The 'secret' to getting creative work done and chasing your dreams
When I first started writing, at a very young age, I was obsessed by how other writers achieved success. What writing habits did they adopt? Where did they write? Did they type or hand write? How did they map their novels? What kind of pen were they using? I thought this knowledge was the secret […]
When I first started writing, at a very young age, I was obsessed by how other writers achieved success. What writing habits did they adopt? Where did they write? Did they type or hand write? How did they map their novels? What kind of pen were they using? I thought this knowledge was the secret to my own writing success. If only I could find something that sounded like it could work like me. If I kept researching their habits, reading interviews and trying to uncover their secrets, then I could achieve the same success. Or I could get out of my writer’s block (oh, the irony). Either way, I thought it was a bit of a magic hack to the success that I wanted to happen.
It took me years to work out that was bollocks.
(Hopefully you get that the title was ironic!)
But it didn’t feel like it at the time. It felt like the way to go about things. I thought I was doing the sensible thing. I thought it would make me feel more inspired and keen to get on with my own work.
It didn’t. It blocked me like a toilet at Glastonbury.
I was copying all these things famous authors were doing, but they weren’t working.
New pen. Check
New notebook. Check
Wake up early and write. Check
Wake up late and write. Check.
Attempt to plot novels on napkins. Nearly.
I was SO obsessed with having a routine and word count that I was writing a grand total of jack shit.
And when I did have an idea, I would obsess over whether it could work to the point that in my head the idea turned into this ridiculous thing that was never going to work out.
I didn’t write for a long time.
I bought new notebooks, like I could purchase hope and inspiration in cold hard cash. After the first page, they lay completely empty. A beautiful reminder of my inability to believe in myself.
That was until I started this blog. I didn’t even think about the fact that I was writing. I just let words tumble out onto the laptop, in a way that made sense to me.
I started to think more about life, and write about what I saw. I had so much to say that I knew someone needed to hear other than me.
And I left that world of authorship, obsessing and watching other writers become successful. Instead, I started to focus on what needed to come out of me. Because SHIT was there a lot of stuff.
And along the line I realised something.
There is no hack. There is no special habit or routine. There is no one way of going about it. JK Rowling started out just like me and you. An urge to put her shit into the world.
So there is no hack. But there is a difference.
And that lies in actually getting on with it and doing the work.
Maybe that's the big secret.
The problem with looking to other highly successful creatives is that we don’t see the unpublished works. We don’t see the really bad first drafts. We don’t see the amount of paper or documents that got sent to the trash can.
And we don’t realise that they’re just doing something that they found works for them. They got to a point where they too were able to block off the noise and just do the work.
And they worked fucking hard.
To borrow the words of Macklemore:
The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint,
The greats were great cause they paint a lot
And when we look to other people, we get so sucked into what works for them that we completely forget what works for us.
And whether we realise it or not yet, we know a lot about what works for us.
Have a look at the following questions and you’ll be surprised that you know more than you think about what works for you
What time of the day do you feel more inspired?
What do you feel the urge to do? It doesn’t have to make sense
What motivates you?
Why do you want to do the work/create what you want?
Do you like typing or handwriting ideas?
Do you work better with music?
Does the environment make a difference to you? If so, what helps?
You have all the answers inside you. But first of all, it starts with doing the work and turning down the noise; the noise of what everyone else is doing, what they’re achieving, what their process looks like. Everything.
Focus on you.
Part of being a trailblazer is doing things because they make sense to you.
Start with that.
Whether you own an online business, design stationary, write books or want to do you own thing, whatever that looks like, what can you do RIGHT NOW to reduce the noise and listen to yourself?
Challenge: Admit your dreams to yourself
Dream chasing is a funny thing. The term gets bounded around like there’s nothing easier in the world. Yet we don’t really speak about our dreams. Often not even to ourselves. We may have our vision boards in Pinterest (stay tuned for an upcoming post on using Pinterest to create your Vision Board), we may […]
Dream chasing is a funny thing. The term gets bounded around like there’s nothing easier in the world. Yet we don’t really speak about our dreams. Often not even to ourselves. We may have our vision boards in Pinterest (stay tuned for an upcoming post on using Pinterest to create your Vision Board), we may roughly have a few goals written down, but they’re somehow distant and in that land of ‘somewhere, someday’.
(Or we’re told to just wait and they’ll appear, so we sit and wait for them to happen. But that’s a rant for another day.)
I think it's one thing talking about telling other people your dreams, but sometimes it's just as scary admitting our dreams to ourselves.
And sometimes we don’t even acknowledge our dreams. Or they're resigned to the page of a beautiful notebook that we're too scared to write in. They’re too overwhelming. Or we’ve convinced ourselves we would fail or it wouldn’t work out even before we’ve started thinking about them properly.
But sometimes they force themselves up from where we’ve been hiding them.
And they come out in a rage of bravery, when we're feeling on top of the world and everything feels possible. This happens when we allow ourselves to really dream big for a second and our inner critic goes away long enough to let us go to places we're usually too scared to go.
And that feeling doesn’t usually last too long.
But it’s crazy exciting when we get to that place, but it’s also terrifying. It’s like admitting that we have to act on them, that we need to find a way to handle our inner critic(s) and shit does get real.
And they’re actually possible. *Gulps*
I only started writing down my actual real-life-shit-this-could-happen-fuck-me-this-is-scary dreams down recently.
And it took guts.
Real fucking guts.
It was scary.
I was led there on my bed at 1am, almost paranoid that the world was judging me. I might as well have put my arm around what I was writing like a primary school child who doesn’t want to be copied on a test.
I didn’t realise my dreams were as big as there were. I’d never taken the time to actually write them down, and like what usually happens when we put pen to paper, they developed. They became more lucid. They became concrete things to work towards. And in that moment, they actually felt achievable. They felt like they were something legit I could work towards.
That was 1am in the morning when I was feeling inspired and the courage was raging.
And since then I’ve thought about them in a whole variety of moods. And they’ve felt unrealistic, unachievable, absolutely within my reach if I work hard enough, possible, stupid and everything inbetween.
This dream chasing stuff is scary shit. Don’t get fooled by all the pretty pictures into thinking that it’s not.
Because it is really scary when you come face to face with something you really want. Our minds are so programmed to think about how we would deal with failure and things going wrong that we don’t often go to that place. We don’t go to the place where we actually envision it happening.
But I’m working on it. I’m working on finding creative ways to display my dreams around me so they become the new normal, and an actual real life goal instead of this mini-fantasy film in my head. (I’ll share them with you as I find them).
So this week I have a dare for you. And that dare is to join me.
Create a space for yourself that feels safe. Do it on your own in the dead of night or in the hustle and bustle of a busy coffee shop.
Write your dreams on a post it note. Forget the beautiful notebook for now - just get them down. And don’t judge yourself.
Put on earphones or your headphones with music that makes you feel alive and let yourself daydream. Give yourself five judgement free minutes and play around with those two powerful words ‘What If?’
And then put the post-it somewhere you’re going to look at it. This could be in your purse, it could be on your bookshelf, it could be a note in Evernote on your phone.
