from the times where they both stare at a particular spot in the room and stomp (and I get worried that my house is haunted), they seem quite content just to daze off. Some of my best ideas have come to me when I’m absent mindedly day dreaming or carrying out day to day tasks. Heck, the idea behind That Hummingbird Life came to me in the shower one day. Lesson here? Life is about showing up, and giving yourself space to daydream. You never know what thoughts are going to show up.
6. Everyone needs a cuddle sometimes
Nothing more, nothing less. But try and make it someone you know.
7. Appreciate the little things in life
A short story here. When Harry was a baby bunny, he lost half his body weight in four days, he nearly died but he didn’t, that’s all you need to know. The vet prescribed pineapple juice which we had to feed him through a syringe (to help his stomach) and I have never seen a happier or more excited living thing in the history of my life. And that was over pineapple juice! So while you’re planning big things and buying expensive things that you think are going to make you feel better about your life, don’t skip the small things. Chances are, when you look back over your life, it was the little things that will stick out the strongest and have the biggest impact on you.
8. Don't do what is expected of you
Despite everything you read about bunnies, Harold and Gilbert are totally un-fussed about carrots. I'd go as far as to say that Harold doesn't even like carrots. Not even a teeny bit. And people are always surprised when I tell them, or when they offer to look after them and assume that they just need to feed them carrots. In fact, carrots actually make them a bit ill. The moral of the story? Don't do things because you think you should or because you think it's expected of you. Do things because you want to, and because they make you feel good.
9. Things will always work out in the end
Whether they’re being binkying, napping, trying to get to cables, stomping, staring at the wall, being cuddled or drinking pineapple juice, all of the activities have one thing in common. Everything works out in the end. They wake up and trust that I’ll feed them. Which I do. They flip over and have a nap and trust that they’ll be rested. And they are. They vaguely clean themselves and trust that I’ll make a fuss over how cute they are. And I do. The lesson here? Everything will be alright, everything has a way of working out even if you can’t see it right now. And if everything’s feeling up the shitter right now, contact me and I’ll send you some pictures of the terrible twosome which I guarantee will make you go awww.
This one word could change everything
As passionate women who are committed to making an impact in the world, we tend to say yes a shitload more than we say no. Imagine: 1. A colleague asks you if you could do a bit of extra work as they won’t get round to it and they’ve got a really important deadline to meet. […]
As passionate women who are committed to making an impact in the world, we tend to say yes a shitload more than we say no.
Imagine:
1. A colleague asks you if you could do a bit of extra work as they won't get round to it and they've got a really important deadline to meet. You've always got on really well with this person on a personal level, but this isn't the first time they've asked. You wanted to get home normal time because you've had a really long week and it's the one night of the week where you have the house/flat to yourself. You can nearly hear that book calling you from your bedside table. But you know if you do that piece of work, it'll be great for your company, and it really doesn't take much.
2, A friend asks you last minute if you can have a quick look over a letter they're writing. You're rushing out of the house and need to get going, but you love your friend, and know it won't take long. You don't want to be late to dinner with your sister, but you're sure she'll understand when you explain it. Everyone usually does, afterall!
Let's say you say yes to both your colleague and your friend. Despite being completely different scenarios, there are two things that are happening here.
1) You technically could do it
2) You're putting their needs ahead of your own.
Technically, you could stay around to do that extra bit of work, or read over that letter for your friend. It probably wouldn't take you that long, and sometimes the end justifies the means right? Both are possible, feed into your image of being a good person (no offence, I'm completely with you here), and are pretty easy.
But let's throw a couple of other scenarios into the pot as well.
Technically you could create a pair of wings, go jump off a building and try to fly.
Technically, you could eat your body's weight in chocolate,
Technically, you could sell your left foot on the black market.
But it doesn't mean you're going to. You I could do all of those things, but it doesn't mean you should. They would end in a great result, to say the least!
The difference between the situation? Acknowledging the difference between could and should.
Let's shake shit up. Technically you could do it, but that doesn't mean you have to/should do it.
Here's the thing. When you say yes for the reason that you could do it because it is possible, your needs go further and further down the list. It's only something little, you tell yourself.
But when you add all of those little things together, including the energy and time, that leaves very little left for you.
They add up.
So here are some things to try out:
1) Most important, life changing tip - replace your shoulds with coulds
2) Deliberately say no to one thing that you could do, but you don't want to (for whatever reason).
3) Watch and monitor how people react when you say no. Is it what you expected, and how does that make you feel?
