1128: Tiptoeing into finding our people
When it comes to living a life you love, sometimes it can feel like you're doing it on your own, today I'm sharing some helpful things to help you find your people.
Episode transcript:
Good morning, Daily Peppers. And a very happy Thursday to you. So this week on the daily pep, I am sharing the most powerful things that I have found about getting shit done and taking your dreams off the someday pile. In celebration for registration being open for my flag group coaching program, One Woman Band Club. And today, I wanna talk about being vulnerable and community. So I think it is fair to say for a lot of us around here, we think differently. We see through a lot of the bullshit, but we also have a pretty mean dream shitter. And I know for myself, this can be a really confusing combination, and it can be so easy just to automatically go to beating ourselves up and thinking there is something wrong with us rather than challenging a lot of the bullshit out there.
If you've listened before, you know that I have major beef with the whole toxic positivity and good vibes only thing, and also a lot of the bullshit we get sold to about productivity. I am also a recovering people pleaser and recovering perfectionist, and it can be pretty fucking confusing. And sometimes my dream shitter will convince me that I'm the problem. And if only I was wired a different way, things would be easier. Now I don't think I'm alone in having these thoughts, but it can often feel like we are alone, especially if we go against the grain not because we wanna be different, but because that's just how we feel and we wonder why nobody else is saying it. Something hugely started shifting for me when I started having these conversations. I started having them with friends. I started having them as conversations over on The Couragemakers Podcast.
And there was part of me that was like, shit. If I say these things out loud, what if I'm the only one? But my goodness, I wasn't. But it can be so easy to think that we're the only ones and to struggle on our own. But sometimes we have to get really brave and dig into that vulnerability and share the fact that actually some of this is bullshit, and we're actually struggling behind the scenes. It can be so easy with social media to see everybody else's highlight reels and imagine we're the only ones having the struggles that we are, But that is absolutely not true. But unless we stop talking about it, we don't necessarily know that. So one of the things we do every week in One Woman Band is we have a group coaching call. We tend to alternate between q and a's and themed calls, and my goodness, we really go there when it comes to the themed calls.
So recently, we've been diving into how to have fun as an adult and why that is really hard, the difference between having faith in ourselves and showing up for ourselves, and why we tend to put ourselves last. And that is just from the past 60 or so days. And the magic, I think, comes from the fact that not only is it cathartic and that we feel less alone, but also when we start to talk about it as a group, we start to come up with alternatives. We start to change our mindsets, and we start giving ourselves permission to do the things we actually want to do, and we stop being so damn hard on ourselves. Another thing that I find is just fucking magical is the fact that when you have a group of women in one place and you're seeing somebody who you think is really cool sharing about their own self doubt, it makes you realize how full of shit our dream shittters are and also how unoriginal they are. And by consequence of that, you start thinking, okay. If everybody else's dream shitter is making up so much shit and is wildly inaccurate, then why do I take my own so seriously? And the courage and the self belief and the confidence that grows from that is simply contagious. So I'm sharing this for two reasons.
Number 1, I am shamelessly plugging the fact that registration is now open for the September round of One Woman Band Club, and the early bird offer of a bonus one to 1 coaching session with me ends tomorrow. But number 2 is to start tiptoeing into those conversations. Start bringing up how you see things even if it feels really vulnerable. Choose the people wisely. For example, if somebody is always critical of you, they're probably not gonna be the best person to have that conversation with. But see if you can start to get a bit more vulnerable with those around you. And if you don't have people around you, start tiptoeing into finding your people. And if you've been more than tiptoeing but struggling to find your people, keep going.
They are out there. You really aren't alone in having moments where you feel like an absolute fraud, moments when you look around the world and you just think, is is it just fucking me? And moments where self doubt and your dream shitter takes over. If you can't find your people, listen to the podcast I definitely found for me when I was starting out in building a life I love. Just hearing other people who were also doing it normalized it for me. I no longer felt like I was doing something really weird that people around me really didn't get. I saw that I was one of many, and it made, honestly, the world of difference. Community can look like many, many different things, and you get to do that on your own terms and in your own style as well. So here's to surrounding yourself with people who lift you up rather than tear you down, whether that is online, in person, or surrounding yourself by people who just get it on podcasts or books.
And here's to remembering that we might be square pegs in round holes, but, a, we do not have to shave down our sides to make ourselves curved and rounded to fit in that hole. For me, I know that's not even possible to begin with. And, b, we'd probably fucking hate it even if we could. So I hope you find some unexpected joy today. If you've been meaning to check out or join 1 woman band club, I definitely recommend doing it sooner rather than later. And all the details are over at the rebel rousers.com/onewomanband. And my dears, I will see you tomorrow. And please remember that everything changes when you believe you matter.
Episode transcript automatically produced by Castmagic.io
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A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!
The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women. If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.
Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines.
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