Let it become the new normal.
We can do this.
Introducing The Couragemakers Podcast
In extremely exciting news, The Couragemakers Podcast launched this week! And it has blown my mind. I started Couragemakers because I wanted to speak to women all over the world, women like you and me – mission driven doers, makers and world shakers, about their dreams, their stories, and get really vulnerable and courageous about what […]
In extremely exciting news, The Couragemakers Podcast launched this week! And it has blown my mind. I started Couragemakers because I wanted to speak to women all over the world, women like you and me - mission driven doers, makers and world shakers, about their dreams, their stories, and get really vulnerable and courageous about what sets them on fire as well as the monsters that hide under their beds.
Because putting stuff in the world takes a shitload of courage, and sometimes it feels like a lonely and scary place.
And I wanted to start a movement (download the beautiful manifesto here). A movement of women choosing ourselves, owning and sharing our stories, and embracing and celebrating our every day courage.
I can't tell you how much I'm enjoying the experience, how much I have been blown away by the conversations I've had. How honest they've been, how inspiring every woman I've spoken to has been, and how willing they are to share their stories to help others.
This has been such a journey for me. Going from a job that sucked the soul out of me, left me feeling a shell of the person I once was, and feeling like I had nothing to give to the world, to THIS - it's amazing. I feel like I'm using my strengths and skills to put the great shit into the world I was meant to. It's been vulnerable as hell, but seriously, I am enjoying every second of it. (Well, perhaps not when the editing goes wrong, or the mic plays up... but you get what I mean.)
I even released a prequel where I got SERIOUSLY vulnerable and honest about my vision for the podcast and why I started the podcast.
If you haven't checked out the podcast and you're a mission-driven doer, maker or world shaker, I think you're going to really enjoy the honest and vulnerable conversations we're having.
If you want to subscribe on iTunes click here.
If you use Android, click here.
And because I'm all about celebrating the shit out of your wins, here's how the Couragemakers has gone down this week. (Eg. This is really surreal, and holy shit this is fantastic!)
The reactions and support have been AMAZING:
Finally getting started on the brand new #Couragemakers Podcast today! @megkissack Because I could always use more inspiration
— Ashley Lorelle (@ash_lorelle) March 2, 2016
Loving the #Couragemakers manifesto by @megkissack - now displayed behind my computer to remind me what's important pic.twitter.com/5GzllRMsIN
— Kate (@iamkateevans) March 2, 2016
If you haven't checked out @megkissack's podcast get you are missing out my friend. https://t.co/WhZg2d9W6G
— Melissa Hebbe (@melissahebbe) March 3, 2016
@megkissack Found your blog this week and have been bingelistening to your podcast, Meg! I'd love to take part in your twitter chat :)
— Wendy (@TheGratefulist) March 3, 2016
Congrats @megkissack on the launch of The CourageMakers Podcast today! Go listen, it's amazing & Meg is lovely! https://t.co/MejbpvRD9n
— Michelle Anneliese (@manneliesemedia) February 29, 2016
New #Podcast launched #Couragemaker by @megkissack Important and inspiring conversations. Cheer up this rainy day and listen to it.
— AnabelRoqueRodriguez (@anabelroro) February 29, 2016
Literally cried reading @megkissack's Couragemakers Manifesto. Want to know how I feel about life? Read it! https://t.co/kuqvTOAmko
— Maria Northcott (@asweetstart) February 29, 2016
Umm, New & Noteworthy in iTunes?
AHHHH!!
My aim right now is to spread this podcast to every woman that needs it. I'm doing this by trying to get it into the top 16 of iTunes New & Noteworthy. If it gets into that exclusive spot, then it will be seen by literally millions of people. Think how many people we could inspire through that! If you want to help get it out to the world in a BIG way, leave a review/rating on iTunes and subscribe following this link here!
And this came from a woman who thought she might be able to make something kind of cool and put it off for a year because she didn't have the confidence, was being scared of being visible and didn't like the sound of her own voice.
Here's to courage and spreading it like fucking wildfire.
You are enough!
You are enough. Everything that you’ve done, everything that you’ve been through – they make up a story of who you are, sat here, right now reading this. Some of those things will have been great, some of those things will have been downright shit, but they make up the person you are right now at […]
You are enough. Everything that you've done, everything that you've been through - they make up a story of who you are, sat here, right now reading this.
Some of those things will have been great, some of those things will have been downright shit, but they make up the person you are right now at this moment.
And let me tell you - you are a fucking amazing person who has so much to give to the world.
You're not regular Joe from the status quo. You don't live your life with a fill in the blank narrative - you're choosing your own path and you're hitting the ball out of the park. And that is brave, really brave.
And sometimes people are going to criticise you. They're gonna try to shit on your dreams because they don't understand you and they think they know better and what's in your best interest. But they don't. Because you and only you, are the only one certified to write the bible of your life. You have more wisdom than you know and you are able to make good decisions.
You don't need to change who you are. You really don't. Anyone who says you do has their own agenda - one that benefits them and doesn't benefit you. You can either spend your whole life trying to change who you are and feeling like you'll never be enough, or you can try believing that you're enough and start living a life from that place instead.
You don't need to do what's expected of you. There's no one-size-fits-all approach to life - you get to do it your way and light that beacon of nonconformity to other people. And sometimes life isn't going to go the way you plan, and sometimes there's going to be bad bits. But we all have bad bits, and sometimes sharing your bad bits with other people is going to make them feel less alone, and let them see that they too are enough.
It's your life - you get to create your own adventures. You get to make your own stories and you get to be the central character. And you're a pretty awesome heroine. (But I think you know that already...)
You are enough, and you matter.
DIY Pick Me Up Box Tutorial
Sometimes making decisions can seem hard. Especially when things feel bleak. Sometimes we just need a pick me up. And that’s what this DIY tutorial is all about. When I was at the lowest point of burnout I was seriously struggling with depression and anxiety and my zest for life had vanished. I was finding it […]
Sometimes making decisions can seem hard. Especially when things feel bleak. Sometimes we just need a pick me up. And that's what this DIY tutorial is all about.
When I was at the lowest point of burnout I was seriously struggling with depression and anxiety and my zest for life had vanished. I was finding it hard, sometimes even impossible to leave the house, and life felt really shit. And I figured I needed to do something about that.
I'd decoupaged this box a while ago, and figured out a neat use for it. I'd write down all the things that brightened my day and quotes that inspired me, and would create my pick me up box.
Hence the pick me up box was born!
By creating a box of things you know bring you joy/inspire you, it takes the decision making out of the process, something that can really zap your energy/something you can't face when you lose all your enthusiasm or life feels shit.
Tutorial
You need:
A box (don't stress about it being the nicest box you've ever seen as this is a great delaying tactic. You can get a better box later.)
2 piece of paper (they should be visibly different from each other, eg. one lined/one paper or different colours
Pen
Step 1
Cut both pieces of paper into strips and separate the different pages into piles.