I don't know about you, but when I replace should with could, life feels a bit lighter. I feel like I have more choices, I feel like I'm a bit more free.
7 things to do on a shitty day
We all have bad days. For some of us they’re one offs. For others, they show up pretty regularly. It’s not about banishing the bad days, because like good old Dolly tells us, ‘if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain’. But it’s about being able to deal with crappy days […]
We all have bad days. For some of us they’re one offs. For others, they show up pretty regularly. It’s not about banishing the bad days, because like good old Dolly tells us, ‘if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain’.
But it’s about being able to deal with crappy days when they show up, and knowing how to respond to them.
Here are a some things you can do on down days, to help deal with what life throws at you.
1. Clear your schedule
This is more possible for some than others. The general rule of thumb here is this: what’s the worst possible thing that will happen if you cancel x, y and z, and will it matter to you next week?
If you simply can’t clear your schedule for whatever reason, do what you absolutely have to, and plan for something nice afterwards.
2. Make a playlist
I love music as therapy, and I don’t think there’s many things that can embrace how you feel as much as music. Try creating a Shitty Day Playlist. Fill it with angsty rock, opera, boy bands, whatever gives you your fix.
3. Find a quote and use it as a mantra
This is something me and a close friend do when we’re having a shitty day. We’ll send a quote we like from Pinterest to the other and repeat it as an affirmation. My favourite so far has been this beaut:
I'm an intelligent classy well educated woman who says fuck alot.
4. Do something mindless
Waste time on the internet, watch some trashy TV, play a game. Not every activity we do has to be meaningful or enriching.
5. Phone a friend
Sometimes this is the absolute last thing we want to do. Things are shit, we want to cut out the rest of the world and hide away under our duvet for the foreseeable future. But you’ll be surprised how you’d feel after talking to a good friend.
6. Get under that duvet
And own it like a motherhugger.
It might sounds woo woo, but when all else fails, put faith in the universe that things will get better. After all, what is life without hope?
7. Cry
Yep, you heard me. Let it all out. Everything feels better after a good cry. It doesn't have to be over anything particularly meaningful. Pen run out of ink? Let it out!
What do you do on a shitty day? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
The power of unexpected nice things
We all have bad days. For some of us they’re one offs. For others, they show up pretty regularly. It’s not about banishing the bad days, because like good old Dolly tells us, ‘if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain’. But it’s about being able to deal with crappy days […]
As someone who has been used to rushing about, being perpetually busy and placing high expectations on others, I've often found it hard to keep patience and keep frustration at bay with things being cancelled, delayed or people being late. I would get annoyed, my blood pressure would rise and I would quietly seethe. But, being the people pleaser that I tend to be, I would never say anything.
That was until I made a concerted effort to
Slow. The. Fuck. Down.
And my lens changed.
Instead of seeing cancelled appointments, and late friends as a nuisance and a bug bare, I now relish the time I didn't know I would have to myself.
Be it going to a cafe and taking time to watch the world go by*. Taking some time to appreciate something beautiful I never would have seen. Calling a friend who I always mean to call. This time can be used for self care, doing things you don't usually make time for and just giving you a space to breathe.
It's these unexpected nice things that are often the most vulnerable. They give us time to recuperate and reflect.
They keep us in the moment.
And these moments can be serendipitous. We may meet people we never would have. We may have thoughts that could lead to great plans and ideas. We may have a thought we may never have.
So, give your blood pressure a break when something doesn't go according to plan. Grab that stealer time and let yourself come to life.
* In fact, this is how this blog post came to be written, in a cafe with a stolen thirty minutes I didn't know I'd have.
How discovering multipotentiality felt like coming home
*This post is part of Puttyfest – celebrating the 4 year anniversary of Puttylike* It’s been a year since I learned of the term multipotentiality. Up until that point, I worried why I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t realise that having multiple interests and being good at a […]
*This post is part of Puttyfest - celebrating the 4 year anniversary of Puttylike* It’s been a year since I learned of the term multipotentiality.
Up until that point, I worried why I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life.
I didn’t realise that having multiple interests and being good at a multitude of things was even a thing. I thought it was a sure sign that I couldn’t make my mind up as to what on earth I wanted to do.
Feeling like the odd one out
Every one around me seemed to be settled, and had chosen the path they wanted to follow.
But for me, it was another story. I had so many projects whirling around in my head, there were so many things I wanted to try my hand out, and I still can’t think of many things worse than doing the same thing, in the same town, with the same people for the next forty years.
On the outside my life looked good.
