1122: If you're stuck in the comparison trap, listen up!
We might not be able to banish comparison overnight, but this is something that can seriously help!
Episode transcript:
Good morning, Daily Peppers. And a very happy Wednesday to you. A quick heads up before we begin. If you've been thinking about joining the next round of my group program, One Woman Band Club, which starts in September, you might wanna get yourself on the wait list. Doors open next week. People on the wait list get first dibs. September tends to be a popular round because of that new school year feeling. And also the idea of getting the shit that we wanna do that's been on the Sunday pile done in the last 100 days of the year.
So if you wanna be the 1st to know when the doors are open, head over to therebelrousers.com/waitlist. Now on to today's show. So 1 of the things I think so many of us can tend to fall into the trap of is comparison. We know that to compare is to despair. And as Brene Brown puts it, comparison is a thief of joy. But it can be really hard not to, and it is really human. So for today's daily pet, rather than trying to eliminate comparison completely, I just wanna invite you to make fairer comparisons. Now the reason that this is today's topic is because, as I've been sharing on here lately, I've started going to the gym.
And my goodness. A gym can be a hotbed for comparison. There are some seriously fierce, badass women who go to my gym. They have abs. They are lifting the weights, And they know what the fuck they're doing. And I am 1 third completely in awe, 1 third completely intimidated, and 1 third using it as a way to make myself feel shit about myself. Because I am nowhere near where these women are. But rather than thinking, okay, Really? You're gonna compare yourself to them like that's what we're doing? I just go there.
I completely forget that the comparison is so unfair because they've clearly been doing this for years, and I've been doing it for days, maybe weeks. And to make that comparison is not only really unfair, but it also has no logic to it. But I think for so many of us, it's just what we automatically do. If we start writing, rather than focusing on the fact that we're showing up to do it, we look at bestsellers. And we think, well, I can't write anything as good as that. If we're doing our own thing or we're working for ourselves, we immediately tend to compare our progress to people who've been doing it for years. And when it comes to social media, often, we're comparing ourselves it's really easy to fall into thinking that everybody is having the best life ever, and we're simply not. So I know that we are not gonna cure comparison overnight, and we're not gonna pretend to.
But 1 thing we can do is try to be more intentional about who we're comparing ourselves to in the first place. While that still doesn't really help us, it does make it a bit more realistic. It's 1 thing for me to compare my progress to somebody who joined the gym the same month as me than it is to somebody who has their workout routine down, and it is just part of their life. The same way as for you if you're writing, it is way fairer for you to compare yourself to other writers that have been writing maybe for a couple of years like you as opposed to people who have dozens and dozens of books out. But even then, and this is where I start disagreeing with myself, the comparison still isn't fair because we don't really know what's going on in their life. And let's face it, comparison is a lot of storytelling because we are making so many assumptions. So next time you feel like you're falling down the comparison rabbit hole, I invite you to think about this 1 question. Is it a fair comparison in the first place? And if the answer is no, which it likely will be, then fuck it.
Focus on your own lane, focus on what you're doing, and give yourself props to the fact that you are showing up because that is the most important thing. So try that on for size. Remember that you are doing great the way you are. You really, really are. And as always, everything changes when you believe you matter. I'll see you tomorrow.
Episode transcript automatically produced by Castmagic.io
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A short, snappy and sassy daily podcast to keep your internal - and external - dreamshitters at bay!
The Daily Pep! is the rebel-rousing, daily podcast for couragemakers, creative, multi-passionate and unconventional women.
If you’re surrounded by people who don’t get who you are or what you do, if you want reminders you’re on the right path (no matter how scary it feels), or you’re sick of being your very own worst enemy, this is the podcast for you.
Every weekday, your host - writer, coach and professional rebel-rouser - Meg Kissack helps you build a creative and wholehearted life, one day at a time. Through short and snappy insights, reminders and stories, The Daily Pep! is here to remind you you’re not alone, and that everything changes when you believe you matter. Each episode is short and snappy, designed to fit in with (or help you start) your habits and routines
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