Step 2
Pile 1: On each strip, write the name of an activity that inspires you, relaxes you, gives you energy or makes you happy. (My list includes: If you don't have any deadlines - Netflix binge day! Arrange to meet a friend for coffee. Go make a cup of tea and take a book. Go for a walk. Put on Macklemore/Taylor Swift and dance. Have a one person dance party.
Pile 2: On each strip, write a quote that inspires you.
Step 3
Mix them all about and put the box somewhere near to your bed, or your desk - somewhere in easy reach!
Step 4
Use it. Remember it exists. Go to it when you're feeling low. And let it do its job. Let it pick you up when you're feeling low.
It's simple, but it's effective. Find a box and give it a go today. It won't take you longer than half an hour, and you'll have a great tool on hand when you feel tired, feel like giving up, or find life hard.
Enjoy!
Stop Playing It Safe
I could bet you my future wedding with Macklemore/Ryan Gosling that you don’t want to be Regular Joe From The Status Quo. Why? Because you’re here, you’re reading this blog for a start. I know you want to make a difference. You want to live a wholehearted life. You don’t want to be the same […]
I could bet you my future wedding with Macklemore/Ryan Gosling that you don't want to be Regular Joe From The Status Quo. Why? Because you're here, you're reading this blog for a start.
I know you want to make a difference. You want to live a wholehearted life. You don't want to be the same as anyone else.
You have dreams bigger than a supersize Big Mac. And that's not ok. That's fucking amazing. The world needs more people like YOU.
But sometimes, like me, you fall into the trap of playing safe.
And let's face it, sometimes it feels good to play safe. It's like being in your granny pants and PJs, wrapped up in bed with your favourite blanket, watching Netflix. You're in your comfort zone, it's familiar, it feels good. And your inner critic isn't yelling its head off.
But when you play it safe, you're not honing your own skills, your talents, your unique genius that makes you YOU.
It's like making a bacon sandwich and forgetting to put the bacon in.
I'm not just talking about taking big risks like quitting your job tomorrow to move to Nashville and starting your life over as a songwriter (however, you could do just that and it would be awesome).
I'm sick of people talking about taking risks, and them all having a huge financial implications.
Because there are so many ways you can change you life up, today, that are going to make huge differences to your life, improve your everyday and give you a much more wholehearted life which don't involve blowing your savings, moving halfway across the world or following someone else in blind faith.
What I'm talking about is the steps, you can take today, to enrich your life, put yourself out there in a way which is more bold, more courageous, more YOU. I'm talking about doing the things that set you apart, that make you feel alive and give you a sense of purpose in your life.
And those things could involve:
starting a novel you've been telling yourself you'll write for the past decade
sprucing up your wardrobe with bold colours - or even wearing the bold colours you own but you've not been sure of
making time for your art
starting a blog
planning that trip
learning a new way of using our skills
volunteering
starting an Etsy shop
planning regular dance parties with your friends via Skype
or whatever keeps you up at night wondering and curious.
That's not to say the big risks aren't worth taking. Sometimes they're the only possible outcome when you're stuck in a rut. If I hadn't quit my job, packed up my life, moved in with my to-be-in-laws and started planing and saving for my around the world trip with Mr. Meg, I'd still be sobbing at the bottom of the stairs, scared shitless that my dreams were dying and working in an environment that made feel approximately 1.2 millimetres tall.
But I think as a whole, the world heralds those huge risks and overlooks the everyday things that feel terrifying that can also massively improve your life.
So what's one thing you can do today to stop playing safe? What's one thing that's going to make you feel proud of yourself when you fall asleep tonight?
You can deal with dreamshitters. What you can't deal with is a life un-lived.
Dream Chasing: 30 things before 30
It’s a couple of days after my 25th birthday and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about life. About how slow time goes now I’m not having the same mundane day over and over again working at a job I hated. About how I have so many goals but because I only keep them in my head, […]
It's a couple of days after my 25th birthday and I've been thinking a lot lately about life. About how slow time goes now I'm not having the same mundane day over and over again working at a job I hated. About how I have so many goals but because I only keep them in my head, they end up feeling all over the place instead of exciting. And ultimately about how I need to take more risks and look fear in the face. So my 30 things to do before I'm 30 list started.
Why 30?
Because it sounded much more realistic than 101. And why before 30? Because I don't know where life is taking me, and that is EXCITING! For once, I don't have a 3 year plan and I'm not obsessing about the HOW but instead I'm focusing on the WHY.
If you'd asked the 21 year old me what my life goals were by 30, I'd probably have said to start my own charity, have children and and to have saved the world.My life looks a lot different now I've learned to manage my expectations and learn who I am and I couldn't be happier.
Because here's the truth of it.
I don't know what's going to happen. I certainly couldn't have predicted at 15 what I'd be doing at 25. I couldn't have predicted it at 20. Because so many weird and wonderful things have happened and so many opportunities have opened up as I've changed my perspective from a type a stress head to a recovering type a stress head!
So here goes with my list (in no particular order). It definitely feels pretty vulnerable putting it online! I'll be updating it as I go along and adding more things as I discover things I want to do that keep me up at night and keep my zest for life alive.
30 Things to Do Before I'm 30
(last updated August 2018, age 27, 2 and a bit years to go!)
1. Backpack across US DONE, India and South East Asia
2. Get tattoos
3. Ride/meet an elephant
4. Write a fictional novel
5. Finish my amazing patchwork throw made of fabrics I've collected on my travels
6. Create a big piece of art on canvas
7. Perform a live country gig
8. Become a spoken word poet and perform
9. Become location independent as a self employed person DONE!
10. Start and sustain a successful podcast DONE!
11. Speak in front of a live audience of 1,000 people
12. Publish a book (including self published)
13. Produce artwork & jewellery to sell
14. Edit and produce a magazine
15. Perform a stand up gig
16. Sustain and take That Hummingbird Life to the next level DONE!
17. Develop a better relationship with my body
18. Go to Nashville & dance my feet off DONE!
19. Actually pass my driving test
20. Write collection of short stories
21. Have a civil partnership with Mr. Meg and have the a festival wedding
22. Have my own line of stationery
23. Go to a silent disco, paint rave and colour festival
24. See Macklemore & Ryan Lewis live! DONE! TWICE - London & Vegas
25. Go on a creative retreat
26. Explore European cities including Amsterdam, Berlin, Prague, eastern europe
27. Write a postcard to myself every week for the next 5 years
28. Write, direct and perform my own one person musical (even if only to family and friends.)
29. Go to CMA fest & C2C DONE! Went to C2C, not so bothered about CMA fest now!
30. Learn to cook GOOD Tapas, Thai, Indian and American southern food.
So here goes! 5 years of very exciting things! I'd LOVE to know if you have a bucket list or how you've recorded your goals! Let me know in the comments!
A couragemaker’s guide to navigating the self help world
I’ve ranted a lot lately. About online gurus, about get rich quick schemes, and other bullshit that creates an alluring trap for couragemakers like you and me but ends up with us feeling worse in the long run. Now, believe it or not, the self-help (or as dream chasing as I prefer to call it) […]
I’ve ranted a lot lately. About online gurus, about get rich quick schemes, and other bullshit that creates an alluring trap for couragemakers like you and me but ends up with us feeling worse in the long run. Now, believe it or not, the self-help (or as dream chasing as I prefer to call it) and autobiographies sections in my local library are by far my favourite sections. For me, there's something so powerful in someone telling their story, and sharing their dreams, and being vulnerable as hell about where they’ve come from and where they’re going.
