1698: Expectations vs reality
Today's a juicy one, as we dive into the loop of high expectations leading to disappointment, and how we can shake things up.
Episode transcript:
Good morning, Daily Peppers, and a very happy Thursday to you. So I thought we'd jump into a juicy one today and dive into the difference between anticipation and expectation. Now, I am somebody who has struggled with high expectations my whole life. And when I say I've struggled with it, I mean that I build something up into my head to such a fabulous height that the reality rarely comes close. And then when I do do the thing, rather than enjoying being in the moment and enjoying all the things that I didn't expect, I often found myself instead focusing on all the ways it didn't meet what I thought it would be. And I just really ended up disappointed. Now, one of the things I really hoped I'd get out of our long-term travel experiment was a new way of thinking about expectations, or just to change this kind of wonky thinking. Because I realized that kind of instead of wearing rose-tinted glasses, I was wearing shit-tinted glasses, and it just wasn't much fun.
And I think the biggest thing I've learned is that the The before and the during are 2 completely different things. The anticipation stage is so much different to the living-in-it stage, and it's okay if they both look different. For example, before we went traveling, I spent so long looking up each place we would go to, mapping out everything, and when we got there, I really enjoyed going down the random side streets And the things that brought me the most joy were things that probably didn't appear on many of the lists I'd made. And in fact, I forgot that I'd made most of them. And the same with our recent move to Liverpool. I have thoroughly enjoyed putting Pinterest boards together, thinking about all the things I'm gonna make, and I have this vision of our really cozy flat. And now that I'm in it The fact that it's not really cozy already and I don't have my dreamy gallery walls does not bother me one bit. I am sat here, we haven't got lampshades yet, we've got a couple of lamps which are kind of playing musical chairs based on where we are, and I'm really, really happy.
And I think the thing here is that one doesn't invalidate the other. The Pinterest boards, the research, the anticipation I really got to savor that in the build-up. And because I don't have such a fixed view on what I think my life should look like at this exact moment and what the flat should look like at this exact moment, I'm actually really able to enjoy where I am right now without picking holes in it. So if, like me, you struggle with expectations and reality meeting those expectations, what if it is a case of they are 2 separate processes? One does not negate the other. In fact, I think they complement each other really well. I know there was a research study done where people enjoy planning their holiday nearly, if not more, than the holiday itself. And we get to enjoy the anticipation and the buildup and the excitement. And we can also enjoy and get curious about the unexpected joys that might be waiting on the other side of the actual thing That we don't even know about.
So that is some serious brain food for you this morning. I hope you have a fabulous Thursday, and remember, as always, that everything changes when you believe that you matter, and you really do.
Transcription automatically produced by Castmagic.io
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The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women.
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Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines.
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