On the inside, I was trying to work out whether I would ever be able to stop doing a hundred and three things at once, and if I would ever be able to recover from being perpetually busy.
This was around the time that I was starting to burnout. I looked at my life and couldn’t find much that was right.
Even thought I had landed what I thought would be my dream job, and moved in with my now fiancé, I had no energy, no longer wanted to see friends, and felt completely and utterly lost.
I had aimed for everything society deems acceptable - a stable pay check, a stable relationship and a stable home.
Dreams of achieving all of my goals at once faded with the need to pay my bills and manage my job.
Was this it?
I remember looking at friends who were travelling with envy, and wondering what had led me to the path more travelled.
I felt like I had been given someone else’s life, which was less than the perfect fit.
My anxiety was increasing, I was beyond stressed at work and was going to the doctors every week with a new ailment.
(Just slow down, they said.)
It was around that time that I was signed off work.
In between sleeping, not feeling able to leave the house and googling how to relax, I came across lifestyle design:
The radical idea that you can design your life the way that suits you and fuck the rest.
I stumbled across Puttylike and it was like discovering another world.
MULTIPOTENITALITY WEB
A world where people merged the craziest of interests, were working to build a life that worked for them and were making a difference in their own way.
Reading about Emilie Wapnick and her movement of Puttypeeps, I felt a deeper calling that my life was about so much more than trying to make ends meet and making everyone around me happy.
It was like finding the missing jigsaw piece to a jigsaw puzzle you didn’t even know it existed.
I finally began to explore the nuances of my personality which had laid dormant under rigid expectations of who I thought I should be.
It wasn’t an easy journey, but by surrounding myself by people who were taking life by the horns, I began to realise that I wasn’t born to do just one thing.
Accepting myself
I began to understand that having such a variety of interests was an asset, and I didn’t need to settle for anything less than setting my soul on fire .
I saw that it’s not just okay to be someone who hasn’t just got one thing, but it’s a gift.
I don’t know where I’d be today if I hadn’t stumbled on a simple word called multi potentiality, or if Emily hadn’t bravely put herself out there in the world like she did,
I would probably be back hiding in my shell, sure I was missing a party somewhere, but with no idea where to look.
I’d be on a different path, that’s for sure.
Believe in yourself, not just other people
I’ve written before on my blog about how inspired I get by big adventures and taking risks. You know what it’s like. You’re watching your favourite team on a Saturday night (or like me, watching Nashville) and you’re rooting for them to score (or get back together). You’re watching your friend take make a big […]
I’ve written before on my blog about how inspired I get by big adventures and taking risks. You know what it’s like. You’re watching your favourite team on a Saturday night (or like me, watching Nashville) and you’re rooting for them to score (or get back together). You’re watching your friend take make a big decision and rooting for them, regardless of the outcome. You’re watching someone (anyone) taking a big risk and your heart is pounding, you’re holding your breath, hoping for the best outcome.
You’re aching for them, and sometimes it’s difficult to watch, but you can’t tear your eyes away. What’s so strange is the emotional investment we have in others (often strangers), in comparison to ourselves.
The sense of belief, the sense that everything will work out no matter what the outcome, the sense that when your best friend puts her heart on the line and to quote Brene Brown, dares greatly, you will be fucking proud of her no matter what happens.
What we’re not thinking about, when we’re watching our favourite player score (I don’t know what’s with the sports metaphors) is what’s going through their head.
The adrenaline, the fear of failure, the desperation to achieve, the way they feel alive, the way they’re worrying about letting themselves, and other people down.
We’re watching them, like they could fly. We’re hoping for them, we’re there with them.
Yet when we take risks ourselves, we mainly tend to focus on the what ifs; what if we fail, what if we don’t succeed, what if we regret it.
How often do we pause to think of what if we do so well that we fly?
Recently I’ve got (too) into watching vine compilations on YouTube and I think I’ve found my favourite which sums up what I’m trying to say perfectly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Wvg-U302D4
Check out the dog (in a life jacket). She begins cautiously, and look how, with a little encouragement, she spreads her little doggy paws and just fucking goes for it.
And all the way through (all of about 6 seconds), we are rooting for her.
We’re willing her to take the risk,
And she does.
We feel better. We smile.
Maybe this is just me, but I feel so proud of that little corgi, and I find it bizarrely inspiring.
So next time you’re wondering whether or not to take that risk, think of the corgi. Think of how you could fly.
And think of how you’ll be happy with yourself for doing it, even if you don’t sprout wings.