That inspires me above all else.
But it’s taken me a while to navigate that whole world and make it work for me.
When you're in a place of quiet desperation, you'll try near enough anything. But when you're in that place of quiet desperation, you're also incredibly vulnerable.
And let’s face it - we all need help sometimes. Whether you're wondering what to do out of college, trying to figure out how to chase your dreams, want to improve a relationship or want to up your confidence, sometimes we need a gentle reminder, or strategies to deal with something we’re going through.
And there’s a whole lot of help out there. Everyone wants to help. Everyone has an opinion. And let’s face it - there are a lot of people want to charge you thousands for things you already know. Some want you to buy into (quite literally), their way of doing things.
It’s a messy world.
As it stands right now, on Amazon UK, there are 405,108 books in the Mind, Body, Spirit section. In the kindle store, there are 253,342 e-books in the Self Help/Counselling section. That’s just books. That doesn’t include the thousands of self-help podcasts, the hundreds of thousands of life coaches online, or the thousands of YouTube clips on self-help.
Wow.
That’s a whole load of people with a whole load of different opinions on how they can improve your life. They have conflicting viewpoints, conflicting methods, and conflicting promises. But they all have something in common. They want to help you.
But where on earth do you turn to? Who can you trust?
That’s where these questions come into it. Answer them, and you’ll find a much better tactic of finding help that’s suited to you than just picking up the latest bestseller.
When you’re finished, you’re going to have a better idea of what you want, how you want it and what works for you. (Me? Ryan Gosling, on the kitchen table. Thanks.)
So, let’s get started!
What do you actually need?
What are you dealing with? And what do you actually need?
When you're looking for help (this also applies to when moaning to a friend about something), you generally want one of the following:
- Permission - and confidence to do something.
- Reassurance - that things will work out, that we’re a good person, that everything will work out okay in the end
- Confirmation - that you’re doing the right thing and you’re making the right decision
- Understanding and knowledge - you want to get down to the root cause of it. Knowledge is power!
- Actionable steps - easily laid out things you can do to get your where you want.
Figuring out what you need makes it a lot easier to find what you’re looking for. It’s also an excellent way of cutting out a lot of the shit!
What qualifies them to help YOU?
I used to trust easily and I used to be pretty naive.
Now things are different. I know that not everyone who says they want to help genuinely wants to help. Some are more motivated by money, and some bring absolutely no experience and aren’t qualified on any level to help.
The way I see it, if I’m going to take my vulnerabilities anywhere, I want to know that they know their shit, that I can trust the information I’ll receive. I want to be respected and I want to feel safe.
That’s why I recommend creating a quick mental criteria that someone has to meet (whether they’re an author, podcaster, or a coach you’re hiring) that they have to meet. My criteria might look differently to yours, but it looks a little something like this:
1. They have to have experience with what they’re dealing with. They have to be brave in sharing their story and respect that others are being courageous in just seeing help.
2. They have to be passionate about their subject area, and not just see it as a quick money-making scheme
3.They have to be realistic about what they’re promising.
4. Credentials and initials don’t mean shit unless they have the experience to back it up. Now, when I’m in the library, I flick straight to the about the author section before checking out a book. I want to know who the are to help me, and whether we’re a good match. Make your criteria, and stick to it!
What are they promising?
I’ve said this before, as have many people, and I’ll say it again. If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
If you’re struggling with your weight, if someone is promising you a bikini body in 6 weeks, it’s probably bullshit.
If you’re struggling with relationships and someone is promising you the perfect partner in 12 simple steps, it’s definitely bullshit. It’s a bit of a balancing act: having realistic expectations for yourself, and finding someone who can help on those expectations.
What works for you?
We all find motivations in different ways, and we all take things on board via different means. For me, I love podcasts and things that are very action oriented. The more practical the better for me. But we’re all different.
Do you like workbooks? Do you like practical exercises that gently take you outside your comfort zone and put what you’re learning into practice? Do you like working with someone 1:1?
Does the idea of sitting with someone and chatting it through sound like hell to you? Do you prefer reading a book or listening to an audiobook/podcast in the comfort of your own home with some privacy? Do you get motivated through watching?
It’s all about YOU. There is no right and wrong.
And I think where people go wrong when wanting to make a change in their lives, is buying into something that was never going to work for them in the first place.
Spend some time working out what works for you, and then when it comes to sorting shit out and making your life work for you, you’re more likely to find something that is actually effective. And a last couple of things on the topic:
Please, judge a book by its title
Perhaps you’re struggling because you’re single and you think your self-confidence is holding you back. Let me tell you, a book called something like ‘Little Black Dress: Why you’re still single and sitting on the shelf’ isn’t going to help you.
You don’t need to be shamed into changing. You don’t want to be told what you’re apparently doing wrong.
Chances are, you’re not doing anything wrong, and reading a book that makes you feel more shit about yourself is only going to feed your anxiety and problem. Nor is a book titled ‘Fat Pig: adventures in greed, rejection and flab’ going to help you with body issues.
And if you’ve picked up a book called '10 Short Steps To Success, Riches and Happiness', I think you know what I’m going to say.
Protect yourself
When you’re looking for help, chances are you’re in a vulnerable place. Look after yourself. Only give your heart to people you trust not to crush it.
Give yourself time, space, and celebrate the shit out of your small wins.
And finally, and perhaps most importantly...
Sometimes you don’t need anyone else. You have more wisdom than you know inside yourself. Ask yourself the question you want answered, listen hard for the answer, and trust yourself.
You matter, you’re the expert on your life, after all.
I’d love to hear what you think - let me know in the comments!
Guest Post: Encouraging and inspiring through creative afternoons
When Meg asked me if I could write a guest post about this, I was over the moon – the opportunity to be on her fantastic website and to share the experience I’ve had hosting craft afternoons, wow! But when I’ve tried to write it, it’s been more difficult than I expected. It’s so hard […]
When Meg asked me if I could write a guest post about this, I was over the moon - the opportunity to be on her fantastic website and to share the experience I've had hosting craft afternoons, wow! But when I've tried to write it, it's been more difficult than I expected. It's so hard to capture the emotion and the level of supportiveness and the small changes in people that occur. So please forgive me if I overuse words such as excitement and support and inspiration.
I love listening to women talk about creating
There's an excitement and a passion which shines through. And so often, these conversations are with people who "aren't creative" but who thoroughly enjoy knitting or cross stitch or whatever it is. Somehow being creative is so intrinsically linked with fine art that many people just can't get away from that. For the record, creativity is a huge spectrum of different techniques and processes and outcomes.
A creative afternoon
As well as listening to women talk about creating, I love getting women together to create. I had the honour of doing just that in August. An email went to friends, acquaintances and friends of friends inviting them for croissants, tea and making stuff. They were invited to bring works in progress, their own equipment or just to turn up and have a play with my stash of materials.
At previous creative afternoons I've taught some basic bookbinding, women have taught other women to knit and everyone has got involved. There has been an amazing organic nature to these afternoons, synchronicity that I could never have planned. This was no exception. Despite the normal "I'm not creative " protests, everyone went home having made something. It ranged from mixed media art work to cards to decorations and more. But the thing I hope everyone took away was inspiration and a feeling that they can be creative.
I think the key to these afternoons is very much the women themselves. I could provide the most amazing craft materials, books with instructions and inspiration, detailed tutorials etc but without the women, it would fall flat.
Women are often considered to be nasty, bitchy and judging when they get together in groups. But not these groups. This was a group of mostly strangers who were sat round my table, creating away and providing positive encouragement to everyone else. It's something I would love to see so much more of.
Genuine encouragement
I don't think I can begin to express how heart warming it is to see this in action - genuine support and encouragement between strangers, the amazement when people see that they have created something and the twinkling of the idea that maybe they are creative. It's beautiful.
So if you have a table, a bit of craft stuff and a kettle, get emailing! Invite everyone you know to a tea and creative (creativi-tea if you will) afternoon. I know it's an invitation I would love to receive.
Since I wrote this, I've come across
Mind's Christmas Crafternoons:
Crafternoon means getting together with friends, family or colleagues and holding an afternoon of festive crafting to have fun and raise money for Mind.
Make someone's Christmas and help us make sure no one has to face a mental health problem alone.
50 ways to show yourself you matter
No matter who you are, where you live and what you do, I don’t think anyone can have too many reminders that you matter. That being said, as passionate and compassionate women, I think often we spend so much time boosting other people up, and not enough time making ourselves feel valued. That’s why I […]
No matter who you are, where you live and what you do, I don't think anyone can have too many reminders that you matter. That being said, as passionate and compassionate women, I think often we spend so much time boosting other people up, and not enough time making ourselves feel valued.
That's why I wrote a list of 50 ways to show yourself you matter. Because sometimes, it's hard to give ourselves that boost. Sometimes we lack inspiration, and sometimes it slips our mind completely. Use this list as a checklist, print it off and keep it somewhere you can see it or write you own!
Remember, you matter just as much as the people you're looking to help and inspire. You matter just as much the causes you're fighting for. You matter. Period.
1. Cook yourself your favourite meal
2. Buy/pick yourself a bunch of flowers
3. Watch re-runs of your favourite shows/ have a netflix binge
4. Schedule a nap
5. Keep a list of compliments people have given you
6. Send yourself a love letter
7. Buy yourself a new book
8. Watch your favourite film
9. Organise a date night for one
10. Start a gratitude diary
11. Bring affirmations into your life
12. Write yourself permission slips
13. Have a one person dance party
14. Write funny memories on post it notes and put them around your bed
15. Learn a new skill
16. Go on a day trip
17. Give yourself permission to daydream,
18. Have coffee with the people you love in your life
19. Take a book/podcast to a coffee shop and enjoy time on your own
20. Say no to unreasonable demands
21. Put your favourite song on repeat and sing like your life depends on it
22. Only say yes to things that light you up and make you feel good
23. Meditate
24. Wear that dress you've been saving for a special occasion
25. Bake a cake/buy yourself a nice pudding
26. Read your favourite childhood book
27. Watch your favourite childhood film
28. Make something
29. Send yourself a postcard
30. Watch the sunset
31. Watch the sunrise
32. Feed some ducks
33. Go for a walk and enjoy your own company
34. Write a letter to your younger self
35. Watch something funny/make yourself laugh
36. Write nice things about yourself on your mirror with lipstick
37. Think of 3 qualities that you like most about yourself
38. Write down your values
39. Step outside your comfort zone and trust in yourself
40. Savour a hot drink
41. Take yourself out for breakfast
42. Start a scrapbook
43. Write a list of things you've done that you're proud of
44. Frame a favourite photo & put it on your nightstand
45. Keep and feed a pretty plant or cactus
46. Write a list of things that make you feel alive, and schedule those things into the next week
47. Block off half-hour (minimum) every day just for yourself
48. Eat a bowl of fresh fruit
49. Start a blog/journal - capture your life and share your story
50. Write your life as a short story, with you as the badass heroine
51. BONUS start every week on a great note with my free Sunday Reminders straight to your inbox!
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Go on, go fall in love with yourself!
13 things you'll gain from starting that big project
Today I’m sharing with you the big fuck off reminders life gives you when you’re undertaking any big project. Whether you’re writing a book, thinking of starting your own business, planning a wedding, or even thinking that you’d like a big project; there are so many great takeaways. Now, if you’re anything like me, you like […]
Today I'm sharing with you the big fuck off reminders life gives you when you're undertaking any big project. Whether you're writing a book, thinking of starting your own business, planning a wedding, or even thinking that you'd like a big project; there are so many great takeaways. Now, if you're anything like me, you like to take on big projects. Or the idea of taking on a big project. Over the last 3 months, I have completely overhauled That Hummingbird Life's website, and when I completed it, like most things in my life, I asked myself, what are the lessons in this?
Any big project will tell you a lot about yourself. Pursuing any big dream, and the hard graft that it takes to get there, will teach you invaluable lessons.
So whatever project you're working on, or even thinking of starting, hopefully these home truths will help and inspire you.
1. You find out what really matters to you
When we take on projects, of course we always have hopes and aspirations for the end result, but it's fair to say that a guaranteed and specific financial income isn't set in stone. Money might not even come into it, like many things in life we love. What that means is that so many of us are motivated by the things that matter to us. Fulfilment, working for a purpose, happiness, connection.
Taking on a project is a chance to get to the root of what lights us up. It's an opportunity to remind ourselves of what really matters, what we're working towards, and keep us grounded and focused. And no matter where we are in life, it's a welcome and much needed reminder for all of us.
2. You gain so much more confidence and resilience
Something will always go wrong last minute. And it's usually something you don't plan for. But it's not a reason not to try in the first place. After all, by the time you're near completing your project, you've gained so much self trust and confidence, the thing that goes wrong usually comes as a surprise. And as a result of that, you deal with it. It's a great cycle that shows you that you're able to deal with anything life throws at you, and in turn increases your confidence further. Win win.
3. Everyone will have advice but you have all the answers
E.V.E.R.Y.O.N.E. It might be well meaning from someone you love, it might be someone manipulating where you're at to sell you something (buy this book to write a BESTSELLING novel). Everyone loves to give out free advice. But somewhere in between starting out and really getting stuck in, you'll realise how much knowledge you already have. And how much listening to your gut tells you. And that's pretty fucking powerful stuff.
4. You realise you can't please everyone, and that's OK
The same way as everyone always has advice, everyone always has an opinion. And they'll give it to you, unsolicited at a moment's notice. If you have a friend/partner that you trust to tell you the truth (in a loving way), use them as a sounding board. But what many famous writers have advised around not telling everyone the whole story until it's done? I think there's some leg room in that. It's not your job to please everyone - it's an impossible goal, and you'll just end up feeling shite. But you'll learn that along the way, and that is pretty fucking powerful.
5. You have to trust in yourself, that you will be able to bring your vision to life
Putting your idea into words is hard. Explaining it can be even harder. Even with the most elaborate Pinterest boards or deck of notecards, it's hard to show other people your vision before it's come to life. But just because you can't find the right words, or other people seem confused as to what it is you're aiming for, doesn't mean that it's not going to happen. And it certainly doesn't mean your ideas are silly, or too big. In the moment when you're faced with fear and self doubt, remember that you had the idea. You have what it takes to bring it to life. And if people aren't understanding it just yet, it's more likely to be because you've tapped into something special, instead of your idea being intangible.
6. You'll accumulate a ridiculous amount of skills
You get such a larger set of skills by starting a project that sets your heart of fire, instead of starting out to just learn a skill. Instead of starting by trawling through technical details, you start with what makes you excited, and pick the skills you need up on the way. Research and development are two of the most essential parts when it comes to working on a project, and it's always worth writing a quick list of skills you accumulated after it's done. I guarantee you'll be surprised.
7. You have to start before you're ready
While research is important, it also functions as a defence mechanism against fear. When I was a teenager, I spent years buying writing magazines instead of just putting pen to paper. There's something safe about learning more about doing something, without actually doing anything. One thing starting a project shows you is that you'll never be 100% ready. There will always be something else you could have looked up, or something else you could have spent money on. But when you get that urge just to start already? That's an image that's going to stay in your head and motivate and inspire you for a long time to come.
8. You'll find courage you didn't know was there
Starting before you're ready takes a lot of fucking courage. And throughout all of the twists and turns of whatever you're working on, you'll find courage that you didn't even know existed. Courage to tell the outside world what you're doing. Courage to share yourself with the world, and courage to feel the fear and keep on going.
9. While everyone will marvel at what you've done, not many people will see the blood, sweat & tears
Dealing with other people's reactions is an important one. People will wonder where you found the time, where you found the energy and where the talent came from. It's always worth remembering that jealousy and admiration can be sides of the same coin, and the bitter ones? The words they speak say more about themselves than what you're doing. We're increasingly living in a world where people produce the latest shiny things as if it's as easy as taking a shit. They don't show you the messy bits, the late nights, the tears of frustration. They want to be seen as having it all figured out. 1) No one has it all figured out and 2) Seeing the messy bits shows that you're human. That you didn't come out of the womb dressed in a tutu and with an iPhone.
10. You learn that it's okay to take a break
You can only have so many sleepless nights, stare at the computer for so long, or read the same paragraph so many times. At some point, you're going to realise that, like it or not, you really need a break. Then you realise that when you're rested, you can get so much more done and it starts becoming fun again.There's nothing like tiredness and exhaustion to suck all the fun and enthusiasm out of your life like a dementor. When you learn that your mind and your body needs a break, and it's often the best thing you can do, life gets a hell of a lot easier.
11. Deadlines increase your ability to make decisions
When you have no timeframe, it's so easy to get caught up in analysis paralysis. Decisions can take days and it just gets really frustrating. But when you've got a big project and you set yourself deadlines, it can be a different story. Decisions that might have taken you a week to make? You don't want to stall the project for too long, so they're made much quicker. And you end up trusting your own judgement so much more. And self trust? That's something you're not going to find on Amazon.
12. There is no right feeling when you've finished
This is a big one for me. When you finish a project, it's a whole mixed bag of emotions. We can put too much pressure on ourselves to feel over the moon and enthusiastic. For me, right when I finish a project, exhaustion sweeps over me. Any sort of pride, or ability to give a fuck goes. Then a couple of days it all catches up with me and I get a huge boost. Whatever you're feeling, your feelings are legitimate. Just remember to mark it/celebrate it in some way!
13. You learn to manage your own expectations
Starting a big project can do wonders for managing your own expectations. We tend to downplay the things we're great at, simultaneously giving ourselves huge goals that aren't always attainable. Somewhere in the process, you start working out your own definition of success and managing your own expectations to something that makes you feel great.
Everyone's experiences are different, but I know one thing for absolutely certain. Starting a big project gets you closer to where you want to be. Whatever the motivating factor, the main thing is that you start.
Because once you start? The world is your oyster. You have so much genius only you can put into the world, and the world needs to see it! Wrestle those fears!
I'm looking forward to writing more posts on starting and planning projects.
I'd love to know any questions you'd love me to answer, or any experiences you've had in the comment box below!
6 fun and creative ways to practice mindfulness
I’ve always loved the ideas of sitting down with a candle, some relaxing music and meditating. Mindfulness appeals to the side of me that knows slowing down always does me good. But the idea has always been better than the reality. For a start, I struggle to make the time for it (I always say I’m going […]
I've always loved the ideas of sitting down with a candle, some relaxing music and meditating. Mindfulness appeals to the side of me that knows slowing down always does me good.
But the idea has always been better than the reality. For a start, I struggle to make the time for it (I always say I'm going to get up at 6am and meditate before the day has begun, but we both know that's not going to happen.)
And it's not just me. A lot of us struggle with mindfulness - whether we don't or can't make the time for it, our thoughts won't go away, or we've just never really got it.
But with mindfulness, I've always felt there's got to be another way.
Mindfulness coach Mary Tracy of Widdershins describes mindfulness as:
'Being in the present, but much more present in the present than you've ever been before. You stop thinking about what you will do in the next minute, 'In fact, you stop thinking altogether. You just "are", you exist, without thoughts'
According to the Mental Health Foundation, in 2010, 72% of GPs reported that they thought mindfulness-based treatments, such as meditation, would help their patients that have mental health problems.
And there's even a Mindfulness in Schools project in the UK, based on the positive effects of mindfulness on all; better able to deal with stress, more in tune with our happiness and general increase in wellbeing all round.
I mean, come on! We're a bunch of creative souls, and we're not giving up and missing out on those sweet benefits yet!
That's why I've been experimenting with other methods of being mindful. Finding things that are fun, tap into our creative sides, and also give us the same benefits as mindfulness:
Calm, peace, perspective and a sense that everything that's muddled in my head has been organised.
So here are my 5 tips for being mindful while getting your creative fix at the same time.
1. Grab your camera and go
Mindfulness if about living in the moment, and grabbing a camera and finding a new perspectives completely encompasses the point of mindfulness. Now, you don't need to be a photographer, you don't need a fancy camera either, just something you can point and click with and an eye for detail.
And up the mindfulness even further by creating a scrapbook or photo album. Or follow in the footsteps of the lovely Sam from Oh! Hello and do a 365 photo challenge!
2. Doodle
Seriously, I could talk all day long about how much I love doodling. I just pop my earphones in, grab a pen and follow where the pen fancies. I've also recently discovered the world of 'zenspirations', and I recommend watching this video right now if you've never heard of it.
3. Cook
Cooking can be SO good for the soul. Taking time, experimenting with spices, and just enjoying the whole experience. Pour over cookbooks (or good-looking stuff on Pinterest), go to the shop to buy specialist ingredients, and set the mood for a nice slow-paced, slow meal. Mmmmm.
(I'm going to let you into a little secret here - I LOVE peeling, chopping, watching the soup maker, everything. I could literally dedicate a day per week to each of those things. I mean, we have to get our kicks somewhere in life don't we? Ewww, not that way you filthy minded animal!)
4. Go for a walk
This is something I seriously need to make more space for in my life. When I was living in Cardiff, I lived about 3 minutes walk from a river, and sitting on a log, staring into the water and watching the ducks was the best way to practice mindfulness and clear that brain of mine. For once, leave the headphones at home, turn your phone on silent and just walk somewhere nice and sit and watch the world go by. It's amazing what ideas will come to you when walking, and how problems just seem to walk themselves better!
5. Rearrange things
I love re-arranging things. As in, mixing things up, turning the bed this way or that way, buying a new duvet set, getting some vases and photo frames and just making myself feel at home. Now, I'm no domestic goddess (to say the least) but a good tidy round and mix up can be really good for the soul. Change where things are, don't let rooms stagnate and surround yourself with things you love. Like these amaze-balls postcards I picked up at the Renegade Craft Fair in London by the awesome Emma Margaret.
Pick things you love and look at them every day!
6. Sing!
Everyone I know would happily tell you that I'm not the most quiet person to live with. I'm a firm believer than singing goes with everything! Whether you sing like an angel (don't buy into that bullshit!) or you've just got a fair pair of pipes on you, sing out loud to the songs that make you the happiest. Get lost in the tune, make up your own lyrics if you don't remember them!
Mindfulness doesn't have to be hard. It doesn't have to be something we think other people can do, not us. We're all already practicing mindfulness in our own way already - whether it's daydreaming on the bus, staring into space when watching TV or getting a nap.
But when we start to do it consciously to calm our minds down - that's when we're really going to see those rewards.
Now, go stir up those creative juices and enjoy all the benefits of mindfulness at the same time.
Go! There's never a better time that right now!
Self care is hard
There’s this myth out there that self care is eeeaasy. It’s like this ridiculously simple thing that needs no attention. Simple as running a bath right? It’s not easy If this whole self care thing was easy, we wouldn’t end up burnt out, exhausted and coming down with colds after stressful weeks. If self care was easy, […]
There's this myth out there that self care is eeeaasy. It's like this ridiculously simple thing that needs no attention. Simple as running a bath right?
It's not easy
If this whole self care thing was easy, we wouldn't end up burnt out, exhausted and coming down with colds after stressful weeks. If self care was easy, you wouldn't have travel agents trying to get you to buy a trip to some luxury beach resort for thousands of pounds, just so you could unwind.
No, self care is hard. Maybe the act of actually doing things that make us feel good isn't typically hard (say, cuddling a furry pet, getting lost in a good book, going for a walk), but actually getting around to it and noticing it as something that's as vital as a looming deadline is.
Our lives aren't simple
There are always conflicting priorities. There's caring responsibilities, ridiculous work hours/pressure, insanely cute children, just to begin the list. All of us have so many things going on in our lives that tug us in different direction.
And when there are a million of things you could be doing, and feel that you should be doing, sometimes it's pretty hard to lay the boundaries down hard.
It's hard to make the active decision to do something that makes you feel good, even though it's naturally is going to have a positive effect on the rest.
We all know that, but it doesn't make it any easier. Not when we're in the mindset, and the habitual behaviour that our needs come last, and there's always something more important than needs doing.
So this week, I give you this challenge
When you're feeling stressed, like you're being tugged in different directions, or even if you're in one of those
Why believing you matter will change your life (and the world)
The below image is the front page of my Radical Self Love Bible (if you haven’t already checked it out, I can’t recommend the Radical Self Love Bible School by Gala Darling enough!) And I’m really happy with my front page, because it reminds me that no matter how shit a situation it is, if you can not […]
The below image is the front page of my Radical Self Love Bible (if you haven't already checked it out, I can't recommend the Radical Self Love Bible School by Gala Darling enough!)
And I'm really happy with my front page, because it reminds me that no matter how shit a situation it is, if you can not only remember but believethat you matter, then you can get through all sorts of things.
Small changes and big changes, good things and great things - they all stem from believing that you matter.
But the most important thing? It's about hearing it from ourselves, not relying on other people to make us feel great.
Other people are great at telling us what we're doing wrong, and what we can improve, and that's what we end up focusing on. Think about it - when was the last time someone gave you criticism?
Now - when was the last time someone complimented you?
It's harder to remember the last one isn't it? And I bet the negative comment played on your mind for a lot longer.
The thing about feeling like you matter, is that when you start believing it, all kinds of things start falling into place.
You start making decisions from a different place; one of self value and worth. You start treating yourself better, which can only be good, and you start suddenly finding routes and ways for things you've been wanting to do but thought were a long distant dream.
Sounds good, right? So how do we go about believing that we matter?
Practical Tips
1. Do something you're good at, often. It doesn't need to be so impressive. Recognise your strengths and play to them when you can.
2. Do something you enjoy. It's as simple as that. Get lost in something that makes you feel amazing, and live in the moment.
3. Build a protective bubble around things that make you feel shitty. Have a job you hate? A relative that makes you want to scream? Build great things around the time you spend doing things that aren't so great, and remember them, often.
4. Do something that scares you. When you face fear and do something that scares you (even if only a little bit), you get to see first hand just how strong you are, and how you can tackle things you never thought you could.
5. Think about the things you'll regret not doing, and try and find a good reason not to do them. If you can find one, forget it. If you can't, make a plan.
You fucking matter. You really do. And it's when you start to value yourself that you make the change in the world, that only you can do.
9 Life lessons from my house bunnies
Two years ago this month, I bought my two house bunnies, Harry and Gilby. Aside from providing eons of entertainment and cuteness, I think between them, they’ve modelled quite a few lessons about how to live a good – and very furry- life, which I’m going to share below like a proud mother: 1. Everyone […]
Two years ago this month, I bought my two house bunnies, Harry and Gilby. Aside from providing eons of entertainment and cuteness, I think between them, they’ve modelled quite a few lessons about how to live a good - and very furry- life, which I’m going to share below like a proud mother:
1. Everyone should binky with excitement.
** If you’ve never seen a rabbit binky, you have to check it out here. (It will make your day, or at least make you smile). **
As humans, generally speaking, we don’t randomly binky, or burst with excitement. Whether this is because we’re reserved, or we’re worried about being judged, I don’t know. But what I do know is that life would be a hell of a lot more fulfilling if we did show our excitement, and let loose once in a while! So next time you feel excited, or feel the random need to dance around, just go for it.
2. A good nap does a lot of good
Whether it’s mid morning, after lunch or late evening, Harry and Gilby LOVE a nap. Harold tends to lie like he’s impersonating roadkill, and Gilbert likes to flop on his side in the most dramatic manner possible.
The lesson here? Monitor your energy, and be OK with the times where there’s nothing you’d rather do than get back in bed with the duvet over your head and take a quick snooze. Nothing wrong with it, in fact, it’s quite cute. And we all like to be cute sometimes, don’t lie.
3. Boundaries are a good thing
Chances are, you probably don’t need to corner off parts of your house to stop yourself from eating cables, laptop charger wires, bank statements, the book you’re reading… you get the picture. (If you do, I can totally help you with this). But what you do need is to have healthy boundaries around your health, your relationships, your work and your time, to be able to take care of you and make sure you treat yourself, and others treat you in a way you like. So go corner off the parts of your life that you want to protect and put up good barriers to keep them clear.
4. Stomp like your life depends on it
When a rabbit in the wild is in danger, they stomp to alert other rabbits of the danger. When you have a house rabbit (that has no concept of real danger), they stomp when you don’t feed them on time, when they don’t like their hay, when they want attention, and when they want you to come downstairs in the middle of the night and think someone’s breaking in. When you have two house rabbits, they do all of the above, and set each other off and copy each other - no one tells you this when you decide to take the little bundles of fluff home. Short lesson here: put your foot down to things you don’t like, stand up for yourself, and expect to be treated in a way that is respectful. If not, stomp it like you mean it.
5. Staring into space helps
Gilby and Harry seem to find staring at the wall a leisurely activity. Apart from the times where they both stare at a particular spot in the room and stomp (and I get worried that my house is haunted), they seem quite content just to daze off. Some of my best ideas have come to me when I’m absent mindedly day dreaming or carrying out day to day tasks. Heck, the idea behind That Hummingbird Life came to me in the shower one day. Lesson here? Life is about showing up, and giving yourself space to daydream. You never know what thoughts are going to show up.
6. Everyone needs a cuddle sometimes
Nothing more, nothing less. But try and make it someone you know.
7. Appreciate the little things in life
A short story here. When Harry was a baby bunny, he lost half his body weight in four days, he nearly died but he didn’t, that’s all you need to know. The vet prescribed pineapple juice which we had to feed him through a syringe (to help his stomach) and I have never seen a happier or more excited living thing in the history of my life. And that was over pineapple juice! So while you’re planning big things and buying expensive things that you think are going to make you feel better about your life, don’t skip the small things. Chances are, when you look back over your life, it was the little things that will stick out the strongest and have the biggest impact on you.
8. Don't do what is expected of you
Despite everything you read about bunnies, Harold and Gilbert are totally un-fussed about carrots. I'd go as far as to say that Harold doesn't even like carrots. Not even a teeny bit. And people are always surprised when I tell them, or when they offer to look after them and assume that they just need to feed them carrots. In fact, carrots actually make them a bit ill. The moral of the story? Don't do things because you think you should or because you think it's expected of you. Do things because you want to, and because they make you feel good.
9. Things will always work out in the end
Whether they’re being binkying, napping, trying to get to cables, stomping, staring at the wall, being cuddled or drinking pineapple juice, all of the activities have one thing in common. Everything works out in the end. They wake up and trust that I’ll feed them. Which I do. They flip over and have a nap and trust that they’ll be rested. And they are. They vaguely clean themselves and trust that I’ll make a fuss over how cute they are. And I do. The lesson here? Everything will be alright, everything has a way of working out even if you can’t see it right now. And if everything’s feeling up the shitter right now, contact me and I’ll send you some pictures of the terrible twosome which I guarantee will make you go awww.
You are worth more than your to-do list!
Got a to-do list on the go? Got it with you right now? Good. Now rip it up. I’m being serious. Rip it up, just today. You are more than your to-do list. You are more than the sum of everything you have to do today. If, and only if, the world will end if […]
Got a to-do list on the go? Got it with you right now? Good.
Now rip it up.
I’m being serious.
Rip it up, just today.
You are more than your to-do list. You are more than the sum of everything you have to do today.
If, and only if, the world will end if you don’t do the items on your to do list, pick just three.
You are here, you are alive and you have hopes and dreams.
Living your life, means exactly that. Living it.
Being present, living in the moment and experiencing things.
Go do something that makes you feel alive.
The power of unexpected nice things
We all have bad days. For some of us they’re one offs. For others, they show up pretty regularly. It’s not about banishing the bad days, because like good old Dolly tells us, ‘if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain’. But it’s about being able to deal with crappy days […]
As someone who has been used to rushing about, being perpetually busy and placing high expectations on others, I've often found it hard to keep patience and keep frustration at bay with things being cancelled, delayed or people being late. I would get annoyed, my blood pressure would rise and I would quietly seethe. But, being the people pleaser that I tend to be, I would never say anything.
That was until I made a concerted effort to
Slow. The. Fuck. Down.
And my lens changed.
Instead of seeing cancelled appointments, and late friends as a nuisance and a bug bare, I now relish the time I didn't know I would have to myself.
Be it going to a cafe and taking time to watch the world go by*. Taking some time to appreciate something beautiful I never would have seen. Calling a friend who I always mean to call. This time can be used for self care, doing things you don't usually make time for and just giving you a space to breathe.
It's these unexpected nice things that are often the most vulnerable. They give us time to recuperate and reflect.
They keep us in the moment.
And these moments can be serendipitous. We may meet people we never would have. We may have thoughts that could lead to great plans and ideas. We may have a thought we may never have.
So, give your blood pressure a break when something doesn't go according to plan. Grab that stealer time and let yourself come to life.
* In fact, this is how this blog post came to be written, in a cafe with a stolen thirty minutes I didn't know I'd have.
Are you living with your eyes shut?
We’re our own worst enemies. We push ourselves harder and harder. We expect to get three times the work done in a third of the time. Then we berate ourselves when our immune systems start failing us and when we’re not achieving what we wanted to. Why? Because we think we’re super-human? Probably. The more […]
So many of us are walking through lives with our eyes shut. Tasks become automated, we can’t remember eating our breakfast though we can vaguely remember what we ate and everything starts to become a to-do list item.
Check. Cross Off. Leave for another day.
We end the day thinking about tomorrow. We start the next day already feeling behind.
I know I’ve spent days of my life with my eyes shut. I haven’t seen anyone I’ve passed. I’ve been so involved in creating the future that I’ve forgotten that the present is a work in progress.
We see everything on macro-level. We barely spend any time thinking about the bigger picture.
It’s said that the attention is in the detail. I care to disagree.
Stuck
When we get bogged down in the details, we often lose the purpose that led us there in the first place.
We get stuck in routines. We start to make excuses. We start to justify choices that neither serve us or make us happy.
It’s like the age old fear of waking up one day, wondering who took over your life and how you got there.
I know I don’t want that.I want to look back and think about the risks I took. I want to remember the bold moves I made. I want to reminisce and think, yeah, that was me.
So I want to take a stand right now for living with our eyes wide open. Let’s bask in the boring, let’s make joyful the things we do on autopilot, and let’s make decisions that pry open our vision and make us feel alive.
Go dance in the rain, get off the bus at the wrong stop, cancel all plans for the weekend and spend time with nature.
Go to a stranger’s wedding, get a tattoo, get to bed early and wake up for the sunrise.
Go make a thank you card for a friend, just because, go write out those crazy ideas for your solar panel range of dog coats, go take a cold shower.
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It’s only when we shake shit up that we start to open our eyes.